Getting out of the house can be hard

"Come on Jack, wake up. It's 7:30 already. You'll be late. Don't you wanna have breakfast?"

"Mmmmm."

"Yeah I know, you probably stayed up till 2 again, playing that stupid game. Whatever, you're not 12 anymore. You do you. But don't say I didn't try when they kick you out of school for too many missed classes."

"Mhm."

"Good morning, Sophie! How did you sleep?"

"Good daddy, I had such a crazy dream! There was this frog I was following, it went deeper and deeper into the forest and I could barely see". Then it stopped at a clearing and there was a huge crowd of frogs, all facing a stage. And the frog I was following passed through the whole crowd, went up on stage and then an old frog appeared and it was clear that he was very wise and he held up a crown and said 'Your time has come' and put the crown on his head and then the whole crowd made squeaking noises and it seemed like everyone was happy. But then suddenly they all got uneasy and moved around weirdly and that's when the snakes came out of the trees and they were so quick and agile, they swallowed frog after frog. It was terrible! But then an army of playing cards on legs arrived -"

"- Ok honey, it sounds like you had a wild dream, but it's getting a bit late. Eat your cereals so we can get ready to go."

"Mm, ok daddy."

"Oh look who's there! He rose and shone, like Jesus from his grave!"

"Ha-ha. Where's coffee?"

"There's none. Mum's in the shower. She hasn't made any yet."

"Oh fuck that. Call me again when coffee's ready."

"Daddy, what does 'fuck' mean?"

"Jack, you're not going back to bed now! You know it's way too late."

"I don't care. Without coffee I'm not doing anything."

"Oh Sophie honey, not on the shirt!"

"Upsie."

"Ok, go, get changed. Put on another shirt, that yellow one maybe. It would go well with your pants. But hurry! And Jack - damn it, sit down, I'll make coffee. Don't you dare going back to bed."

"Ok, sir. Whatever you command."

"Gooooood morninggggg everyone! What a beautiful day, isn't it? Have you heard the birds?"

"Jesus, why do you have to be such a morning person mum?"

"Good morning sweetie. Can you check on Sophie? She poured milk all over her shirt and is getting changed, please just make sure she's not daydreaming."

"Oh, I will, but first give me a kiss!"

"Gross."

"You too Jack!"

"Argh, stay away mum. Leave me in peace. Is coffee ready?"

"In a minute Jack. And be kind to your mum."

"Sophie honey, what on Earth are you doing?"

"I didn't like the way the shirt fit, mum. So I changed it a bit."

"Honey you can't just take scissors and cut off whatever you feel like!"

"Why not mum? Don't you do the same?"

"Mmm, yeah right. Nevermind. Actually you can do that. I don't know why I said that. But come on now, we need to get moving."

"Dad, the coffee is gross."

"Stop f... stop complaining Jack! You don't move a damn finger. And your mum usually makes coffee, I don't drink any so naturally I'm not a master barista. If you want coffee, learn to make it yourself! You're not 12 anymore!"

"Right. Whatever."

"HARRY! THE NEWSPAPER!"

"Well yes honey it's interesting today, but not thaaat interesting."

"NO, LOOK! IT'S BURNING!"

"Oh fuck fuck fuck. Uh, sorry, you didn't hear that kids."

"What does 'fuck' mean mommy?"

"GET SOME WATER!"

"Ufff, ok that did it. How on Earth did the newspaper catch fire?"

"I suspect it has to do with your coffeemaking skills, dad. Don't leave the newspaper on the heated stove."

"Damn it Jack, I guess you're right... Sophie sweetie, what happened to your left sleeve?"

"I cut it off."

"Why?"

"I didn't like how it fit."

"And the right one?"

"That one's ok daddy. I think my left arm's stronger so that's why it was uncomfortable."

"...Ok, alright. No time to change again. You'll see how you like it in school dressed like this..."

"Oh it doesn't matter daddy. My clothes don't change school. It's boring anyways. Except art class. Ms Humfield is so fun, daddy!"

"Ok, ok come on kids. Move it, let's go."

"Harry."

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Do you plan to go to the office in underwear?"

"God fucking damn it!"

"Mommy, what does 'fucking damn it' mean?"

"Honey, just get in the car already while your dad puts some pants on."

"Hahaha. Dad all stressing around but forgets his pants. That's great."

"Shut up Jack! Anyone can forget their pants. Get in the car."

"Ok, got them. I'm ready for a morning run-through of the 80s greatest hits! The show will start in the car! Who's with me?"

"Yeah whatever dad. I have my earphones. Existential protection."

"I'm ready daddy! Can we sing 'Don't stop believing'"?

"Yes, that seems fitting. Let's rock!"

"Ok dad just one more thing: could it be that you put your pants on the wrong way?"