The Real Tale of the Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

Once there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, who had so many children she didn't know what to do. The fathers were nowhere to be seen, and as the oldest turned 18, he was no longer a boy and becoming a man. He had seen first hand the cruel and selfish nature of too many of his kind. His mother's insatiable lust and senseless need for companionship....the poverty caused by the King and the Queen and their covetness for all the wealth and crops in the land.

The boy who was but one of the woman who lived in a shoe's offspring, had grew vengeful and sought out to right the wrongs of his own life and that of his siblings.

She had too long put her carnal needs and the desires of men before her own flesh and blood.

One day when had been whipped soundly for answering his mother back, he bided her time until she visited the farmer, her newest beau. The boy gathered together the things he had hidden beneath the shoe, at the back of the heel and out to the woods he went. He had in his hand an axe and some flint and a tiny piece of steel.

Once he had found the driest and most perfect firewood he set off to the farmer's house, where he could hear his mother and the farmer behaving like lovers. They were groaning, moaning and laughing at life and how they planned to eat the children. It was worse than he imagined, thought the boy, but still he was prepared to do what was necessary.

He propped the firewood around the house. Used the axed to wedge the front door shut and then struck the flint against the steel and started a fire. Then he went forth to the King and the Queen, the plan in place to rise the ranks and when the opportune moment came, he would cut off their heads and claim the throne as his own.

As time passed and his plan came to fruition, when he had a moment alone with the monarchs. As they bathed in their tub, he reached for his axe...

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Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: Had reverted this to Drafts when I was considering expanding it for the Legends Rewritten Challenge, but never did. So apologies for the republish. Boom on the money again, 366 words. Another more nursery rhyme than fairytale, but LC says they qualify, so eat that, pedants! (I am one of you). I've always been suspicious of the old woman who lived in a shoe, and who had so many children she didn't know what to do. I have a few suggestions - close your legs, love, it's draughty and things have a habit of getting in there.

So, yes, this is my horrendous take on the whimsical (FFS, it includes the kids getting whipped soundly, it's not really that whimsical) story. Here is the link to LC's unofficial challenge:

As ever, here are some more pieces by me: