Where Wolves Howl and Marigolds Grow

Grandma would always tell me stories of men, women, and everyone in between, who would change into giant beasts who look as if a wolf morphed into a human. Of course, for most of my life, I believed these stories to be the ramblings of an old woman, who had lived far past her time, a woman who was so broken up inside that she turned to the fiction of old regarding werewolves and the legends of their lovers. until I was handed over her cabin and everything in it, in the wake of her death.

She had left the ownership of her home to me since I was the only person in the family who seemed to care. My relatives thought us both crazy and sick for who we chose to love, but we had each other. My grandmother was lucky to have outlived grandpa at least, who was as awful as they come. They had only gotten married because of my grandmother's parents, but much to my great-grandparent's dismay, their daughter's heart belonged to the sweet girl across the street, whom she often told me about. Luckily, for me, I grew up in the twenty-first century and more and more people were a lot more understanding of same-sex attraction, but that still doesn’t mean everyone. My family certainly wasn’t and I left as soon as I could afford my place. Even though she lived far, I spent as much time as I could with my grandma. When I heard that grandma had left the cabin to me, I left my studio apartment, sold most of my things, and set off to live there. That was the closest I could be to her now that she was gone. I even got a job as a waitress at the small diner down the road.

When I arrived, it was almost as if grandma still lived there. Still waiting for me to knock on the doorframe of her study, while her nose was buried in a book with two hot cups of tea sitting on her desk, the kitchen was waiting for us to bring the fine china to the kitchen where the evening air would drift through the open kitchen window.

Everything was as she left it before I rushed her to the hospital. The teacups were still on the table, and the kettle was still on the stove, now cold and tea over-steeped. A few tears spilled from my eyes as I walked into the tiny 50s vintage kitchen where I looked out the window above the sink to watch the squirrel, who was a regular, attempt to get birdseed from the recently squirrel-proofed bird feeder. A choked-out giggle mixed with a sob escaped my throat, with a tremble of my lower lip, before I was looking at the kitchen table where grandma and I would discuss the drama of my life and the histories of her past. While absorbing the vacant chairs in front of me, I notices some papers peeking out from under the cushion on the chair usually occupied by a cheery old lady, with rosy cheeks, and a smile that made her eyes close and crinkle at the corners.

Curiosity always killed the cat, and I guess I was ready to just drop dead that day. As soon as I plucked those papers from their hiding spot, I saw letters upon letters in unfamiliar handwriting addressed to my grandmother. Pulling a note from one of the old and well-loved envelopes, I began to read,

Dear Sarah,

I wish more than anything to hold you in my arms again and take you away from that awful man. After you moved I couldn’t eat or sleep and the curse got worse as the moon cycled. I almost went out to find you, but I was afraid I would shift before I could get to you. Trust me, my love, if I were able, I would kill that man and your father for taking you from me. You should be in the marigolds with me, there to call my name when I’m overtaken by the curse. There is a hole in my heart and soul now that I cant crawl through your window and just hold you. I just want to hold you, dear. I want to twist your hair in my fingers, I want to kiss your freckles and count them like stars. I want to wander around the forest with you my love and talk to the trees and observe the bees. I would ask you to visit me, but I’m sure that your “husband” would follow you. If things were the way I want them to be, the ring around your finger would be from me, and I would call you my wife. I’m always thinking of you. I’ll wait for you always my love.

With all my heart and soul,

Laurie

As if my body could grow any heavier from the ache in my heart, you would think I was shackled to the ground, dragging around a ball and chain. The pang in my chest grew painful and sharp as tears ran like a waterfall down my cheeks. The utter agony Laurie and grandma Sarah had to go through, was too much for me to take. I had heard about Laurie quite a lot since she was always at the top of my grandmother's mind. So I had to keep reading. I had to know more about this forbidden couple, I had to get to know Laurie, from the perspective of my grandma. I had to know real love. Reading all the letters that were tucked under the chair, was painful. Most of them consisted of strong emotions from Laurie, a lot of it pain and anger, but it was all wrapped around love. The inside jokes were the flower in the rifle, the bouquet on a rainy day, though I didn't get them myself, I knew the retelling of the joke from Laurie was to simply make grandma laugh.

After hours and hours of sitting on the floor and reading only pieces of a conversation going on between the two women, I was in tears. The love that poured out of Laurie for my grandmother was so strong, she vowed to never be with anyone else. She wore the ring my grandma bought her every day on her left ring finger, the only time she took it off was when she would get ready to transform, whatever that meant. But fuck, I wanted a love like that. I wanted a girl so on fire about me she vowed to never be with anyone again. A girl that was so willing to kill for me. Well, maybe not that. But I wanted that same amount of love. I always loved with everything I ever had, and I never received a fraction of that. Every relationship I had been in, was just the other taking from me. Collecting what I had to give like seashells from the ocean and then running off back home to admire and allow the collection to either shatter on the journey, or to collect dust on a shelf.

In some of the letters, Laurie would draw pictures. Some were self-portraits, but a lot of them were drawings of my grandmother. She captured the young grandma Sarah beautifully.

