Satire

Jason Provencio, Unmotivational Speaker
I wanted to give being a professional writer my best effort. I put my heart, sweat, blood, and tears into this, but it’s time for my writing to take the back burner for now. I decided I’m going to be an unmotivational speaker.
By The Mouthy Renegade Writer3 years ago in Fiction
Planet Tetro ~ Page 23
We heard them before we even saw them . Out of no where we were surrounded by a large army of insect warriors . There were still a few of the big ones left . The numbers were minuscule compared to how many normal soldiers had suddenly circled us . With their small size they still formed a thick intimidating circle around us three . We instinctively formed another triangle . Only this time we were back to back . Out of no where a bleeding , sweating , but smiling John says . “ Here we go guys !”
By Terrence3 years ago in Fiction
Planet Tetro ~ Page 22
I told the guys , “good teamwork but lets keep moving until we get out of here . We can patch ourselves up before we do our last charge to the cave “. We continued to sprint and luckily we made it out of the forest into the clearing . From the edge of the forest we could see the Sapphire Cave . The cave was large and dark . Even from the outside you could see that it was connected to a mountain on one side and it was connected to hills on the other . The entrance was big and menacing . It resembled a giant predators mouth more than a cave entrance .
By Terrence3 years ago in Fiction
Planet Tetro ~ Page 20
So I decided to do the honors of updating Bulls Eye . Especially since I had already gave John the honors of waking him up . I briefed him about the troop totals and our final conclusion . That the insect people all have been headed to the Sapphire Cave . I also told him that we should charge through the forest and try to surprise whoever or whatever awaits us at the cave ready to fight . That was the main point of camping so close . Other than the danger of the forest ,
By Terrence3 years ago in Fiction
Planet Tetro ~ Page 17
I took into careful consideration what both of my partners said . Then I replied to the both of them . “ I want to go right through the forest . An unnecessary detour now will only have us traveling through the night . I would say tonight that we find a big tree to camp in at the edge of this forest . If we go another way , we’ll lose time anyways . I say we play it patient and quiet in the tree . We can keep watch to see if anything is going on in the first place , while hiding and staying low-key . Even now let's scout the edge area and make it safe right after we talk . I'd also say we can even use some of those Sweet tree’s sap ( Similar to honey trees of our world ) . We can use the stickiness from the sap to stick leaves all over our bodies . Our very own make - shift camouflage . “
By Terrence3 years ago in Fiction
Hang Those Who Talk
We’re doomed, her gaze said — even before she could give a literal voice to the bleak assessment of their prospects to her coworkers. When she could speak, she said: “They’re saying that it’s inevitable. That if we defend our allies in the region, it will escalate, we will get pulled in, Brice, and they…”
By Eric Wolf3 years ago in Fiction
Planet Tetro ~ Page 12
After I asked those two questions, Bulls Eye started talking. "Okay, I'll answer you quickly because it's about to get real. You only slept for 2 hours, Bright, which is still decent for you. We were going to wake you up at 3. Regarding this army of little guys and maybe girls, it would be safe to say we have to get ready. They haven't blinked one time since we woke you up. Good thing we kept a small fire going, or we probably wouldn't have seen them. "
By Terrence3 years ago in Fiction
Planet Tetro ~ Page 11
Now to get back to the more critical matters. There were plenty of questions that just came up. We have a schedule, though, so we have to figure it out on the go. All hope is not lost; this is a perfect time to test my new invention. After my last mission, I created a near-indestructible device. It's also waterproof. It's a metal tube with rubber band-like brakes to provide resistance to Bulls Eye's powers, and I'll have Bulls Eye mark it. He already scored Slims shop when we were there.
By Terrence3 years ago in Fiction
Blaster Caster
It was maybe a week after my father died that I brought the weapon home — for him. And never, even while I piloted the car to a hunting area, did it cease talking. “Drive better, son,” it barked, as I launched the car into motion. “Are you trying to get us killed, before we’ve even made it out of Ann Arbor?”
By Eric Wolf3 years ago in Fiction
Bird Poo Flu and the Pink Sombrero
No matter how many times he saw those things, he never got used to them. He blamed them for his adult-onset Tourette’s syndrome, which tended to flare up at the most inopportune times: at shops, at bars, and at job interviews. Those things — those obnoxious cranial accessories — came to represent everything that was wrong with the world. They were symbols of deception and propaganda, giant beacons of a collective aversion to critical thinking, and ubiquitous reminders of a blind compliance to authority. Those oversized, obnoxiously garish monstrosities had single-handedly transformed a once-functional member of society into an Underground Man: a venomous, misanthropic recluse. They were cumbersome. They were pink. And they housed zombie brains.
By J.C. Finnegan3 years ago in Fiction
I Want To Know Magazine
I just discovered a shocking truth. World's famous actor Bigfoot was spotted shitting inside a tree! I now ask you the reader if nobody is around to see Bigfoot shit in the woods does he really exist? Welp fellow readers, I'm here to tell you about the recent scandals of Bigfoot. As a 7 year veteran journo at I Want To Know Magazine I strive to bring to you the readers nothing but the best in tabloid journoism!
By Robert Helton3 years ago in Fiction
Granted
Like any artist, Jonah thought a lot about money. At this time of the year, forms had to be filled out, documents signed and initialed, calls made, emails sent, and even the odd fax shipped to keep his name in play and have his grant money coming in, as usual. In the early part of the new year, the first cheques would arrive, along with letters asking him to stay in touch with whatever agency provided the money. He would also make sure to note how quickly the money arrived and who seemed to be most tardy (they were usually connected to the government). He had work to do as soon as he found time for more than his art.
By Kendall Defoe 3 years ago in Fiction