Not With A Bang

The earth has died. Not for us. If we were on the dark side. that wouldn't make a lick of difference. we would simply be alone and scared. and in this case scared wasn't even a bit of a stretch. I know what I’m missing. My compass. My reason. The tides in my life no longer pointed north. I am wandering. We are all wandering. because when your whole life is falling apart a little change of scene isn't enough to wake you from a bad dream. and when you're already in bed there is no walking away.

At least it was gradual. The spinning (we come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust) slowed just enough each day that we still might have a chance at survival. Not all of us; millions died as the days lengthened. Millions more died as the night never retreated. It’s said to be terrifying dark and cold on the other side and those unlucky enough to be stuck there the day the Earth stopped were nothing more than the walking dead. We were lucky, we were told, to be on the Sun side, no matter how blistering hot the days were, no matter how long the days stretched.

Many buildings collapsed all around the globe; the slowing was gradual enough to allow us to live, but not slow enough to keep right the looming statues of Capitalism (it’s not the greatest loss in life, no way baby). The news stopped shortly after and we were left with rumors about what it was like elsewhere.

If you were lucky enough to evade the military as it locked down movement, like I was, you learned quickly to travel alone. There was no one to trust and no one would trust you. Less is more in times like this. It’s so hot and the Sun never sets and we’re all out here for ourselves. The norms of the new world are hardly recognizable. As each stage of human conditioning comes to an end, the modern world is relegated to a species of victims - those who have suffered the worst of times are now the willing guardians of the police state, faced with the reality of a world gone awry and little control over anything. We all know how the story ends, of course.

I was never much of an extrovert anyhow in the best of times, so moving light and alone is fine by me. I need to get to Alpha Base, if it existed, sooner rather than later and no having someone dragging me down will help me get there sooner.

Or so I thought. (if it exists) (the world will end)

The world has ended, but sometimes it’s good to remember there are still people on this earth. Even if you're not a believer, just having a conversation with someone is good for you. I found him sitting on the stoop of a sagging general store, trying to shield himself from the Sun as he re-tied his shoe. He was heading to Alpha Base, too, if it existed. He had traveled all the way from Guatemala, which was amazing considering how quickly the United States has locked down the country and movement of its citizens. I was only lucky because I knew about the tunnels beneath the countryside. (given that there are so many different zones) (if it exists) Once I realized no one was there for our best interest, I left. I stayed longer than I should have, but I was worried. I was scared.

I asked him how he heard of Alpha Base. Same as me, he said. Shortwave radio. (the world will end) Rumors spreading far and wide even as the news ended and the military locked down cities. The one area left on this Earth that would support long term human life. It would be a short-term solution, because eventually the zone would move to the poles where the world was drowned. We would be out of luck then. What would be do when the Sun moved to night and the night turned to day for months? No one knew. We’d figure it all out when we got to Alpha Base, if it existed.

He knew a little English, I knew a little Spanish, so we could hold a decent enough conversation. (you’ve got a friend in me) His mother and grandmother died not long after the world stopped and his father disappeared shortly after. He wore a gold locket around his neck and he showed me happily what was inside. A picture of his mother and father. It had been worn by his mother, he said, and he pulled it from her dead body when he found her on the rubble of their collapsed apartment building. He was only 10, small and wily. He escaped not one but two military roundups as he traveled north. He was hoping to find his dad at Alpha Base, if it existed, because he was sure that’s where his father was. And once he found his father, things would be ok. Dad was the one who told him about Alpha Base, if it existed. He had to be there. I hoped he was.

Soon we’ll be more exposed, nowhere to hide when we need to rest. (the world will end) The Sun is in control now. It gave us life, it gives us death. There won’t be much time to rest anyway; water is drying up faster each day. We follow the river but it recedes the closer we get. He asked me what would happen if the water all left. I know but I won’t answer.

Crawling away from your own things, things you liked to touch. The walls left behind us. Not long now. This is how we die. This is how we end. I hope it’s the fast route. (the need for speed) (i’m fixin’ to do it in style) (if you can handle it, I got a new car) and not a red one! (i’m ready to hit the highway) (my friends are waiting for me) I guess we’ll know when we’re done.