Once the overpowering storm of emotion left my body with achy lungs and puffy eyes, I collected the letters in a neat pile and carried them to grandmas study as if they were the most precious possessions on earth. They didn’t belong under the chair cushion anymore. I placed them on the old library desk, next to a book on moon phases. Looking at the variety of books in the small stuffy study, I noticed everything in there had to do with the moon, skinwalkers, werewolves, and lichens. No other piece of literature made itself known within the stuffed bookcases. Picking up a notebook stuffed full of sticky notes and frayed pages sticking out all crooked, I began to thumb through it. I found note upon notes under different names on each page. Under each name were dates and short to long notes on the conditions of each person. Knitting my eyebrows together, I skimmed through the pages and found more names and more information on these people, but the weirdest part of it all, was that there were transformation notes, there were two different weights, two different heights, and two different eye colors for each person. And some of the ways that these people were described, was almost animalistic. I was beyond confused before I flipped through the pages some more and I found countless pictures glued into the pages and notes and names written on the edges of the polaroids. Pictures of my grandma, with different people. Some of the pictures showed faces that shared the same names as people with long snouts, wiry hair, and pointed ears. Sharp teeth and bright eyes accompanied by my grandmother's loving and warm smile. The pieces suddenly clicked in my head as I looked around the room. I looked through the letters from Laurie once again, and everything made sense. My grandmother was obsessed with werewolves because she was obsessed with Laurie. Laurie was a werewolf, and these people, all these people that grandma somehow knew, were all werewolves.

Falling on my ass from the rush of information and the disbelief, I placed a hand on my forehead with wide eyes. Of course, my grandma was right, she wasn't crazy. This was real and she made it her life because the life she wanted was stolen from her in the dead of night. As I slowly rose from the floor, I set my mind to read the notebooks written by my grandma and start a couple of books in the morning. I needed to make this my life, for her. I was too tired to start now, so setting off to the guest bedroom, sleeping in grandmas bed felt too weird, I fell face-first into the covers and fell asleep with thoughts full of werewolves and full moons.

I woke up to a dark room and the sound of glass breaking and weight being thrown into the hardwood. Just my luck, I move into an old ass cabin, and someone breaks in. I frantically look around for some sort of weapon to defend myself with, because I know damn well that I’m going down with a fight. Eventually, my eyes landed on a baseball bat leaning against the nightstand next to me, thank you grandma for being a kickass old lady. I quickly grabbed it and made my way quietly towards the kitchen where the commotion had taken place. Forgive me, I’m a white person. I’m gonna check out the noise. Based on my size, I don’t stand a chance against whoever this is, but I don’t care. The cabin was dark and the world almost seemed black and white, my heartbeat pounded against my skull. I couldn’t even hear my footsteps over the sound until I hit the creaky floorboard in the entrance to the kitchen, and whoever had been on the floor quickly turned to me with glowing, reflective eyes. My blood ran cold as I quickly remembered, human eyes don’t reflect light. The creature stood up slowly gripping the counter like a lifeline with a large arm wrapped around their waist holding their side.

“What are you doing in my house,” I said as if I had the biggest balls on the damn planet while holding the bat over my head. The creature said nothing as they stumbled closer to me,

“Don’t come any fucking closer, I’ll hit you,” Again, no response. Just another heavy step against the wood floor. So I did what I said I would do. I used every ounce of strength to bring the bat down from over my head to make contact with this thing's skull, but that never happened. The hand that had been gripping the counter, grabbed the bat midair and held it steady, ripping it from my grasp and throwing it to an unknown corner of the room, and then they trapped me against the kitchen table. Their arms were on either side of my body, hands big enough that if they wrapped around my waist, their fingers would overlap. The creature was suddenly leaning heavily over me. I’m not very tall, but this person or thing had to be over seven feet and built like a damn monster truck. I was going to fucking die,

“Wheres the old lady,” A raspy feminine voice sounded from over my head. I looked up and saw that she held me trapped against the table her head hung low and her eyes were screwed shut.

“Why do you wanna know,” I shot back. I’m not playing these games today.

“Damn it, she’s the only person who can help me right now, I can smell that she has been gone and that you've been here for a while,”

Well fuck. The woman seemed to deflate and there was steam that rolled off her body like smoke, her arms began to shake and her legs looked like they were about to give out. I slowly and cautiously slipped out from under her arm and turned on the kitchen light. She winced at the sudden light and sat down on the floor leaning against the cabinets. I watched as her body changed within seconds. Her face shrunk in on itself and coarse hair receded back into her skin. Piercing yellow eyes faded into dark brown, and her hands and feet became more human-like. As her body changed I could hear bones crack and tendons pop. All the while this woman bled all over my kitchen.

“What the fuck!?” I couldn’t help but stare on in horror.

“Are you just gonna stare at me while I bleed to death? Get the damn first aid,”

“You might need more than fucking first aid,” I felt my face pale and my hands became clammy.

“Hey! Don’t fucking pass out, dipshit!”

I didn’t like being called dipshit, but what else could I have done but turn right around to get the first aid, except, I had no clue where the first aid was.

“Uh… I don’t exactly know where the first aid is,” the woman let out a loud groan and threw her arm over her eyes

“It’s in the cabinet to the left of the fridge,”

I did as instructed and went to retrieve the first aid. When I returned to the woman, she was still sitting against the light and warn wooden cabinets with her eyes closed and breathing heavily through her nostrils.

With shaky hands I was able to open the first-aid and grab some gauze, then I hesitated. What the hell was I even supposed to do? Before I could ask, the woman let out a sigh,

“Gimme that shit,” she yanked the gauze out of my hands and unbuttoned the oversized flannel that was dirty with blood, mud and was torn up and frayed around the edges. The fabric was terribly stretched out and in no way shape or form salvageable. And well, of course, she wasn’t wearing anything under it. I looked away up at nothing, feeling extremely uncomfortable. How the fuck did I end up with this werewolf chick sitting half-naked, bloodied, on my kitchen floor? Only the universe knows at this point. Just my damn luck honestly.

“Sorry about all this shit,” the woman stated haphazardly while gesturing to nothing with a flick of her hand as she continues to treat her wounds with gauze and alcohol wipes, “Usually there’s an old woman here who fixes me and the others up after a rough transformation phase,”

“That would be my grandma, she passed away a few weeks ago actually,”

“Oh,” after that there was another bout of silence that caused the air to thicken. My mind ran wild, I had all these questions that I couldn’t muster to ask. All I could do was watch this girl dress her wounds, completely ignoring the fact that she didn’t have a bra on, of course, I may be gay as fuck but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna just stare at some bleeding woman’s tits. I’m not a monster, jeez.

