“Congratulations to the host for unlocking the hidden achievement 'Raising a Hamster in the Principal's Wig'!” I was being chased by security into the men's restroom stall when the system popped up with golden fireworks. The hamster in my arms was gnawing on a shunted wig piece while the principal's exasperated growl came over the radio, “What little bastard hid melons in my Louis XIV wig!”
It all started when I mistakenly drank the lab's fluorescent potion and bound this lackluster system: [Every social death can be raffled off, and the ultimate prize is the erasure of all black history]
“Now go to the cafeteria and eat snail powder with a face bowl!” The system suddenly activated mandatory mode when I refused, “Otherwise trigger the ‘farting and singing the national anthem’ punishment!”
I rushed to the window with the pink face basin on my head, and the spicy oil splashed onto the school grass Bai Yiyi's limited edition sneakers. His head popped up a blood red favorability bar -99%, but when he saw the rubber duck floating in my basin, he laughed out of snot bubbles: “You eat also comes with a bathtub ducky?”
“Gained 500 points of laughter energy”
“Lucky draw for [Principal's Voice Imitator]”
The next morning assembly, I was forced to use props to tamper with the broadcast: “Students, today's recess drill has been changed to a square dance, ‘Drunken Butterfly’, and the lead dancer is Bai Yiyi, a student from the third year class two!”
When Bai Yiyi's cold face was pushed by the director of education to lead the drill, the system suddenly gave me fluorescent green dinosaur pajamas. The moment the music started, the baton in my hand turned into a magic wand that sprayed colorful ribbons, while Bai Yiyi's tie automatically danced a mechanical dance.
“You're done.” Bai Yiyi blocked me in the stairwell during lunch break, but was suddenly poked in the nostril by the system reward [Truthful Onion] in my pocket. He sneezed tearfully, “Actually... Your dinosaur dance was much smoother than the school beauty contest.”
“Ambiguous vibe detected.”
“Trigger Couple Quest: Perform Maggot Love at Flag Raising Ceremony”
The most outrageous thing was on the day of the monthly exam, the system made me write multiple choice questions all over my ass. As I twisted into an electric motor butt, Bai Yiyi suddenly raised her hand, “Teacher! She's using her butt to solve calculus!” What's even better is that the invigilator actually pushed up his glasses, “Give 5 points for steps.”
Now the whole school is going crazy with “Shocking! The god is a hip language expert”. The cafeteria launched a “social death package” - snail powder in a basin with a free yellow duck, and the principal turned the wig incident into an anti-hair loss advertisement: “Even hamsters love the hair piece!”
The school day finale completely sealed the deal. The system let Bai Yiyi and I perform the comic “on how to gracefully social death”, the props microphone turned into a water spraying toilet brush. When Bai Yiyi expressionlessly said, “The following performance of traditional arts and crafts chest broken onion”, the principal wig was suddenly flicked into the air by the stage organ, revealing a shiny brain.
“Surprise!” The system suddenly manipulated the whole school to broadcast, “Please enjoy the principal's solo dance, ‘Bald Disco’!”
Under the fluorescent lights, the principal was forced to gyrate to the mechanical dance steps, and we took the opportunity to stuff ten screaming chickens into his pants pockets. When the last chicken came out of the cuffs of his suit, Bai Yiyi suddenly put a ring on my finger - made from an onion ring - in the midst of a sky of colorful ribbons.
“The system says that collecting 100 times of social death can be exchanged for a wedding officiant.” His ears were red and dripping blood, “The next mission is to dance the seaweed dance at the Civil Affairs Bureau, are you coming?”
At this moment, the hamster is gnawing on the trophy on the awards platform, while the big screen plays the video of the two of us dueling with toilet brushes in the men's restroom. It turns out that the highest-end social death is to pull the whole world together to go crazy ah!
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