The Highwayman

Lady Constance ‘Connie’ Mobley decided to walk in the woods surrounding her father’s manor. Being the only daughter in a family of twelve children, she craved peace and solitude from all the gas fights, arm rub burns, and head neuggies. She wished her mother had at least one other girl for Connie to have allied with.

Connie was walking along, thinking of the coming holiday season and wondering what she should make her family as presents. She figured Mama would love to have another set of handkerchiefs made just for her. Papa would, of course, appreciate a hand-knitted scarf. Her brothers she could make socks or mittens for, they’d be happy with whatever she made them. Then, of course, Nanny needed some new house slippers. She was cutting it close with her gift-making, but she thought she could finish them in time.

As she continued in her little world, unaware she was being followed, she wondered what Mama had asked the cook to make for supper. She hoped it was her favorite rabbit stew but knew she’d be happy with the ever-present shepherd’s pie that the cook was fond of making.

Suddenly, she was grabbed from behind, and she heard a mean voice saying, “Jus’ hold still now, and ye’ won’ git hurt.”

Well, that word hurt set Lady Connie into action. She grabbed that man by his head and threw him over onto the ground, where he landed on his back. Then, she proceeded to beat the living snot out of him as if he were a rag doll. You could hear that man hollering for miles.

“No! Please din’t!! I swear I won’ do it agint Missus!! Jus’ let me go!!”

When Lady Connie was done whipping him, she returned to the house. She thought, “Thank the Lord for my eleven brothers always picking on me.”