“So, since she was your grandmother, do you know about this place? Why it’s here and what she did?” I was pulled out of my thoughts at questions being asked of me, I was supposed to be asking her that.

“Well, I hoped you would know that, actually,”

“Luckily for you, I’m a regular,” a smirk tugged at her lips as she tore her deep brown eyes away from her side and looked straight into my blue ones. With her sudden change of focus, I was able to really look at her face, which was now proportionality human. She had honey-tan skin and shiny long deep dark brown hair that cascaded down her face and pooled around the dips and edges of her shoulders and clavicle. Her nose was thin and had a slight arch, she was, to say the very least about her features, beautiful. With a shake of my head, I honed in to focus on the details of my grandmother’s epic secret life.

“First of all, if you haven’t figured it out already, I’m what people would consider a “Werewolf”, but there are too many stupid werewolf tropes from Hollywood and legends that piss me off, so that title is demeaning,” she leaned her head back against the cupboards and closed her eyes as her hands waved around in the air as she spoke, “A better way to describe myself and others like me is a skinwalker if you have to put a title on it, or what my grandfathers’ people called yeenadlooshi, but to make it easier on you, just say werewolf,”

So I guess this is real life now. Werewolves or skinwalkers or whatever. Is this why grandma wanted me to take over the place?

“Anyway, your grandma and my aunt were very close, my aunts best friend was so in love with your grandmother and your grandmother with her,”

I knew that already.

“So your grandma bought this place as a safe place for us, werewolves that is. She helps us with transformations and when we get hurt or sick. Human hospitals are always extremely stressful let alone dangerous, so if we can help it we just come here, I always hoped my aunt would be able to drag Laurie’s old ass over here, but she was just too frail by the time we even had a chance,”

“I’m sure Grandma would’ve understood,” I said while suddenly finding my feet that were donned in fuzzy cat socks, each one at a different level up my leg, extremely fascinating

“I know, your grandma was quite the miracle worker,”

I let out a soft chuckle as I ran my fingers through my short curly blonde hair, which still held a soft tint of blue on the ends from a horrible attempt at dying my hair at home.

“So are you gonna take over for her?”

“I don’t know the first thing about werewolves, or yeen-ooshi-whatever, how the hell am I supposed to take over when I didn’t even know how to help you? You had to do it yourself,”

“True, you also almost passed out,”

I shot her a sharp glare and jutted out my bottom lip. She laughed and began to stand up with the first aid in hand. When she was done putting it away, she turned around with her hands on her hips and a sly grin dancing on her lips.

“My name is Ophelia, you?” my brain definitely malfunctioned, this girl is way too confident with her shirt open and all her badass battle scars on display,

“Do you want a bra or something? New shirt?” I felt my face warm up as I glanced up at the ceiling, unable to look her in the eyes. her face broke out into a wide grin,

“That’s a funny name, but yes, a new shirt would be lovely, I wanna know you’re actual name first though,”

“Meredith, now please, let me get you clean clothes,”

“Awe, and here I thought you were just gonna let me borrow a shirt, how kind of you Meredith,”

I rolled my eyes and walked into my bedroom grabbing an old plain red t-shirt, and black shorts. The joggers Ophelia was wearing were all tattered and torn, but not as much as her shirt. I found myself looking at other items of clothing wondering how the tall and slender woman would look in them, then I realized, fuck, does it run in the family to find werewolves attractive? This is such a cliche moment I hit my head on the dresser silently cursing myself. This is so fucking stupid.

After abusing my forehead I returned to Ophelia who was sitting at the dining table with a cup of orange juice in hand.

“Everything ok in there? I could’ve sworn I heard repetitive banging,” her dark iris’ glanced at the red spot forming slightly above and between my eyebrows,

“What do you mean? Everything is fine,” I gave her a puzzled look.

“Fucking liar,” she flashed a sharp smile and grabbed the clothes while standing to her feet. Even while in her human form she still stood at about six feet easily towering over my five-foot frame. Thankfully Ophelia had enough sense this time to make her way to the bathroom before removing the rest of her clothing. I don’t think I could have been able to hand any more than what I was already exposed to tonight. Curse my hopeless romantic nature and my loneliness. She made me a little self-cautious, as well as being hopelessly attracted to her. She was so muscular and tall and drop-dead gorgeous. I didn’t get a chance to see her very clearly in her “wolf form” or whatever you call it, but I was positive she was still just as beautiful in that form as well.

After a little gay panic in the kitchen, Ophelia emerged from the bathroom and sat down across from me, continuing to sip her orange juice.

“Do you mind if I stay tonight?” I choked on air.

“Stay?”

“Yeah, I get to recover and you get to learn more about this whole werewolf thing,”

After little to no thinking at all on my part, I agreed to let her stay. Who was I to deny her? We stayed up and learned a little about each other that night and I for one learned a lot about werewolves. Turns out, the silver bullet thing is complete bullshit, a bullet of any caliber and metal type, could kill anyone werewolf or not, also the moon phase thing is true when it comes to the transformation. The transformation is not at will, though when under high amounts of stress or when intense emotions are at play a transformation can occur apart from the moon phase or time of day, and consciousness remains until the night of a full moon. Usually, the day before a full moon and the day after is when they transform fully into and out of their “wolf form”. But they don’t remember anything that happens the night of a full moon. The night Ophelia literally came crashing in, was an out transition type of night. Finally remembering why I woke up in the first place, what the fuck broke?

