Un-Valentine Me

The Lamia girls were busy discussing their plans for Valentine’s Day in the coffee shop. They were too deep into their talk to pay attention to the other customers around them. Therefore, none of them noticed the smartly-clad young man enter the shop and walk over to their table until he cleared his throat. Looking up at him, they all groaned aloud upon seeing him.

“What do you what, Steven?” Leslie, the outspoken one of the group, demanded.

Stuttering, Steven answered, “I was hoping I could talk to Robin for a moment?”

All the girls made gagging noises and began laughing while Robin looked at them reproachfully. Turning to the handsome youth, she gently but firmly said, “Steven, I told you yesterday I wasn’t interested. That didn’t change overnight.”

“I know you did. I just wanted to give you a gift for Valentine’s Day,” Steven coaxed.

“No, I don’t think so. Goodbye, Steven,” Robin responded while standing up. She looked at the other Lamia girls, and with one mind, they all got up and headed out of the coffee shop.

♥️ 💔

Later that day, Robin was exiting the grocery store when she heard her name being called. Recognizing Steven’s voice, she pretended not to hear and kept walking. Robin heard his footsteps behind her. She quickened her steps, but he overtook her easily.

“Here, let me help you carry your bags, Robin,” Steven offered.

“No, that’s ok, Steven, I have it. I don’t need any help,” she quickly reiterated.

“Well, can I at least walk you home then? I’d like to talk to you,” He wheedled.

Quickly, Robin motioned for a cab and said, “Sorry, Steven, but I told you I’m not interested. Now, I’ve got to get going, Goodbye.” Robin quickly hopped into the taxi and shut the door behind her. She told the driver to drive her home and leaned back in the seat, glad she had ditched the tenacious man.

♥️ 💔

When Robin arrived home, she saw a package on her mat. She quickly opened the door, pushed it inside, and went in to unpack her groceries. Once everything was put away, she went to the living room to open the package.

The box was wrapped in Valentine's heart paper, and it was obvious that the package hadn’t been delivered. Robin debated against opening the box, but curiosity got the better of her, and she tore into the wrapping, ripping it open. Once she opened the box, she wished she had left it outside.

At first, Robin was amazed at the contents of the surprise gift box. Inside were European candies, gourmet coffee, gift cards to spas and bookstores, jewelry, and body-pampering oils and lotions. Self-indulgent items that she would never buy herself but always wanted.

Then, Robin found the Valentine’s Card at the bottom of the box–A card that professed the undying love of Steven in flowery prose. Feeling sick, Robin gathered everything back up in the box and threw them in the trash. Aggravated with herself, she had allowed a man to get to her, even if for a second, she went into the bathroom to pee and wash up for dinner.

♥️ 💔

Robin was starving and was trying to decide where she wanted to eat. Most of the finer restaurants in town would be booked with couples dining out for Valentine’s Day, and she didn’t want to be out amid so many lovers. When the doorbell rang, she had just decided to eat bar food at the local singles bar. She was disappointed to see Steven standing at the door when she answered it.

“What do you want, Steven?” She asked him in a wearied voice.

Shoving his way inside, he responded, “Please, just hear me out, Robin. Give me a chance. I want to prove my love for you.”

“You’re too good of a guy, Steven. You need to find someone who can love you back in return, why can’t you understand that?” She tells him.

“You’re the only one I want, Robin, why can’t you understand that I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you in the coffee shop? You’re the one I dream of, the one I fantasize about. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Robin, please, give me a chance,” Steven coaxed.

“Please, you must understand I’m not the one you want. You deserve so much better than me. I’ll only give you pain and suffering. Just go, Steven, please, leave now, while you still have a chance,” Robin could feel her empty stomach growling its disapproval of her words and knew there wasn’t much time left.

“I don’t want anyone else, Robin, I only need you! Why can’t you see that we’d be perfect together? I’d do anything for you!” Steven affirmed his devotion to her.

Knowing it was too late, Robin groaned and tried again, “Please, Steven, just go. Find someone else to love! I’ll only bring you pain!”

Robin could feel her skin shifting and her bones cracking. She barely heard Steven as he continued talking, professing his love the whole time. Her hunger had become real, completely consuming her and changing her. Turning toward Steven, she let out a sibilant hiss and said, “S-s-s-steven, s-s-so glad you s-s-s-stayed.”

Her jaws opened in a macabre way, widening ever so wide, while she advanced toward Steven. He began to scream when she asked, “S-s-s-steven, be my dinner?”

Turning to run, Steven knew he was too late, he could feel Robin’s tongue on the back of his neck. In four gulps, Robin had swallowed the poor youth whole. Turning back to her normal self, she rubbed her belly, finally satiated. Then she made a strange face and went to the sink to wash her mouth with water.

When she was done, she said, “I hate when they shit themselves. It makes them taste crappy.”