Show Me How to Love

When you hear the words I love you, what comes to mind? For me, of course in my opinion, the words I love you are meaningless unless proven otherwise with actions. If their actions don’t match up to their words then what will you believe? I was quite young, around the age of 15, when this question first came up to my mind especially living in the type of family situation for all of my childhood. I had picked up and noticed how, in many occasions, someone would say I love you but then you turn around and they would hit you with something that you could never guess would ever be used to hit someone. So most times when I would hear the words I love you, I knew that right behind that I would get punished for something I didn’t do. They would come home at night after a day of work and my first question would be are they angry?

Why would a young child of 5 or 6 have to ask themselves if they’re angry? Simple, the type of family they were born in. Now I’m not saying that in every household this situation is the same, it isn’t. This is just my experience coming from that background. I let those things happen because I wasn’t strong enough to protect myself. I would ask myself, do they really love you? Do they truly think of you as their own? I remember those nights when I would sit and cry on my bed after they would come home in a rage ready to take it out on someone. I would hide my sisters in our room and wait for the screaming and yelling to stop before I stepped foot outside. Sometimes I would be unfortunate enough to be on the other side of those words, you’re useless, worthless, you’ll amount to anything and that would stick. In my head I heard those words repeated over and over again, until that’s all I saw, all I heard. No matter how much physical pain I felt, those words inflicted more pain in me than I would of ever imagined. Now would you believe if someone told you I love you?

Having experienced that throughout my life was an eye opener. I never learned to trust, but when I did, I was always let down. There is goes again, you’re useless, worthless, you’ll never amount to anything. Tears spilled more frequently than not until I ran out of water to spill. Every time I heard words fall out of their mouths, they were empty. No emotion, no truth, no reality. When people would speak to me their words had no meaning because of the look in their eyes and how they judged me like I was nothing but trash in their way. So when I heard I love you’s they meant nothing, empty words just like empty promises. As I got older of course words kept being the same and eyes never changed. I’ve learned to read into emotions, actions, pinpoint the real meaning behind their words. I’ve taken care of myself so that others won’t have to. That’s what made me who I am today. I’m not the only one who has been through this, and I’m certainly not the last one either. Have open ears and open hearts, listen to the silent cries that seep out in every moment of their lives.

“That was quite a story, how long did all that last?” her eyes shining in curiosity as she egged Melanie on to speak more of her experience. With a curt smile she proceeded with a nod. “Well, it lasted until I turned 16, after that I rarely talked and didn’t really entertain them with my reactions. I went to school, hung out with my so called friends and then went home straight to my room. Normally I rarely spoke to them only curt responses to their questions.”

“Why didn’t you run away?” the interviewer just sat there with her hands clenched together in front of her as she waited for the responses from Melanie. “I wanted to, so badly. I honestly never left because financially I was to scared to be on my own. For me, if I had ran away I would have cut all ties to them. So financially it was my only choice. Then I turned 18 and started to work. At that time I was told to help with paying the bills and slowly they were placed on me entirely. I was pretty much coaxed into staying for as long as I did.” she nodded and continued her question “When did you decide to leave?”

“Actually, all the way up to now they’ve stayed with me. 4 years ago I bought my house and they moved in behind me. Since our childhood we’ve made peace with how we were raised and the things we’ve been through. I don’t hold any resentment and we live peacefully now. I’m mostly on the road so I rarely see them but when I do we have quality family time.” the blonde smiled “That’s very sweet of you, I’m happy you were able to find your peace. So romantically, is that something that has happened in your life?” Melanie laughed “I was wondering when that question was going to come up. My love life has actually been getting better. There’s some ups and downs but over all quite interesting.” a shocked look graced the interviewers face “Please do tell. We’re all quite interested in hearing about your adventures.” Melanie gave a small smile and nodded.

“It’s not much, I’ve only had two past relationships they ended pretty quickly because we could never see emotionally eye to eye. There was one that wanted to much from me, and there was one that wanted very little. In the end, I ended with neither. Now, just when I had made peace with living alone and just focusing on my career, he showed up.” “I see, so are we allowed to meet the one who has melted the Ice Princess’ heart?” “I’ve never understood how that nickname came to be. I would love to out my relationship, but that needs to be discussed by us. Later on I will be able to out it but for right now there’s no hurry.”

“Aww, well I wish you two all the best and we’re actually coming to a close but one last question tell us how was it that you two met? We understand not being able to tell us who he is but how about a how?” Melanie let out another laugh and conceded

“Okay, okay, I’ll give a short detail how we met.” She adjusted herself in her seat to give her more comfortability. Smiling back at her interviewer she thought back to the moment that she met him.

“So this all happened a few months ago actually. I was at that time out of the country doing a series of projects. At that time I was working on a series and a movie. I had done most of my to do list and was heading to my hotel room when I had stopped by the last company that I had to visit before my day was over. I walked in and there’s people running around and just busy with their work. So as I was walking in he was walking out and we bumped into each other. Of course I recognized him but he obviously didn’t know me. At least that’s what I thought. We excuse ourselves and go our merry way. Well the company that wanted to work with me had asked me about the project they had in mind. I agreed to the project and they introduced me to the ‘actors’.”

She paused and looked behind the interviewer. He was standing there, with a smile on his face as he reminisced to the day where they had met, the day that had ignited the love that he feels towards Melanie. She smiled and looked back at the person in front of her. “They walk in and there walks in the one person I would never have thought to work with ever, at least in this lifetime.” Melanie looks back towards him standing on the sidelines with a smile still adorning his face “That day I met the man who would show me how to love.”