The Real Tale of Jack and Jill
A less sanitised, factual retelling, in rhyming story form.
Have you ever heard the tale about Jack and Jill and their attempts to fetch a pail of water from the well at the top of a hlll? I bet you've heard the clean and whimsical cut, and not the one that will make you sick to your gut.
You see so much is left out of these tales of old, so much darkness, so much horror. The lightness made it easier for the books to be sold.
Listen to me as I tell you the real tale, for I am not bothered by poor book sales. I'm more concerned with the truth coming to light, than trying to make you sleep better at night.
Jack and Jill were given to argue and fight as siblings have done since time and memorial. Never a day went by, without some disagreement or tussel that caused their mother to sigh.
The day in question, therefore, was one like no other, when a fight erupted between this sister and brother. They had been tasked as they had been so often in the past, to take the empty pale to the top of the hill and use the well there
He had pulled her hair and punched her chest, the reason for his actions, we can but guess. Power and control at his behest, to lord over this sister without pause or rest.
Jack, though, did not count on his sister's spirit, to her gentle guile and quiet cunning he never gave much merit.
As they climbed the hill to the well at the top, Jill had a mischevious smile on her face and a spring in her hop. Jack on the other hand had evil intent, on Jill's demise he was so hell bent.
As they reached the summit, he reached for his wooden bat, just as Jill leaned over to stroke a purring cat. Jack was not as quick or clever as Jill, and with one swell push, she sent him down the hill.
Jill whistled with delight as she fetched the water, and made her way down the hill crying with laughter. She made her way home and exclaimed to her mother, that she had defended herself from her ill-intent brother.
His body lay there at the bottom of the hill, and his bones remain there to this day still. The lesson, you ask, what could it be? Ne'er a bully like Jack you should be.
One day you might find your match, and over your shoulder you should keep watch. For a sibling, spouse or your closest friend, may turn to violent revenge in the end.
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Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: Had reverted this to Drafts when I was considering expanding it for the Legends Rewritten Challenge, but never did. So apologies for the republish. Fairly self-explanatory - 366 words of the True Story that happened between the rival siblings, Jack and Jill! Here is details of LC's awesome unofficial challenge:
Here are some other forms of word abuse and English language torture by a Scot named Paul:
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!


Comments (17)
Brilliant Paul. The way you have tossed the original in the air like a bowl of spaghetti and then re-arranged it into a great tale. The fact that you got it to rhyme is also a bonus. Has to be a Top Story contender in my humble opinion.
I can’t believe you got this to rhyme too! Damn I’m with Mark though - your like the modern day Brothers Grimm! Love it!
You are sounding like The Brother's Grimm for modern times with these tales. Good job.
Tell me, what was that well doing at the top of the hill anyway? Doesn't that mean they had to dig/drill all the further to reach the water--not to mention both lower & lift the pail a greater distance? Such a delightfully sober take on the old nursery rhyme.
Loved this rhyming retelling! I’m afraid I didn’t read many entries for this challenge because the first few chapters were a bit triggering. So I’m sorry to have missed it but glad you republished it so I can enjoy it now!
🤣 IK I recognized this great story <3
Hi, Paul! (I hate to be THAT person, but) I have created a new challenge and would love for you to check it out! (just in case it's something you'd be interested in) Keep up the great work! https://shopping-feedback.today/writers/inside-the-animal-s-mind-an-unofficial-challenge%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">
Great entry. Thank you for including the Content Warning. Gave me a chance to prep for the gut punch. In case you mind - typo spotted in your fourth line "tiem and". ;)
Scarily well written! I forgot about the brothers Grimm… this is probably very close to the original story 😵💫
Well-wrought! Actually, many of the details of those Grimm stories were... pretty grim. For instance, in Cinderella, the stepsisters cut off their toes to try to fit into the glass slipper. Naturally, Disney didn't include that part, but I think there is an apt lesson in that, akin to cutting off one's nose to spite one's face!
I've known a few cruel Jill's in my life! This was a great take on the fucked up fairy tales challenge! Good luck!
Well done!
I can see myself as Jill. Hehehehehehe. Loved your version of this! 🍩🥐
Jack fell down and broke his crown cause Jill kicked his ass! I like your version better, Paul! Well done!
Oh, sibling rivalries! lol. Nice take on the challenge. :)
Thank you, pal, for bringing the truth to light, and for the reminder of why I always keep one eye on Pam!
Oh Jack...he should never of underestimated his sister.