Screamland part 5

Popee is trying not to cry. His heart feels like a rock tumbling around in his chest.

His chest is racked by guilt, fear, apprehensive, excitement and the worst most potent feeling of all:

Absolute, immeasurable happiness.

Real happiness.

And it terrifies him.

But even as he sees the heartbreak in his dear friend’s eyes, he can’t speak. He sees the room transformed into something wonderful, with new furniture and everything being spotless, and it makes him feel so much at once.

He remembered the conversation they had as they were heading into this town, how everything was so uncertain and precarious.

“I think we are lost,” Kedamono sighed, tired. He leaned a bit on Popee’s arm for support, as his legs were getting weak from all the walking.

Popee rolled his eyes. “Duh. We’ve been lost since we left. The only thing I had to go on was direction from Marifa to keep heading east until we found this supposed town she knew of.”

“Your little sister is a bit …” Kedamono bites his tongue as Popee shoots him a warning glare.

“A bit what?”

“She’s sneaky. Maybe she was fooling us.”

“No. She wouldn’t,” Popee says, looking at his compass. Kedamono rolls his eyes, knowing how manipulative Popee’s sister actually was and how Popee was blinded by love. Popee continues, “Anyway, I’m not going back. I’m never going back.”

“But, Popee, didn’t you love the circus? We had fun times there…”

“I don’t have time…” The tall blonde man started. He cleared his throat and looked at his shorter purple haired companion.

Both sets of eyes met. One was a never ending pile of highly expressive masks tumbling upon each other. The other, markedly deep blue eyes that pierced anyone that dared to stare too long at them.

“Don’t have time for what, Popee?”

“I… Keda… I don’t don’t think the world has time to deal with fantasy anymore. No one cares about the circus anymore. No one has time for fun. For magic. It’s gone. The magic is gone.”

“You used to care.”

Popee is drained thinking of their beginnings here in this boarding room. How poor they were. How poor he was growing up. How he used to sleep outside most of his life. And especially thinking of when they had to leave the circus—all of it compounded into a silent panic attack that felt too intense to stop.

“Popee? What’s wrong? Please talk to me.”

Popee hearing Kedamono’s clearly emotional plea finally grounds him back to reality. He sees Kedamono looking at him with a mixture of anxiety and sadness, all the items he had purchased on the floor, and the surprise his best friend had so carefully set up—-ruined.

Finally, he breaks down, and cries.

“I’m… I’m not a stupid kid anymore, Kedamono. I can take care of myself. Stop wasting your money. You should just go. You’re better off without me. You—-you’re better than me,” Tears are streaming down. “You’ve… always been better than me.”

“That’s not true.”

“You know it’s true!” Popee yells.

“Popee, what did I do wrong? I just wanted to surprise you!” Kedamono says in a loud whisper, his face heating up.

“Why? Why do you have to be so nice to me?” Popee cries softly. “I’ve done nothing for you. You work and work. I do nothing but laze about. This—-this!” He points to the furniture. “What is this, Keda? I do nothing but destroy. I almost destroyed your life, so many times at Wolf Zirkus! Your job! Your whole future! And you just forgive me over and over. Why?”

Kedamono says nothing, giving Popee a confused and estranged expression at some points, his heart pounding violently in his chest. He starts anxiously picking up all the shopping bags from Popee’s shopping trip on the floor. He is wondering about the fact that Popee said he almost destroyed his job, unsure about what that meant or what Popee was referring to.

Popee moves in and moves his arm in between the bags and Kedamono.

“Don’t clean up my mess!”

“Grow up already!” Kedamono yells suddenly, slamming his open palm on the floor. He stands up. “What is wrong with you?”

“You’re what’s wrong with me!”

As soon as he said it, Popee instantly regretted it.

Kedamono sighs. “Damn. You really haven’t changed. Have you? I thought we could make this work. I really lov—enjoyed living with you. Watching you plan your robot and study and learn. I thought…. you were actually turning into a decent person. You keep pushing people away. People who really care about you.” He shakes his head and laughs sadly. “I’m stupid. I admit that. I really am. But, Popee, you are blind.”

He gives Popee a hard stare and with that, turns and leaves through the front door, closing it softly in a whisper of wood and steel.