Screamland part 6

Kedamono leaves the building in bout of fury. He’s angry but mainly he’s heartbroken; and by kicking a large rock nearby the building, he hurts his foot.

“Damnit!” He yells.

He realizes that, at this point, the real reason he wanted to set up a nice room for Popee like that. And why holding his hand earlier felt so nice.

And how absolutely heart wrenching it was between them when it all fell apart. He doesn’t say it out loud. He refuses to acknowledge it truly in his mind. But, deep down, he knows why and it feels like death to know it is over.

He thinks about how he felt so naturally accepted by Papi and Popee when he first came to the circus. How he was constantly worried about his true identity being revealed, but how in the end, he felt like he could, more often than not, be a real part of their family circus and contribute as much as anyone could. How around Popee, he could always just be himself. It was as though he was already accepted for who he was without explanation.

Popee was jealous at times when he couldn’t get tricks right and he could do it effortlessly. Sometimes his anger got the better of him and Kedamono was the unfortunate target of this ire.

He used to feel swept up in Popee’s torrent of emotions in the beginning, like a crazy tornado. This was always something he thought he could handle, as even when the tornado settled and the mess was cleaned up, he felt like though he was shaken up, he knew Popee cared in the end. The end result of peace wasn’t always the case, as even unintentionally (or sometimes not), he’d get hurt from his friend’s whipping whirlwind of immaturity and lack of coping skills. Still, he always saw the good in his friend. Even when it didn’t make sense.

He saw it even more after they left Papi and the circus. How growing together in this new town, working and studying, cooking and dancing together and laughing—-

Kedamono feels nauseous.

He walks to a diner to sit and recollect his thoughts, and walking in, he hears a cover of Patsy Cline’s, I Fall To Pieces on the speakers. He runs to go throw up in the public bathroom. But, mainly, it’s to cry.

***

Popee sadly picks up all the stuff he purchased off the floor. He knows it was all his fault; his irrational side wants to blame his friend. He quickly realizes just how badly things got out of hand looking at their transformed home —-it makes him feel miserable thinking how much time and effort and work Kedamono put into doing all of this.

After he cleans up, he really stops and takes a look around their boarding room.

He sees little things. Little details.

Little tiny bits of love Kedamono put into their first home here.

A new bookshelf with all of Popee’s books put on the shelves neatly and in an organized fashion. A few pictures hung up on the wall of some tasteful art(landscapes mostly). The coffee table that had their new dishes on it with coasters. Cloth napkins.

And the bed with the new clothes on it, and accessories for his hair. New pants, new shirts, and a black and white kimono.

He knew Kedamono was right—-he was pushing him away.

But only because it was the right thing to do.

He knew he was a disaster waiting to strike at any moment. He didn’t want to hurt his naive yet beautiful and very selfless friend anymore.

He decides to take off, and packs up a bag of his old stuff, leaving behind a pristine home untouched by his usual whirling devastation.

****