Blue Green Goodbyes

I can’t see anything in this dark.

There’s white light from the window.

I can’t see it. My eyes are open but this dark is so black it’s making me blind.

What were you saying?

I don’t know who I am.

Neither do I.

I live in a dream world.

So do I.

Your blue voice is deafening. Why do I always have to hear things in color? Can colors talk? Is that a strange thing to experience? Your blue voice sounds like the ocean and feels like the sky. Can I feel colors too? I don’t mind. I just don’t understand.

I’m so sorry.

So am I.

Everybody’s leaving.

Don’t leave me.

I’m tired.

So am I.

I never wanted to make you cry.

It’s OK. You’re not making me cry. We’re just talking. Just talking about the ocean and the sky and our favorite colors.

What is your favorite color?

Green.

You love the color green? Is my voice green to you?

Green like the grass and the tallest trees that reach up to my blue sky. Green like the ocean in torment, on the stormiest day, stretching out to the farthest horizon and reaching back to the weedy shores. Green like the freshest air and the coldest water, forcing us to hold our breath so we don’t drown in all of its beauty.

Why do we breathe? Can colors hurt and cry and breathe? Can colors drown? No. I’m just tired. I’m tired of breathing.

Don’t leave me.

I should have left you alone.

I don’t want to be alone.

It feels so thick in here. It’s getting darker I think. The ocean doesn’t turn green during a storm anyway. The sky turns green, but the ocean goes grey. Or silver even. The silver can flash so bright it will burn your eyes. Blind you just the same as the blackness can. Toss us around in the waves and the wind until it pulls us down and under the water. Drowns us in all of its violence instead of its beauty. Did you know that the wind can be so strong it takes your breath away? You’ll go under already not breathing. Does breathing make you tired? If I stop breathing will I stop being tired?

What are you saying?

What is that noise? What am I seeing? That flash of silver is so bright it’s burning my eyes. Hello? Your green-black voice is ringing through my head. Do you hear it? Hello? I’m still in the room you know. I can see your words falling through the darkness. It’s a crazy bright green light mixing with my bright blue words. Can you see it? Hello?

Why are you so quiet? Answer me. It’s getting dark again.

Talk to me. Tell me you see it.

Tell me why these colors are mixing around in the black. Tell me why I am not tired anymore. Tell me why everything is red. Please?

Please?

Talk to me. I can’t see anything in this dark.