In for a Pennie

Alright, gang, soup’s on!

Soup? I thought we ordered pizza?

That’s what I heard.

It’s a figure of speech, an expression.

Okay, so then… pizza’s on?

Yes, pizza’s on. Everyone, come to the table! How many we got?

Eight.

And Chloe.

Eight adults, one 7-year-old.

Can Chloe eat pizza?

Can Chloe eat pizza? Yes Chloe can eat pizza.

Well I just didn’t know because of her, um…

Her what?

Her deaf and mute… ness.

She can’t speak. She can eat. And she loves pizza.

How would you know?

What kid wouldn’t love pizza?

Guys, come on, while it’s hot and fresh.

Alright, head count. I spy eight adults, less one Chloe.

Chloe! Come on over!

What the hell is wrong with you, Dean?

What?

She’s deaf. You idiot.

Oh riiiight, right right.

She’ll come when she’s hungry.

You guys… Just, get started without me, I’ll go find her. She won’t have gone very far.

She out of earshot?

Who, Kumi or Chloe?

Dean! Chloe is deaf! Are you also deaf?

Riiight, right right. Sorry guys, it’s just… I’m still not used to it.

Okay, so while Kumi’s getting Chloe, let’s set some Ground Rules. We’re all here?

Well, obviously minus Kumi and Chloe.

Great, let’s get started.

Wait, don’t we want to wait for her to get back? This is kind of her decision, too, right? It’s mostly her decision.

It can’t mostly be her decision because we’re a group, no ringleaders here. We have to put it to a vote.

Well I’m just saying, it’s mostly going to affect her, right?

It’s going to affect all of us, Johnnie.

But what I’m saying is–

We know what you’re saying. And no. It’s mostly going to affect Chloe.

Everyone, you’re derailing my thought here.

No ringleaders.

Ground rules.

YES! Ground Rules. All of that chatter just now? That’s why we need them.

But that’s why we need to wait for Kumi… to be part of this, no?

The Ground Rules are about Kumi.

Huh?

What do you mean? Why?

Guys, listen……. She’s too close to this. To Chloe. We have to… divorce ourselves from emotion. And marry ourselves to logic.

What kind of robo-speak is that?

We have to remain impassionate, okay? We all love Chloe–

I’d say I’m fond of her.

Jesus, Mel.

What?

We all care about Chloe, in our own ways. But we have a very important decision to make for her, and Kumi, well….. They’re too close. She wouldn’t be able to remain… unbiased.

But I mean, that’s good right? Chloe deserves an advocate, Kumi is best suited for that.

See that’s what I mean; Chloe shouldn’t have an advocate because, as previously stated, we’re a group - group decisions, group consequences.

All for one, one for all kinda thing, right?

Yes, Dean, that kinda thing.

Call me D’artagnan.

Kumi is going to get riled up, as she should, as you’d expect, because they’re close. But we, as a group, must remain focused. What we decide tonight is going to decide Chloe’s future, and ours as well. There’s no room for faint hearts here.

Hey hey guys, sorry to keep you waiting! Glad to see you dug in already. Chloe, why don’t you sit next to Uncle Dean over there–

Uh, actually, why don’t you have Chloe sit over there, and you can take this seat next to me, Kumi?

Why? You afraid Chloe has cooties?

Fine fine, just let her sit here.

Chloe, go ahead and sit over there, sweetie.

Welcome back, Kumes.

Oh my goodness, Chloe found this cat outside, and I could swear it looked exactly like my own cat who went missing when I was in high school. And I was just staring at this cat, and there she was, staring right back at me. And for a moment I thought, Pennie? Is that you? The way she watched me… And Chloe, she’s so gentle, she just reached her hand out toward this cat, and she came walking over, so trusting, so sweet, and nuzzled right up against Chloe. Honestly, it could’ve been Pennie. That would make her… 21 years old. Hittin’ the bars now! I wonder if Chloe had ever owned a pet before she found her way here. She was sooo gentle with Pennie, you guys.

Ok.

You named the stray?

What? No, why would I do that?

You just said Chloe was gentle with Pennie, the cat you had lost in high school.

No I didn’t lose Pennie, she went missing.

But you called the stray cat, Pennie.

Did I?

Guys? Pizza’s getting cold here.

Oh right, sorry! Yes anyway, that’s why Chloe and I took so long.

Right. Okay.

Did she at least wash her hands?

Did you, Mel?

Well I’m just saying, she’s sticking her hands in the pizza - the group pizza - like she’s doing right now, it would just be nice to know that her hands are clean, is all I’m saying. Unless you guys are all cool topping your pepperoni with dander and stray cat shit.

