When I look into your eyes

Asher is still in a coma. I don't know if whatever is in Black Hills, South Dakota will wake him up. It has been three days. I can't wait anymore. Ash’s husband, Hudson, is distraught. But Bhavna promises to watch over him with the kids. Including Hudson and Asher’s daughter, Shadow.

Hudson is hysterical over leaving his family. But Serena and Clara gave him a pep talk.

“This will be a deadly mission. Gathering ‘Letters for our cause? A shit notion to my mind,” Serena squawk's out. Clara lands Serena a dirty look.

“But uncomfortable situations is why we are built so damn tough,” Serena clears her throat, and Hudson wipes his puffy, red, pained eyes. “For our family, we gotta put ourselves in the most uncomfortable position possible. It's how we grow. Learn. Shape up!” She continues with her fist slamming into her palm.

Hudson says after a long pause, “Let's go.”

But everything turns to chains of interlinking chaos as we all start to prepare our trip. Shadow is tugging at her dad’s arm, and he intermittently cries and then, yells gently for her to stay calm. Bhavna is trying to gather her kids, Jonas and Jacob, from causing another clamor as they are trying to petition to come along with us.

“I'm old enough! I can help!” Jonas argues and Bhavna gives him an expertly experienced stern look, so stern, he stops his arguing, taking his brother to relax in the now deserted movie room. She can talk to her boys without words, even as her sign language works just as well.

I look at my dear husband, Stan, and he is running, tripping, hysterical. His once soft raven black hair, now turned into stiff wires that seem to be running away from his head.

He can't stop running around like a zombie with his head chopped off halfway, so I suddenly stare at him.

Like a radiating light, it hits him. He turns and I almost feel like I have a pulse as it starts to race so fast, I feel dizzy.

The world goes pitch black and all I see is him. His lovely chestnut brown eyes.

Ax, as big of a zombie man he is, couldn't block out the gamma rays that Stan and I were putting off. Like a bog, we were slowly rising out of the decay and squalor, a large, lovely, zombified mess of beauty and truth.

Our eyes feel like solar panels being drawn to the sunlight. He is my sunlight.

In a wave of strange calm, I feel as though we can hear each other. The same type of connection we had the very first time we meet. We said so much, in literally not a single word. He saw only me. I saw only him.

I look gently at Hudson and then to Stan. Stan seems to know exactly what needs to happen. With all the messy chaos of everyone hurrying to leave, suddenly it is calm and Stan’s slight gaze is like a nudge of soft warmth and security, saying, I got this, Bex.

Hudson is crying over a bag of his haphazardly packed things and Stan nods swiftly, gently going over to our desolate friend. Our eyes keep looking at each other as he helps his best friend up to stand and reassuringly pats his back. Hudson sniffles and then straightens. In a shaky breath, he tells us both he is ready. It makes Stan and I feel relieved, both taking in that non-existent deep breath.

Stan gives my travel bag a side glance and I make sure everything is packed that I need for our trip as Shadow and I say our goodbyes. I make sure we have extra water for our human family, as Stan looks at the kitchen sink, which reminds me of our lost humanity.

And Hudson finally smiles. It's shaky. It's sad. But, it's there.

It reminds me we are all just… well, I can't quite say we’re all human. But, we are here. We are all here.

Stan doesn't smile but his eyes are glimmering at me, and I know his love for me is a true testament to how well we can work together as I give my Goddaughter, Shadow, a kiss on the forehead and hug her tight.

“Bexley, ready to get it, girl?!” Serena yells at me, and I wave to her with a smile.

Stan walks over to takes my once shaky hand and everything smoothens out like softened butter.

Our gaze never wavers as I feel he is reminding me that I got his back and he has mine, and nothing can break that bond.

It is all there, right in his eyes.

We are going to be okay.