The Teflon Don
Epic Beginnings
They call him the Teflon Don for two reasons. First, no matter how hard the law tries to go after him, all indictments slide off of him akin to a Teflon pan. Second, he is similar to the original Teflon Don - John Gotti of the Gambino crime family, who was just as brazen and media-savvy as Trump.
What people don’t know, however, is his origin story. All speculations about his difficult childhood with an abusive father and coldly absent mother are wrong. It’s all his own doing.
You see, after that botched scalp reduction surgery by Ivana’s doctor, Trump sent a manifesting request into the universe to not only have his hair fixed but also give him the superpower of persuasion. Using his best words, he manifested, “I will be able to con anyone into doing what I want, follow me no matter what I say and do. Like, if I shoot someone in the middle of the 5th Avenue, I will still not lose any supporters. And no lawman can ever get to me.”
Someone in the Universe heard him. Shortly after, a new personal barber showed up at his mansion, highly recommended by one of his friends. She assessed Trump’s hair, mumbled something like “not much to work with even for a demon” and wanted to trim it.
When Trump saw her taking the scissors, his face turned orange and he screamed that she cannot cut his precious hair. Trying to appease him, she arranged his hair into a peculiar combover that became his trademark and said, “This is your source of power, Donald. It will be so distracting that people will forget everything you say and do. Don’t ever lose or cut it!”
And so the Teflon Don was unleashed onto the unsuspecting world.
About the Creator
Lana V Lynx
Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist
@lanalynx.bsky.social
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This index is just for my subscribers. I finished and published this long story or short novella of 6,000 words recently. I tried to link all previous parts of the story in the next one, so if you went along you shouldn't have been lost. This index is just put everything in one place.
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Comments (13)
I like the piece on how this came to fruition. He's a con man who never is held accountable.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is a pretty funny addition to the challenge haha, well done Lana.
Nicely woven, funny and sprinkled with a little truth
Excellent!!!
Biting satire, Lana! I am always surprised at how people buy into him and what he says. Just the sight of him raises my hackles and as a writer, when I hear his speeches, I just hear hollow words with no substance. He is the true definition of the confidence trickster.
The truest satire is the one that makes you cringe, laugh and want to change the world - is it not? This is so close to the bone, it hurts and I'm not even American and don't have vested interest in America persay. Well done, Lana. So cutting, so brutally honest and hilarious. One of my favourites.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 THAT IS LIKE THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The trouble with this is, it's funny at my mouth, but my eyes aren't smiling cause it's too...not funny. Scary. It's scary.
Ohh this was good!! 😂😂Fun and inventive take on Trump’s persona, Lana! 💌
The Horror tag is perfect!!! 😂😂😂🤩🍻 Such a clever and creative epic beginning!!! Hmmm, so all we need to do is cut that hair and we will be free from the facade we call Teflon Don! I'm on it!
I started laughing on the third paragraph....and I'm still going. This was rather an ingenious spin on the given prompt. Of course, there are some sobering (and true) statements herein, too. On another note, please tell me: have you ever considered stand up comedy? Seriously, great work from you, as usual.
Arggghhh say it isn’t so! Make it go away!! Great take on this, Lana🤣🤣