And with that discussion over and a broken window cleaned up, I found myself sleeping in the room I didn’t want to sleep in and Ophelia in mine. Before I closed my eyes I stared holes into the ceiling just trying to jam it into my brain that I wasn’t in love with Ophelia. I found her absolutely gorgeous. I found her physically attractive, but love comes from knowing someone and finding their personality attractive. So my self-assigned mission began. Get to know her, and prove to myself that I just have a silly crush. She wouldn’t love me and I don’t love her. I wish I had known the power of the word, ‘yet’ back then.

We spent a week together. She taught me all that she could about stitches and different folks from around the area. She showed me who all the people were in my grandmother's notebooks, and I learned a lot about her. I learned that she comes from a long line of werewolves, that her ancestors were among the first Americans with lycanthropy. I also learned that she loved white chocolate and marigolds. She had a flower shop a bit further in town, down the street from the diner I had just gotten hired at. She also had a little black cat named Jackson, who kept her company at the flower shop and then rode in the basket of her baby blue bike back to her own cabin just up the mountain, a few miles away. I had learned that Ophelia was more than the harsh personality she put upfront. She was patient and kind, and she loved to tease me. Though when the teasing was over she would help fix my mistakes with gentle calloused and scarred hands, and she would praise every little accomplishment with a gentle cadence to her honey-smooth voice. She smelled like leather and honey, and I soon fell in love with her. Objectively she was beautiful, but her heart was gold and embedded with perfection and grace. I had fallen in love with a woman within a week, and saying goodbye was the hardest thing to do because I had no idea how to go about this new development in my life.

Once Ophelia left me to my own devices, the cabin was lonely without her helping me study werewolf anatomy and what to do if any of the regulars get aggressive. Honestly, the whole thing about taking over my grandma’s hobby was a little terrifying. Especially thinking about the fact that my fucking old ass grandma dealt with them, and yet she was always kind. That’s what Ophelia said anyway. And apparently, she spoke about me a lot too, which was embarrassing in of itself.

Ophelia said that grandma was proud of me and I would be a liar if my eyes didn’t get a little misty at that one. And the kind person Ophelia was, just wrapped her strong arm around my shoulders and let me cry, without a word.

I just wish grandma had told me about the true meaning behind this place before she died though, but then again, she didn’t know that her time was coming so soon. Maybe she would have eventually, I just wish I had known all along. If I had, I maybe wouldn’t have broken down as a different werewolf came knocking at my door at five in the morning with open wounds from a fight with another lichen.

I almost passed out, and almost vomited from the thick iron smell of blood, and when he left thanking me with a half-hearted hug and a swift swipe of his neck against my face, I broke down on the floor. In the middle of the living room, I cried and cried until I was lying flat on my back with dried up streams of tears down my cheeks and into my ears. I stared up at the ceiling contemplating everything. I still had to clean up the blood in the kitchen, I still had to read some more on how to treat open wounds, I still had a whole other life to manage. I had to change my schedule around at the diner so that during full moons, I would be available to the lichens, still hoping every time I would see Ophelia again, god I wanted to see her again, amongst all the werewolves I met, she was still my favorite. But she had yet to come back, for longer than a month. I had visited her flower shop a few times but every time the woman behind the counter wasn’t Ophelia. And each time I would ask, the woman would smile sadly, and tell me that Ophelia wasn’t feeling well. It made me so angry. It was as if she didn’t want to be around me, and that broke my heart. Even though I had only known her for a week, her absence took a toll on my heart.

Time and time again, I would get a knock at my door, and either I would be greeted with blood and guts on a stranger’s face, or a familiar face sporting tired eyes and dirty torn clothes. But never Ophelia.

A whole damn three months went by without seeing her, and I just figured she hated me and didn’t want to come back, or she just fucking died. I had stopped trying to the flower shop, it hurt too much each time I didn’t see Ophelia, and I needed to stop hurting myself that way. It’s not like we were that close, she only crashed into my window and stayed a week in my guest room, while teaching me about werewolves and shit. Not like she was like the werewolf goddess compared to all the others I had helped out for the past three months. No, she wasn’t my sole thought in the morning and last one at night. Fuck. I am a terrible liar.

With Ophelia or not, I made a routine. most of the time my visitors were just tired with minor scrapes. Rarely would I get the bad stuff, which was music to the ears of my weak stomach. I would close up shop if I had to stuff guts back into someone more than every other month.

One particular night I got a knock, and when I opened it I was greeted by a stranger. He was an older man with a crooked nose and greying hair at the sides of his head, and a scruffy unkempt beard, trimmed roughly close to the skin. He looked pretty beat up and definitely needed stitches in his face, I quickly ushered him inside into the kitchen and poured him orange juice, I always kept multiple gallons in stock. Werewolves love that shit, don’t ask why, I couldn’t tell you even if I knew. Not even Ophelia knew, she just knew that she craved it after each transformation.

Fishing out the first aid and putting gloves on I quickly got to work on cleaning and working my sharp needle through thin wrinkled skin that would probably bruise at the brush of a feather. Once I started dabbing his face with a wet cold paper towel, he growled at me. I had gotten used to it and dismissed it as him just being a fucking dick, which is usually the case when I started cleaning their faces. But then his hazel eyes turned sharp green, and his bones began to creak, rounded ears became long and pointed, and small human teeth became sharp and dangerous.