Hey, come on, language.

She’s deaf, Kumi, remember? You sure seem to know that better than any of us.

What does that mean?

Nothing, just… Let’s get on with it.

No, what are you saying?

Just eat your pizza.

No. What are you trying to say, Mel? That I’m negligent? Chloe washed her hands. Maybe you should wash your mouth.

What the fuck guys?

Language!

She’s. Fucking. Deaf!

She reads lips, you –

Everyone. Stop. Calm down. Okay? Just, cool it.

Sorry, guys. Mel, I get it. Her hands are clean. I promise.

How are we supposed to have a meaningful discussion if every five seconds we have to correct our language or watch what we say around her?

Actually, fair point, and I’m glad you reminded me. Hang on a sec. No more discussion until I get back.

Chloe? How is the pizza? Do you like it?

She’s eating it, isn’t she?

Yes, she likes it.

Dean, would you please hand Chloe a napkin?

Uhh, yeah, of course. Here you go, Chloe.

What have you got there, Jen?

What’s in the box?! What’s in the box?!

Oh GAWD… don’t.

My paranoia during COVID hit a high, I’ve got boxes and boxes of these.

N95 masks?

Just stacked.

Why are you bringing them here? Someone sick at the table?

Oh gross, go over there, would you?

No no no. You guys just reminded me - Chloe can’t hear what we’re saying, but she can still read lips, apparently. I don’t know if she understands curse words, but I think we should have our discussion while wearing these.

You want us to wear these during dinner?

You can pull it down while you’re eating, but otherwise, for the duration of our discussion, I think we should keep our mouths covered.

That’s kinda… Isn’t that kind of messed up?

Is what messed up, Kumi?

You’re saying we should sit here and talk about Chloe, right in front of her, with masks on, specifically so she doesn’t know what we’re saying?

Yes, that’s right. Kumi, it’s the best way for us to –

Why can’t Chloe know what we’re saying? She deserves to know. This is about her.

Yes, you’re right, she deserves to know, and we will tell her all about it after we’ve decided. But first we need to get to that point, and if you’re stopping conversation to make sure Chloe is comfortable with what everyone is saying then we’re never going to get to that point.

Just seems a bit inhumane.

She’s not your cat, Kumi. We’re not debating euthanasia for her.

I didn’t euthanize my cat, Mel. Pennie went missing.

She ran away.

She went outside and didn’t come home.

She ran away.

Guys, again, derailing. Just, here. Take a mask, mask up, then let’s get to it.

This is ridiculous.

I feel ridiculous.

I agree with Kumi, I don’t want to wear a mask.

Well neither do I, Mel, but clearly we need to because we’re not getting anywhere at this rate.

Okay, Jen, no ringleaders Jen, I’ll put the mask on if it makes you feel better, Jen.

It’s not for me, Mel. And thank you, I appreciate it.

There. See? Masked up.

Muffled up too.

It’s a little hard to hear.

It’s fine.

Just speak louder.

And enunciate.

I’m trying to eat pizza and have a loaded adult conversation while wearing a surgical mask at a table full of weirdos and a deaf-mute 7-year-old. This is truly my Hell.

Good for you.

And fuck you too.

Okay, great. SO! Chloe.

Wait. Everyone, I mean… I don’t know. Maybe tonight’s not the night.

Kumi, dammit… We’re doing this. Tonight. You can’t keep kicking the can down the road forever.

Yeah but, here she is, she’s probably having pizza for the first time in her life, she’s the happiest she’s likely ever been, surrounded by all of us, and we’re supposed to just… tear that away? Right now?

You can’t think of it like that. She just… She doesn’t belong with us.

Of course she does! She’s one of us.

No, she’s not. She’s been a foster for what? 6 months?

5 months.

And a half.

Half a year.

She’s not a foster, there’s no system in place for her. She’s just… lost. Haven’t you ever been lost?

It sounds an awful lot like kidnapping to me.

She’s not some lost child, she’s a straggler.

Hey. Don’t. She was lost and she’s found a home. With us.

This isn’t her home, Kumi. Look, we all love her –

I’d say I’m more fond of –

We all care about her, Kumi.

Do we?

Do you?

She can’t stay.

Just like that? What happened to the discussion? Because it sounds like you’ve made up your mind already, Jen. You’re speaking for everyone else here?

Well, Kumi, I agree with Jen though.

I know you do, Mel, it’s been clear this entire time.

Yeah, well, now you don’t have to rely on what’s clear because I’m telling you to your face right here and now - I don’t want her to stay here with us.

Okay fine, thank you for clearing that up for me, Mel.

You’re welcome, Kumi.

