Satire

Calling Moscow - 8
This conversation took place on February 6, 2022 “Hello, Vlad?” “Yes, who is it?” (shouting through sounds of a loud party in the background)
By Lana V Lynx4 years ago in Fiction
What I am
Today Today is the first day of my life, funny how everyone who says it, right before something life-changing happens? The life-changing can be bad, dragging them down like weight or uplifting them making them rise above. Well, that is exactly what happened, as of right now I'm still figuring out if it's a weight or not. The beginning of the day was normal, I woke up to my alarm blaring next to my ear, the tune was a generic tune that grate my nerves. I rolled over turn off my bed got up to get ready for my day. My apartment is crappy on the south side of Louisville, I remember growing up not too far from here and it was beautiful, and told myself that I wanted to live here when I become older. Man, how time changed I thought as I brushed my teeth, now the area I live in is crappy, when the mayor decided to shut down the projects and turn put them out they paid them to get out, with that type of money they moved right in the area always wanted to live. This has lowered the property value, now everything is run down not even pizza hut deliver in my area. I put on my wrinkled work clothes ( made sure I smell them since they haven't been washed recently) and regretted getting up already. Going on nothing but steel resolved and determination repeating my daily mantra “ i can do this” as I locked my door and unlocked my car, sliding into my car seat all the while wanting to run into my apartment and forget this day ever happened .taking a deep breath, I started the car and started my route to my job, this is all muscle memory, the twist, and turns of the roads every light and stop signs, the one thing I know by heart. Overall thinking how muchIi hate my job, the tedious of it, how i feel no accomplishments at the end of the day. Pulling into the parking lot of my job, a meaningless tech pop up company. The company name is irrelevant since they change it every month or so, as i walk into the door scan my key card, traveled to the third floor. As i sigh in relief when i got into my cubicle, making small talk with people who don't even care about you what so ever makes my skin crawl.
By Mac Wood4 years ago in Fiction
Meet an owl day.
Dear reader, I thank you for joining me on this journey and although I can't promise you over 2000 words full of excitement and wonder which are two things I usually associate with meeting owls and all kinds of animal (my favourite being camel) I can tell you the experience was bumpy and anything but smooth so if this does end up sounding like a rant bare with me it will be more interesting. Now on we go...
By Cameron Ann Morgan4 years ago in Fiction
The Tragedy Owl
“Every time anything notably traumatic happens in my life, a barn owl appears.” If the sentence shocked or disturbed my therapist in any way, he didn’t show it. I don’t know what I expected from him, but after sharing my deepest, most unhinged truth, I wanted . . . something – something other than a diagnosis regurgitated sloppily from the DSM-5.
By Marlowe Faust 4 years ago in Fiction
Spiritual Healing
Life sucks when your girlfriend breaks up with you, your boss fires you and you are rejected from university… Yes, my reality is that of the start to a cheesy chick-flick your sister forces you to watch.
By A. D. DOUGHTY 4 years ago in Fiction
Now Hiring
Three to five years of work experience in a related field required. The lethal phrase mocks me from the very, very bottom of the webpage. Hastily, I scroll back to the top, wondering if I’d misread the job listing. I hadn’t: Junior Research Assistant, Entry Level, it claims.
By Arsen Ellion Quill4 years ago in Fiction
The Slow Death
When Damian Wiggian was in fifth grade he learned that genetic traits are passed from parents to children. A cacophony of anxiety and panic ricocheted hazardously inside his very haired head.
By Joey DeSomma4 years ago in Fiction
Onion Tears
He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Wait - what? This is the 21st century? To be extra-clear, then; they were dating.
By Will Savage4 years ago in Fiction
Hector the Protector
“Hector! Come hither!” bellowed the drawling screech of King Aloysius. Hector jumped at the booming voice of his master, and scuttled through the stone hallways of the King’s Court, tripping over his pointed, belled slippers, landing squarely at the feet of the King. As he stumbled to stand, his hat brushed His Majesty’s nether regions, causing the servant to stutter his apologies.
By Renessa Norton4 years ago in Fiction
Calling Moscow - 5
The following conversation took place on Jan.6, 2022, one year after Trump supporters attacked the US Capitol. “Hello, Vlad?”
By Lana V Lynx4 years ago in Fiction
The Job
Father didn’t want The Job. He posed in his blue suit across the desk from Mr. Major anyway, counting the ticks of the wall clock. Sweat itched across his scalp and beaded along his hairline. Mr. Major flipped a page in his hand and scowled at Father’s resume.
By Dillon R Morgan4 years ago in Fiction
And Everyone Clapped
I literally live on minimum wage, I’m doing just fine. I don’t get why people think you can’t. I work from 9am to 9pm Sunday through Friday, so that’s 72 hours a week, getting paid $8.25. I make about $600 a week and even saved up enough to visit Disneyland.
By T. J. Ward4 years ago in Fiction