“Fuck,”

Not wanting my house to get destroyed, I ran out the front door, Ophelia said that out in the open was better, in preserving my home, and giving myself more space to put in between me and the perpetrator. The werewolf came bumbling through the door, growling and baring his teeth, with his ears pinned tightly to his head. Green eyes locked onto me, and I felt my face pale as the werewolf charged straight towards me, I froze. I willed my legs to move. I willed myself to run. But fear had locked onto my joints and I could not gain the strength to get away. The werewolf reached me and roughly shoved me over, knocking the wind out of me, and roaring something awful into my skull. I turned my face away, tears springing to the corners of my eyes, scrunching my face up tightly. My ears were ringing as I felt his hot breathe against my face and drool dripped onto my face, and just as I smelt his nauseating breath and the ringing in my ear began to subside, the weight of the large male werewolf was gone, and a quick burst of clean forest air cascaded across my entire body. I turned around and crawled as fast as I could across the dirt, and crouched behind a tree, wide-eyed and breathing heavily. Before me, a familiar shape beat down the older werewolf, a larger lichen, of seven feet, with bright golden eyes and dark chocolate brown fur, wrestled the lichen into submission before ripping him to shreds. She had dug her claws into his neck and repeatedly pushed onto his throat as if she was administering chest compressions, but instead of saving a life, she was brutally raking it. The amount of blood that spilled from him and the smell that took over the lush green and comforting air was nauseating, I could do nothing but wail as I watched the young lichen destroy what remained of the man. After crushing his throat, she clamped her jaws around it and shook vigorously. It seemed as the man’s head was barely attached at all anymore.

Once no life remained, just a limp bloodied vessel. The stillness that was left in the wake of the chaos was terrifying. The large lichen let go panting heavily, and licked over blood-stained teeth, before standing over the body at her feet, shoulders heaving as steam began to roll off of her body just like before, and she tilted her head back releasing a staggered sigh from deep within her chest. She looked around, looking for me. And I don’t know why, even after witnessing a whole ass murder, I rose to my feet and reached for her while sobs burst forth from me, making me stumble. Ophelia ran towards me, catching me in her strong arms, and enveloping me in them. She brought us down to the ground, keeping her arms wrapped tightly around my frame, shielding me away from the bloody mess that lay a few feet away. She pet my hair and kept me tucked under her chin while I continued to shake and cry, all the while she stayed steady.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Meridith,” she mused into my hair, “Don’t look at it, someone like you shouldn’t have to look at something like that,” she pulled away slightly and cupped my face into her rough calloused hands,

“Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” composing myself enough to look into her soft comforting eyes, I shook my head and she hugged me tightly. She let out a sigh of relief and swiped her neck over my cheek, just like that guy did a while ago, but I had no time to think of what that could possibly mean now. She then began rubbing her wrists on mine, and my arms. Mumbling softly to herself while her brows lay knit together tightly, her face holding an unreadable expression.

“I’m so sorry, Meridith,” I looked at her confused, still holding no strength to speak.

“I should’ve come around sooner so scum like that wouldn’t think they had a chance to get close to this place,” she ran her fingers gently through my hair looking over my face,

“I just wanted to make sure you were serious about staying,” her voice was barely a whisper, and she leaned to rest her forehead against mine, my breathing finally became even as I drew in a deep breathe of iron filled cold air,

“I thought you didn’t like me,” tears still flowed down my cheeks but my voice held a steady cadence. She brought her hands slowly down to my face and swiped the tears away with a rough thumb, keeping her eyes closed and her head against mine.

“I just needed to make sure you were everything I felt you were, I just had this really intense feeling with you. It made me- I dunno it sounds weird but-” there was a pause before she began again, “I didn’t want my heart to lie to me, even if my instincts told me the same thing, I should’ve checked on you though, damn it.” Ophelias voice cracked slightly as the seams on her emotions began to wear thin, “I’m sorry, I started to like you too fast, I think you’re beautiful and it scared me,” her voice broke at the end of her words, and her hands trailed up to the back of my neck into my hair again, gripping slightly, almost if she was afraid I would leave.

“I was on my way to come see you and apologize when I heard him when I saw him about to hurt you, I realized how much of an idiot I was for not coming around sooner,”

“It’s okay,” it was my turn to be the comfort for this woman of pure iron, “I think you’re beautiful too,” I cupped her face just like she cupped mine, rubbing my thumb over her sharp cheekbone, I pulled our faces away slightly and her eyes fluttered open, revealing bright golden irises, instead of the rich chocolate. I couldn’t understand why I had just admitted to indulging myself in her beauty, I don’t know if it was to calm her heart or to stoke the fire in mine, but I don’t regret saying it.

“I think we should head inside,” I whispered staring deep into gold.

“Yeah, I’ll clean this up after you go to sleep,” before I could stand Ophelia gripped my shoulders tightly, “I’ll carry you in, I want you to close your eyes too, I still don’t want you to see what I did,” she looked away from me, shame and guilt eating away at her mind. Even though I had witnessed the whole thing, I didn’t want to push her too much so with a curt nod I closed my eyes tightly, an arm was tucked behind my knees and the other around my shoulders, holding me bridal style into the house.

When the door closed behind the large woman, I opened my eyes looking up at Ophelia’s sharp facial features. She set me down and ran her fingers through her long hair, glancing at me with uncertainty teasing at her eyebrows and changing the shape of her eyes. She drew in a breath, but before she could get the words out, I spoke first,

“If you apologize again, I won’t let you stay the night,” she faltered for a moment before she let go of a small chuckle, that made my face flame fifty shades of pink.

“Why don’t you sit down, I’ll get you a blanket and some orange juice- that is unless you would rather drink something else,” the care and concern that shone through her eyes and in the tempo of her words made me melt at the spot, as well as become overwhelmed with emotion once again, I had never had anyone other than my grandma care for me so much, it was a small offer but it spoke one-thousand words. I couldn’t understand why she cared, I was just me. I wasn’t anything or anyone special, but Ophelia thought, no, she was sure that I was something to cherish and to care for, maybe to even love.

“Orange juice is fine, thank you,” I smiled at her and turned towards the soft couch in the living room, grabbing the tv remote before throwing myself into the plush cushions. Ophelia came around shortly with a thick fuzzy burnt orange blanket, she tentatively wrapped it around me, making sure that every part of me was covered except for my face. I began to cry,

“Hey, what’s wrong?! Is it too much? Am I bothering you?” Ophelia froze on the spot and panic splattered across her face.

