Satire
Preamble to the Constitution of the United Vegetables of the Refrigerator Crisper
Author’s note: A friend challenged me to rewrite the preamble to the US Constitution including the phrase “…in order to form a more perfect onion” which for some reason this friend found particularly hilarious. I thought it was kind of cute too and decided to accept the challenge. It was actually fairly difficult but I do like what I managed to come up with.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Fiction
Local supervillain distraught to learn that science and mechanical engineering are in fact, two separate fields of knowledge.
Earlier this week local supervillain Iam Evil, the internationally reviled businessman, made international headlines after kidnapping a dozen scientists for some nefarious purpose. A local reporter managed to use his press credentials to gain access to the volcanic lair where Mr. Evil was holding the scientists, and he was there to report on the evil scheme, and how the various doctors figured into it.
By Holden Marx4 years ago in Fiction
In Tribute To The Late, Great, Jason Morton
Jason R. Morton sadly passed away yesterday at the age of 324. As one of the founding fathers of Globadyne Industries, Jason founded the company with his longtime companion and business partner, Sharice Brouliett. The two were shrewd entrepreneurs, opening up several businesses, and building a legacy that lasted the past 274 years. As a media mogul, telecommunications mogul, entertainment mogul, and land developer, over what has been nearly the past three centuries, he's lived an astounding life.
By Jason Ray Morton 4 years ago in Fiction
An Experiment
On a gloomy Halloween night, my roommate and I were in our dorm room, gathered around a table. In the center of the table lay two empty beer cases. They were duct taped to each other and filled with crushed beer cans. On the edges of the boxes protruded four stacks of empty cans that were glued together. They all extended to the end of the table. Two of the stacks were parallel and they ended in liquor handles on the side of the table that we stood at. The necks of the bottles were inserted into the end of each stack. The right and left stacks ended in five double sized shot glasses with the openings facing in. From the top protruded a third box leftover from a finished twelve pack of beer. The left side laid open while the right was closed.
By Henry Felerski4 years ago in Fiction
No Nothing
Carol liked apples but Ted preferred pears. One liked to sleep all day, the other went for long walks thru the land never returning before the sun was lower than the moons. Both enjoyed lots of other things the other didn’t like, that didn’t involve the other. Carol would spend all day marching the garden, circling the lake, and chatting with all the animals. fowl, lizards, furred or bumpy skin, 2 legs, four legs, 6 legs, no legs.2, wings, one horn. She would have long serious talks with them lasting hours. they would sometimes answer back continuing long conversations filled with nothing but gossip and daydreams, everybody interrupting each other raising their voices, all of them trying to get the last word in. They talk about their feelings, days of boredom, ideas of letting go and moving on, of changing their pasts and futures. About taking off for the edge of the earth. What was farther than the eye could see.
By Craig Johnson4 years ago in Fiction
The Ghost of Christmas Dysfunction
Before we get to the story, let me tell you who I am. No one talks about me on their Christmas cards or in their “Christmas edition” family newsletters, which by the way, is just to show everyone they are keeping up with the Jones’s. No group of carolers will be singing my name or singing about me. There are no tv specials or movies about me. Everyone likes to pretend I don’t exist, but oh, I do. All the drama, chaos, and general holiday fuckery you experience during your holidays? Yup. That’s me. I’m the Ghost of Christmas Dysfunction.
By J. Delaney-Howe4 years ago in Fiction
Who Would You Cast if Your Story Was a Movie?
Pick a story. Any story. What could possibly be more fun than writing something people loved? Or getting published? GETTING A MOVIE DEAL! -- And no, that hasn't happened to me. At least not yet. BUT, what if it did? Would you be ready? Do you know exactly who should play the parts in your story?
By Pam Reeder4 years ago in Fiction
The Coffee Opinion
By Thomas G Robinson When I stepped out of the tent, a supposed five-person tent that I remember getting online at Amazon, yeah, it was right after I got my second shot of the Pfizer vaccine. Not that that matters, because my only worry right now is if all the coffee is gone. I needed to get up and start this day. Still, it was kind of a shock to feel the cold of the forest grounds. Little rocks, sticks, blades of grass and weeds that were poking and tickling my feet were a cold awakening to the early morning sun blinding my vision briefly.
By Thomas G Robinson4 years ago in Fiction
