Summer of 94
A Summer I Want to Forget
It was 1994. I had just finished my fourth year of school. I had left on a bit of a high note too. I had won the math contest and was looking forward to the holidays. Most summers we would go on a trip, however this year we were getting our house renovated. We were pretty much confined to the basement and most of the time watching TV or playing Nintendo.
I was nine, going on ten, and had no idea how upside down that summer would be. I had always been an outcast to my family. I was the last to reach milestones and at nearly 5'1, weighed only 50 pounds. I found I struggled with eating. For example, I would eat food and feel nauseaus, often throwing up the meal. My parents would scream at me and thought it was intentional. It was later diagnosed by a Gastroenterologist as being anxiety.
As the house was being painted, my family-3 siblings, myself and both parents-crammed in the basement. We only left the basement to get changed or use the bathroom. One day when I had gone to my room, while I was buck naked, my brother opened the door and hurled whatever he could at me. I, trying to cver myself up, failed to dodge the items. My brother called my two other siblings to help him torment me. They followed suit, at this time of my life they saw him as the leader. When I told my parents, they dismissed it. It was as though it was a normal thing that should have no effect on me.
Mealtimes were problematic. I struggled to keep food down. My mother would force me to eat even though my body was refusing the food. Once after I had thrown up a brownie, she forced me to eat the vomit. To this day, I despise brownies. Every now and then we would go outside for fresh air. My siblings had bikes, I did not as I struggled to balance on one. My siblings would often knock me off my feet and circle me on their bikes. They would refer to me as a low class individual.
Sometimes we would get spending money and walk to the candy store. My siblings would give me a lead, then walk a different direction to the store. While we each got an equal amount of money, my money was often stolen by them so I walked out with nothing.
Towards the middle of summer my sister-twin-got an infection in her leg which required surgery. When she went home, her IV treatments were done at home. My dad was a physician and used gravity to get the medications bin my sister. We had also been given multiple syringes and needles.
While it never showed, I had some natural intelligence. By this point, the lack of acceptance, the fear of food and how I kept throwing it up, had made me suicidal. I had made a plan to fill a syringe with a household chemical and inject it into my jugular vein. Thankfully I often doubted myself so I never did commit the act. On top of that-1994 was the year my favorite hockey team won the championship.
As mentioned, we played Nintendo, but having four people and one console, usually only two could play at a time. I was often not given a turn. My siblings if they did a stupid move on the games said-oh, we are only being useless like Sid. When we watch TV and my siblings were bored, they would chuck items at me to keep them occupied. I endured the sufferings of the summer that never was. On October 1994 I was given prescription medication to cope with the anxiety and managed to gain weight.
I found that every school year from then on, I much preferred the safety of school than to be at home.
About the Creator
Sid Aaron Hirji
Canadian born man who finds literature and science equally fascinating. Trauma bleeds through generations, words heal the hidden scars.
youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3WEyx5XeX-o8xRwG-cMlg
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Comments (22)
The details of that summer are heartbreaking no child should ever have had to endure that. Thank you for trusting readers with your truth.
Intrasting
Naice
Wow this is heart wrenching. I think it took a lot of courage to write about this stuff, I admire you for using it to make art.
The progression from small humiliations to profound emotional damage is conveyed with restrained yet impactful language. It’s a testament to your skill that the emotion feels controlled but deeply felt.
Ah Sid, we all have some of those...But looking forward is the way to go. Lock it in your memory room, to be visited only when nec. be well.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I don't know what's wrong with some people when it comes to food?! My mom had an aunt who did the same to her, and whenever we had to go over there we had to sit over the plate she packed for us because you need to finish your food. I once sat there for 9 hours cos I hated it. No wonder you felt more safe at school then at home and you want to forget this summer. Congrats on the TS though I wish you wouldn't have to live through this.
having been an extremely anxious teen, who had won a few math competitions, i relate. this was me at age 13. the only difference was i'd much rather be home anyday of the week. thanks for opening up and sharing about your hard experiences and congrats on the TS.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
That sounds so awful 😔 I want to kick the lots of them into the middle of next week!
Hi Sid - Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable. This was right from the heart of your experience. Congrats on a top story and keep writing - does wonders for the soul <3
This is so sad to read I honestly feel for your pain. ♦️♦️♦️
I’m really sorry you went through so much. You deserved kindness, not pain. I’m glad you found some support and safety in school. Congrats on your Top Story!
This broke my heart. Thank you for sharing something so painful with such honesty. You deserved safety, love, and kindness. I'm so glad you're still here and still telling your story. 🖤
Omg that’s horrible! I’m glad you got treatment, but I’m sure those emotional scars still hurt.
I love how you normalized that childhood trauma with the young boys joy of having his hockey team win!! It is incredible when 'family' becomes facing your worst enemy.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Thank you for sharing something so personal and painful with such honesty. The way you’ve written this captures the quiet devastation of that summer so vividly, and it’s heartbreaking. It’s a reminder of how invisible childhood suffering can be, even to those closest. I’m really glad you found some support eventually, and I hope writing this brought even a little healing. You deserve to be seen and heard.
This is so sad, I'm sorry that happened to you. No child should ever have to suffer like that. Sending hugs.
I thought my dysfunctional family was bad, but this is on a whole new level Sid. How awful for you. Still. your strength is so admirable, you endured and made it here to us. You are a joy to engage with. Your writing is so honest and heartfelt. Keep building from strength to strength. Many hugs and blessings on your future of sunlight and upliftment. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am glad you are still here with us, Sid. You are a gentle, creative, and intelligent soul. I enjoy reading what you write. I appreciate your unassuming down to earth writing style.
Omggg Sid, did everything you write here actually happen to you??? At first I didn't know it was you in the story. You then mentioned twin and I started thinking. Then my suspicions were confirmed when you mentioned your name. My heart breaks so much for you 😭😭😭😭😭