“No! No! Everything is perfect, I’m just not used to being this cared for,” with a gentle brush of her fingers, hair was moved away from my eyes, and dark iris pierced through my heart. Her face morphed from panic to pure affection.

“Someone as lovely as you needs to be taken care of too,”

I felt my face burst into flames as I struggled to find a response. Ophelia rose to her feet with a laugh before wandering into the kitchen to get my orange juice.

With her return, she handed me the cup which, I, unfortunately, had to take my hands out from under the soft fabric to hold. After a few moments of silence and shuffling around, Ophelia was tucked comfortably beside me underneath the blanket, so close our bodies touched. I turned on the tv but I paid it no mind, there was too much going on, and too much that just happened.

“Did you mean everything you said?”

“Every word,”

I looked down at my hands before turning to look at the woman currently staring so seriously at me, studying every crease and divot on my face. I felt my face burst into flames from such an intense gaze, I wondered if she cared that I didn't put on makeup today, or if she could see the acne forming a colony on my cheekbones, but in my heart, I knew she didn't care about those things. She brought her wrist back up to my neck, gently swiping it against it before pulling away slightly, almost nervous. She bit her lower lip before studying my face again, avoiding my eyes,

“You smell too much like other lichens,”

“Excuse me?”

“I want you to smell like me, I want them to know that they can’t

mess with you because you’re mi- you’re protected by me,”

Nervousness was an odd look on the normally very cocky and confident woman, but underneath the blanket of uncertainty, a fire was raging on behind her eyes and embedding itself in her skull, she was protective and beyond that she was possessive.

“Is that why you keep on rubbing all over me?”

There was a beat of silence before a quick and quiet “yeah,” broke through.

“Ophelia,” this time I stared into her deep dark eyes, taking note that a few specks of gold broke through the deep cocoa of her eyes when I said her name.

“When you said all of those things earlier,” my heart rate began to speed up as I gnawed at my lower lip tasting a bit of blood, “did you mean them as in... a less than platonic sort of way?” I turned away from her and closed my eyes tightly, expecting something other than I got. A hand gently guided my face back towards hers, and a thumb broke my lip free from in between my teeth,

“I don’t think I would say anything of the sort and mean it platonically, Merideth”

A sharp intake of breath broke through the air as I looked at the woman, who was dead fucking serious.

“After the first time we met, I was crazy about you. I didn’t want to feel that way, and I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t like that but fuck,” Ophelia ran her fingers through her hair and let out a soft chuckle, “You’re so fucking gorgeous and all your little mannerisms are so cute,”

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and dip down my neck and shoulders, and the blanket was suddenly very warm. Maneuvering the upper half of my body out from under it, I turned to face the werewolf in front of me,

“I know this is sudden after I basically disappeared for almost four months, but I felt it through every corner of my soul that I had to have you, there was something gnawing at the back of my head begging me to run back to you, to make you mine. I needed you,” she drew in a deep breath, “It scared me so fucking bad, I had never felt anything like that before, so I ran. And I regret every minute of it,”

I couldn't properly process the words pouring out of Ophelia's mouth,

“You, think I’m beautiful?”

“Stunning,”

“You think Im cute?”

“The cutest,” A hopeful smile broke out on her face as gold specks kept on surfacing and dancing around her irises. If she had a tail right now, it would probably be wagging, the thought made me giggle. The pure admiration on her face made me think that maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.

“Ophelia,”

“Meridith?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Suddenly muscular arms were wrapped tightly around me, and Ophelias face was buried in my neck, nuzzling me as if she could crawl under my skin,

“Yes, yes, I would love to,”

I wrapped my arms around her, and for the first time. In a very long time, I was content. I was whole.

In the morning, I woke up tucked in my own bed, with the sweet smell of bacon and pancakes wafting in through the cracks of the door. Stumbling out of the large bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes with a yawn, I made my way towards the kitchen where I knew Ophelia would be waiting.

Entering the kitchen was like walking into a dream. Ophelia stood with her back towards me, focused on making pancakes while the bacon sat piled up on a plate with a paper towel placed over the top. She was wearing a dark green flannel with tiny black shorts.

Padding over to her, with a dopey grin, I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled into her back, taking in her scent of honey and leather.

Being granted the ability to whole heartily embrace someone I love was more than a dream come true. The number of sleepless nights begging to whatever god that may be out there to please grant me someone, to have, and someone to hold as well as be held came too frequently to count, but at this moment I knew I wouldn’t pray that prayer ever again. The morning sun drifted through the window, kissing my cheeks as light particles filled the room with utter warmth. I felt Ophelia take in a deep breath,

“How’d you sleep, dear?” the pet name sent butterflies through my stomach and up my throat, I felt my chest swell and the apples of my cheeks became sore from the stupid smile I just simply could not wipe off my face,

“Really well, thank you,” she turned around to face me, placing her hands on my waist, with a gentle smile teasing at her lips,

“how did you sleep?”

“Wonderfully, dear” Ophelia placed a chaste kiss on my forehead, making my face erupt in different shades of pink, before I could react, she pushed me back into a chair with a chuckle before tending to the pancakes once again.

“After you fell asleep I cleaned up the front yard, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, also I don’t think you’re gonna get creeps around here anytime soon,”

“How did you clean it up?” there was a beat of silence,

“You don’t want the answer to that question,”

“Ok… well, why do you say there will be no more creeps?”

