Humor

Forced to join Vajra temple in the beginning (Chapter 2)
A square on one side of the mine was soon packed with people. Ningchuan, too, trotted along, panting, and stood still in the crowd.
By BUCIJIN3 years ago in Fiction
Agency of the 5th World Head Mission 1: Agents Assemble (Remix Version)
<By Jeremiah Ellison Original Plotline by Jeremiah Ellison and Nic Ellison I do not own Club Penguin, FusionFall, Pokémon, or Roblox. Each belongs to their respective owners.>
By Jeremiah Ellison3 years ago in Fiction
Army of Ants
It was summer again. Barry didn't hate the summer because of the heat, he didn't particularly enjoy how hot it would get, it wasn't what bothered him the most. It was the bugs. Summer brought out the worst bugs and insects. Anything from ants to cockroaches to an infestation of flies. Barry wasn't afraid of these insects and bugs, but he truly hated the pests because he had to deal with them. They were gross and carried plenty of diseases.
By Rick Pension3 years ago in Fiction
Story Tellers
“Now, where were we? . . . Yes, how we met. It was the summer of . . . What year did we meet Tabitha?” “I don’t know. I believe sometime in the 1900’s. It has to be in one of those years.
By Fiction3 years ago in Fiction
How the noble sheep grip saved me from certain doom.
When someone swings a baseball bat at your head most people scream, or panic, or both. They don’t think: ‘mittelhau’, ‘doesn’t know his range’ and ‘I wonder if the noble sheep grip would work’.
By Catch Tilly4 years ago in Fiction
The kind sergent
Juanita, she always loves to drag me to the movies, look to see all those war movies. There are always some very handsome guys who happen to be hit by bullets, and the location of the bullet is always very understanding, not hitting the face or something, and then they always talk about not being able to die for half a day, and must urge their comrades to help them convey their love to the girl back home before they can, and this girl usually has a serious misunderstanding with the dying soldier at the beginning of the movie, and this misunderstanding is about what the girl should wear to the school dance. Either you have to give the slow and handsome guy a lot of time to pass on the important documents he took from the enemy general to his comrades, or he has to explain well before he dies what this whole film is really about. In the meantime, there are a lot of very handsome guys, that is, those of his comrades, who have a lot of time to see this most handsome guy die. There is nothing to see next, anyway, there is a guy who happens to have a military horn on hand, and then takes his precious time to blow his funeral horn. The next picture is the dead guy's old home, the crowd may be up to a million people, including the mayor and the dead guy's parents and his girl, if you're lucky, the president will also come, anyway, everyone around the guy's coffin, speech, handing out medals, all dressed in mourning clothes look better than normal people dressed up to go to a party.
By Moxadple ggg4 years ago in Fiction
I GET IT
Wait, why am I moving? I open my eyes and sit up, where am I? Whose bed is this? Mom... Dad? Oh goodness no, they wouldn't dare? I look around and I'm standing in a tiny room with a tiny bed, tv, I guess this is the bathroom with no door and a open closet with my suitcase. My parents actually did it. They put me on this TRAIN! How could they even afford this? Man, I must of really pissed my mom off for them to have to do stoop to this level. I sit down and just start crying and rubbing my head, trying to remember what all happened.
By Tamika C 4 years ago in Fiction
If you can't beat em'...
When I wake up, I realize things aren’t quite right. First, I’m sitting in a chair, and unless I passed out at my desk while watching Nicolas Cage compilations (like last time), I’m not in my bed. Secondly, when I look around, taking in the rows of velvet chairs and darkened windows, I deduce that I am not in my house. Two very smart deductions.
By J. Jay4 years ago in Fiction
Leonard K. Cat Gets A Bad Case of the HairBalls
It was a bright sunny spring day and the therapy cats were having a meeting. ’’Attention all therapy cats as you all know I have had a bad case of the hair balls, so that’s why I created The Therapy Cats Hair Ball Ray,” said Leonard K. Cat. ’’With it I will give every living thing on earth a bad case of the hair balls, thee only problem is we need a lot of hair for it. So the therapy cats robbed every wig store and every place that sells hair ball medicine and went back to the hospital.
By Jmjulius15 Jay4 years ago in Fiction
No, I can't wear a mask
No, I can't wear a mask. No, you are misunderstanding me. I didn't say I WON'T wear a mask, I said I CAN'T wear a mask. Do you know who I am? I'm Vincent Van Gogh! Yes, THAT Vincent Van Gogh. Yes, the Impressionist.
By Phoenix Nova4 years ago in Fiction
Blazing Glory
There is nothing like attending a cremation seminar at the Olive Garden in the peak of a midlife crisis. After my 6th flyer by mail I figured it had to be a sign that this was the most definite path I could choose for my life.
By Dixon Kiddo 4 years ago in Fiction
The Neverending Curse of Stupid Questions
Throughout my life, one of my pet peeves has always been stupid questions. As often as we may be told we should be patient, "There are no stupid questions. It means someone wants to learn," it's still frustrating when someone asks you about something that's obvious, and yet you're expected to answer quickly and nicely.
By Gene Lass4 years ago in Fiction