How To Never Feel Pain

If you are reading this, that very likely means that you are alive, and the scary thing about being alive is that you can get hurt. Most of us don’t like doing it, and will go out of our way to try and avoid it, but once you’re born, it seems as though pain is inevitable- but not anymore! With this step-by-step guide, we will teach you how to avoid pain in your day-to-day life- not PHYSICAL pain obviously, we’re not wizards or anything(As far as YOU know…), but we CAN teach you how to not get hurt by others!

In this step-by-step guide, we’ll teach you how to never feel pain (From Others)

*Results May Vary

1. You are never wrong

The world has over 8 billion people in it, with more and more coming in every day. With those numbers means there are plenty of new thoughts, ideas and perspectives that can allow us to learn new things about ourselves, others, and the world…

But all of that is a lot of work! It’s MUCH easier and more fun to simply see your word as gospel, and consider anyone else who has a different point-of-view as hateful, ignorant, or both! After all, if what you think was wrong, why would you be thinking it? Just something to think about…

2. NEVER leave your comfort zone

Even when you know that you’re right, there will always be people and places around you that will wanna challenge your beliefs. This is very dangerous, because if you are challenged enough times, you MAY begin to engage in it and try to understand other people’s worldviews. We don’t want that! The best way to avoid this is to stay in your comfort zones- avoid new places, only hang out EXCLUSIVELY with people who think just like you, make sure your surroundings are as limited as possible. They say variety is the spice of life, but the thing about spice is that it burns, which is painful, and we’re trying to eliminate pain here, so get ready for homogeny!

3. In fact, if you can help it, never leave the spots where you are MOST comfortable

After a while, even the familiar people and places MAY begin to change- as people, we have learned to adapt and become better over time. If you see this beginning to occur, simply flee as quickly as possible and retreat to a safer zone where you know that nothing is going to change. This could be your room, the covers of your bed, or literally just the recesses of your own mind. As long as it’s a place where you aren’t challenged in any way, there’s no real possible causes of pain!

4. Don’t get to know people- that’s how you care about them!

Feelings like love, trust, and care may sound good on paper, but you gotta look at the bigger picture- they may be amazing at first, but what happens when you lose them? That’s right, you start to miss them, feeling things like loneliness, sadness, depression, emptiness, and a need to reflect.

This is all painful and exhausting! So, to avoid any of this, just cut out the middle man and don’t get to know people at all! And the best way to do that is to follow our next step, which is…

5. Avoid communication talk, don’t listen!

Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves- which means that your favorite topic is very likely the same! So when you’re talking with someone, why would you EVER wanna discuss something that doesn’t relate to you? That’s right, you wouldn’t! So, whenever someone tries to talk to you about something other than yourself, simply don’t listen- it doesn’t pertain to you, therefore it shouldn’t interest you, meaning why would you ever listen to it? People can listen to you all they want- I mean they should, it’s YOU! But that doesn’t mean you should have to return the favor(Especially when you consider it’s more of an honor than anything!)

6. Stick with what’s easy- challenge is for masochists!

If you wanted something hard, you wouldn’t be reading a guide on “How To Never Feel Pain”! Working on things involves some sort of heft, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, or a combination of the three, something in you is being challenged. Which begs the question- why would you do that when you could simply just not? If it seems like it’s work, it’s probably not worth it, regardless of the payoff. The best kind of award is not having to do work, so stick with that, and leave the challenges to the weirdos who read the articles on “How To ACTUALLY Feel Pain”!

7. Straight up, f*ck self-improvement

Let's be blunt here, the only way to improve ourselves is through some form of work or struggle, and that clashes with the whole point of this lesson here. If you wanna be better, that's fine, but just understand that this article has NOT been for you! If you wanna avoid pain, you have to avoid struggle, so you can either go through life painless or find ways to better yourself- pick one!

8. Give in to hedonism (Sex, Smokes, and Shots!)

With how much of life you're managing to avoid, you may begin to feel bored, empty, and like life is meaningless, all of which sounds painful, or at the very least not fun. You might be wondering “What do I do when I'm busy avoiding everything” and the answer is simple- just don't avoid things that actually give you a sense of joy with instant gratification! Drinking, smoking, sex(with simple pleasures and no strings attached, of COURSE!) will help to replace the empty void of achievement, close relationships, and any other positive feelings that come from a sense of self worth!

9. Block out the world- it only throws problems at you!

At the end of the day, your main takeaway from this guide should be this- the world is full of problems. People have worries and struggles that make just trying to live a nightmare. So, the key to feeling no pain is simply avoiding all of that! Stay away from problems and commitment, and only be a part of things that give you an instant rush! Remember, pleasure is not pain- pain is pain! And this article just taught you how to avoid pain for 100% pure pleasure- Enjoy- Your new hassle-free life!