“You don’t want that answer either,”

“Ok super vague and violent werewolf of mine, can I know when the pancakes will be done?” Turning from the stovetop, with the pancakes and bacon in hand, Ophelia gave a blinding smile, showing pointed canine teeth while the sun made her dark cocoa hair glow with a halo of gold. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest with how beautiful she looked, with her sharp features and the way her eyes crinkle shut from how big her bright smile is. The overwhelming sense of love sent an ache through my bones, but that kind of ache that you craved. The ache you wanted to feel every day of your life even though it made your knees give out and your arms feel like jelly. I don’t deserve anything like this. I don’t deserve such beauty to call my own. And yet, here I was. I had the most beautiful and badass girlfriend, who killed a man for me, and made me breakfast like a soft housewife, but a housewife who is absolutely jacked. Who turns into a werewolf. Yeah, my life was starting to look fucking perfect.

“So, the full moon is coming up, and I need you to be fully prepared for some things,”

“Like what? I’ve seen a lot of shit while you were out sulking about having feelings,”

“I was not sulking! I was just- nevermind, you need to be prepared to deal with a werewolf significant other, super different than a werewolf you don’t have a relationship with,”

“And the difference is?” I stuffed pancake drenched in syrup in my mouth while Ophelia fiddled with a few strips of bacon before breaking them in half and taking a bite out of one of the halves,

“The difference is when I go feral and shit, I’m going to be super fucking protective over you, gonna go out ready to fight anything that moves in your direction,” She took another bite of bacon, “Which means, you cant have any lichens within a mile radius of you, I will fuck them up,”

“Well damn,” I placed my fork down on my empty plate, “Anything else?”

“I won’t stop rubbing on you, like I said before I want you to smell like me, but this will be an annoying level of scenting, my ma has always called me an anxious wolf, I have always heavily scented while fully transformed, everyone is gonna know you’re mine, love,” a feral grin spread across her face. I let my head hit the kitchen table,

“You’re gonna kill me with these pet names,” Ophelia just laughed and ruffled my hair as she stood up and collected the dishes from the table.

The nights progressed pretty well, Ophelia ended up bringing her cat over before her transition became too bad, but once the full moon was around, she was something completely different. There was no trace of a person behind her eyes, she was definitely like an oversized dog that was highly reactive, aggressive, and protective. Her cat had found sanctuary in my room, while the lichen paced around the home constantly knocking shit over and growling at any little sound. Every few minutes she was rubbing her face on mine and a deep rumble would vibrate from deep within her chest. I thought it was cute at first, but now it was just annoying. Especially when I was trying to sleep, she would catch me right about to drift off into dreamland, then boom. Big ass werewolf in the face. But the cycle was relatively uneventful, which I was very thankful for. I just lost sleep, but it was worth it getting to snuggle with my giant furry girlfriend.

That’s mostly how the months went by, I would have a few nights without sleep because my girlfriend is going absolutely feral, but it was okay. She loved me, completely and utterly adored me, and I had never experienced a love like hers. She was like a raging fire, full of emotion and warmth, ready to cause mass destruction in the name of love. I thought I loved like crazy, but she proved to me that not everyone is just going to take from me, not everyone is going to break me. I knew that now. This woman, held me like I was the most prized possession on earth when I felt no greater than the dirt beneath her feet. She looked at me like she just saw the most beautiful flower when I felt ugly and unlovable.

Anything negative I felt about myself, anytime I felt less than what she thought of me, she was right there to battle the intrusive thoughts. The fact that this woman could hold me so gently while simultaneously rip out a man’s spine, was incredibly hot and very heartwarming. God she really was just my guardian angel, my knight in shining armor. I would go as far as to say that she’s my soul mate. Though only a few months have passed, from becoming officially girlfriends, I have never grown so close to someone so quickly. She was what grounded me, kept my head above the water. And because of who she is, I let her go off and do her own crazy shit, I never wanted to restrain her or keep her from doing what she wants, my intention was never to cage her, but I wanted to be there to catch her from hitting the ground too hard when shit gets tough. I wanted to be her rock just as much as she was my shield. Sometimes, the cycles would be hard. I just wanted to yell at her, but I knew she didn’t know what she was doing when the moon was full. So I just continued to do what I could for her.

I would visit her little shop, and every time she would gift me a marigold and a daisy, which was my favorite flower. And when she wasn’t working, she would read a book in one of the booths of the diner while I would work, and then she would walk me home, and kiss me on the doorstep before going home, or staying the night.

Each day she would bring me a little gift from the woods, usually a smooth river stone, or a pretty leaf that she kept safe and pristine within the pages of her books. Sometimes it would be a little twig, and she would tell me an overly long story about how the little, seemingly meaningless object reminded her of me. I cherished each little object she gifted me. I would keep the stones in a large mason jar, I would keep the leaves in a binder, each with a laminated page, and I would arrange the sticks in a neat little pile, next to my jar of rocks.

We did our best to make time for dates with one another, usually, we would go on walks, or have a picnic by the creek, but my favorites were home dates. Dancing in Ophelias living room to the gentle twang of a guitar and the steady heartbeat of a piano has to be one of the best memories I have.

Or when we watched the twilight series together and laugh at all the dumb werewolf tropes. I loved hearing Ophelia laugh, it was like a breath of fresh air. Ophelia was my fresh air, and my entire world revolved around her.

One night, while preparing for dinner, waiting for Ophelia to arrive at my place, I got a knock at my door. I knew it wasn’t my girlfriend, only because she doesn’t knock anymore. She just lets herself in. Cautiously approaching the door I opened it to find one of my regular visitors with a rather worried look on her face,

“You’re Ophelias mate right?”

I muttered the word “mate” under my breath before shaking my head to reconstruct my thought process, “Uh yeah, why?”

“She’s losing it right now, I don’t know what happened but she needs you right now!”

Scrambling to get my shoes on I rushed out the door and just started running in the direction the visitor pointed me to. My lungs were burning and my nose felt numb, but I just kept on running. As I ran, I couldn’t help myself but just scream Ophelias name. My voice broke off from overuse but I didn’t care, I need to make sure the love of my life was alright. I need to make sure she was okay, I needed her to be okay.

After running for what seemed like an eternity, I reached a clearing full of wild marigolds. They drifted softly in the wind as the setting sun added to the orange and red glow of their petals. If I wasn’t so panicked for the safety of my girlfriend I would have admired it more, but I was frantically looking for that familiar shape of a large body and chocolate fur.

Running further into the clearing I frantically looked around before I heard a pained groan, familiar enough for me to know exactly who it was.

Rushing towards the sound, my eyes finally landed upon heavy heaving shoulders of a fully transformed werewolf. Approaching Ophelia carefully, her body snapped in my direction letting out a dangerous growl. I placed my hands up, open palms towards her slowly.

“Shh baby, it’s me remember? Meredith?”

The growling continued as she stepped towards me, the gold of her eyes completely swallowed up her pupils, she almost looked crazed.

Drool dripped from her teeth as she continued to growl upon her approach. Large clawed hands caged me between arms bigger than my head, I could feel her growls vibrate the ground. I was crouched on my knees but as soon as she got close enough, I fell on my ass and just stared into her eyes as tears began to fill mine.

“Please love, it’s me. Please snap out of it,”

I tried with all my might to keep it together but the tears kept on coming,

“Fuck I’m so scared,”

I don’t know why I was scared. I have never been scared of her, but I think at that moment, I was scared for her. I didn’t know how this was triggered, but it was enough to keep my baby from me, and that terrified me just as much as it terrified her.

Nearly laying on my back now, while Ophelia continued to hover over me, jaws snapping, and growling, I suddenly remembered my grandma telling me that on the rare occasion a werewolf has a soulmate, the only thing the said soulmate has to do to bring their beloved out of their crazed state, was to simply speak their name. Praying to every god out there, I hoped that our bond was that of soulmates.

I brought my shaky hands to scruffy fur behind Ophelias ears and gripped it gently as a wobbly smile made a home on my lips.

“Ophelia,” barely a whisper but the growling ceased.

“Ophelia,” this time a bit louder, her name broke on my tongue with a sob.

“Ophelia,” she shook her head as her pupils became normal-sized once again, and recognition danced around her face as her body began to slowly but surely melt away into the woman I loved so dearly.

“That’s my girl,” I mused with an actual smile, as tears still slowly trickled down my face and into my ears.

Once her body was fully back to normal, she was still on top of me, straddling my hips. She grabbed my hands, which were still placed behind her ears, and yanked me into a sitting position, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

“Merideth,” she whispered into my ear. my skin tingled and goosebumps covered the entirety of my body.

“I am so sorry Merideth,” I brushed my fingers through her hair as she began to sob into my shoulder. I gently rocked her back and forth, whispering words of encouragement as she slowly began to calm down.

“You’re my soulmate,” I felt her warm breath brush against my shoulder as she traced shapes into my back.

“Seems that way doesn’t it,” I laughed lightly, enjoying the feeling of Ophelia in my arms and my lap.

“Fuck, you’re MY soulmate,” She lifted her head off my shoulder and looked deeply into my eyes.

“Yup, sure am,” suddenly I was being yanked to my feet and was wrapped into yet another bear hug. We stayed like that for a while. Gently swaying with the flowers that surrounded us, as the sun dipped below the horizon. Ophelia slowly separated us, just enough to hold both my hands gently in hers, her eyes were closed and her forehead stayed connected to mine,

“I can’t believe your mine,”

A few stray tears fell across my cheeks and down her own, I felt her body tremble as I began to sob again. She brushed the tears away and continued to hold me tight, not daring to utter a word.

“I was so scared,” the words barely made it past my lips,

“I know, baby,” her voice was broken,

“I thought I lost you,”

“I thought I was going to lose you,” she fell to her knees and sobbed into my stomach,

“I’m so sorry, I don’t deserve you, you’re such an angel and I feel like an absolute monster, please forgive me, I don’t think I can forgive myself,” her voice cracked and faltered as her shoulders shook, I ran my fingers through her hair and rubbed her ears till her cries subsided and all that was left was uneven breathing and the occasional sniffling,

“I would forgive you over and over, there is not a single time where I wouldn’t, I love you too much to hold anything against you,”

she sniffled, “Thank you,”

She rose to her feet, and I placed my hands on her face wiping the tears away from her beautifully crafted face,

“Merideth,” she placed her hands on top of mine

“Yes, beautiful?”

“I love you,” She kissed my palm and I drew in a sharp breath, that was the first time she said it, I couldn’t help but smile,

“I love you too, Ophelia,”

The sun was now barely a sliver over the horizon and the world was encased in a beautifully comforting dark blue hue, the fireflies began to awake and they danced around the brightly colored fire red and orange marigolds, then Ophelia began to speak,

“I know we haven’t been together for very long, but I just knew that you were it for me, even before we discovered that we are soulmates. I don’t want anyone but you, and if you would like to have me, will you stay with me forever, Meredith?” She knelt to one knee squeezing my hands tightly before pulling out her pocket knife from the pocket of her torn jeans and cutting thick strands of hair from the nape of her neck,

“I can’t afford a ring or anything fancy, but I can offer this humble piece of me if you would call me your wife?”

For the second time that night, I began to cry. For a completely different reason though. I barely got the word, ‘yes’ out into the air before she tied the strands of hair around my wrist, ensuring that it wouldn’t come to lose, then overcome with emotion I smashed my lips against hers.

“Stop crying you dork,” She gently brushed my hair behind my ear as the other hand cupped my face and gently brought her lips to mine, “I love you, sweetheart,”

Collecting myself I was finally able to speak actual words, “I love you too,”

“I can’t wait to spend my forever with you,”

And that was only the beginning of the rest of our beautiful story.

~End~