And all the rest of you? Have you also decided that Chloe suddenly doesn’t belong with us?

Nothing sudden about it, Kumes. She’s never belonged with us. Look at us. What are we? We’re just a group of maladjusted waste-oids who happen to live together. Where does a deaf-mute 7-year-old child fit into any of this? We can’t take care of her.

Sure we can. We have been.

How, Kumi? Feeding and clothing a child is not the same as taking care of her.

Of course it is.

We should have turned her over to the police or someone the moment we found her. The moment we found her.

That ship’s sailed though, hasn’t it?

Yes, Dean, it has. Kumi, we’re going to get into big trouble if we keep holding her here.

Did you get an Amber Alert? Did any of you see any Missing Child posters? Bulletins? News reports? No. They abandoned her. And now we’re talking about doing the same.

Who’s they?

Her parents. Or caretakers. Previous fosters. I don’t know. But clearly nobody is looking for her. Doesn’t that break your heart?

We’re not going to abandon her, Kumi. We’ll just put her back where we found her.

What the fuck, Jen? She’s not a missing pair of sunglasses or something.

Sunglasses?

I don’t know! But we can’t just put her back where we found her. Listen to yourself.

Everyone, for what it’s worth, I like having Chloe around. She’s good company.

I appreciate that, Johnnie, but it’s not about having her around. She’s not some lost pup or something. She isn’t a pet to keep us all company.

Kumi, what happens if she has a medical emergency? Or fuck it, even standard care? She has no identification, no papers, nothing. How can you care for her and provide her with the necessary medical or dental care if we can’t prove who she even is?

I… I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about that yet.

Pretty negligent, Kumi.

We all are.

Okay, well, that’s why we’re talking about this now.

No. No, that’s not why we’re talking about this now. Don’t pretend like this has anything to do with the lot of you looking after Chloe’s well-being. You’re just tired of all the trouble.

Frankly, yes. We are.

I’m not.

Thank you Johnnie. But for real, I know all of you don’t care about her.

Hey. Hey. Watch it. We’re not monsters, Kumi, okay? You’re not the only one who has a heart, or soul, or cares about Chloe, alright?

Yeah, Kumi. We’re realists. And this is the reality - none of us, yourself included - can take care of a sick child.

She isn’t sick, you asshole.

Fine. Fair. A deaf-mute child.

A child.

Kumi… You’re too close to this.

As should all of you be!

What even was that sentence?

I don’t know but I’m just getting flustered! It’s like you’ve all conspired to suddenly get rid of Chloe, who you’ve all been happy to have with us for the last 6 months until now. What changed?

Honestly?

Yes, honestly. Why now?

You, Kumi. You’ve changed.

…what? What do you mean?

You’re too attached to her. We all agreed to take her in until we could figure out where she belongs. But you kept dragging it out.

She belongs with us.

No, you’re too… emotional.

Well yes fucking right I am!! What else should I be?

See? You can’t see reason. You can’t take care of a child with special needs if you’re unable to logically, reasonably figure out her future for her.

We don’t need to figure out her future for her, we’re not fucking handlers. We’re her family. The only family she’s got. She’ll figure out her future for herself, and we can be there to guide her.

She’s not ours to guide, or be family for, Kumi.

This is going in circles. You’re short-circuiting, Kumi.

Now what?

She’s crying.

Kumi? For fuck's sake.

I’m sorry, I just… I’m not ready for this.

Fucking crying though?

YES. You fucking monster! I am CRYING! Does it matter?

We were supposed to have a meaningful discussion tonight, and you’re slobbering everywhere.

Jen, you were right about those Ground Rules.

What Ground Rules?

Nothing.

What Ground Rules?

Kumi, I just knew this would happen. Yeah, you, getting emotional, not listening to reason, to us, your friends, your actual family.

You talk about it like we’re trading baseball cards. Look at her. Does she look like she’s up for trade?

This is going nowhere. And frankly it doesn’t really matter. We’re putting it to a vote tonight. This discussion was for your benefit Kumi, to get you to turn around and see things the way we see it. But it’s going to be your one vote against us seven. This was always going to happen, we just needed to figure out when.

Kumi, what are you doing?

Are you signing?

You’re fucking signing to Chloe?

When did you learn sign language?

What is she saying?

I don’t know, I can’t read sign language.

Kumi, what are you saying to Chloe?

Fuck it, let’s put it to a vote.

Right now?

That’s what we’re here for.

Oh god, uh… Okay. Damn, really? Right now?

Yes, Johnnie. Dean, Mel, Christie, Don, Alberto, me. Kumi.

She’s still signing.

She seems to be saying a lot to Chloe.

Guys. Pay attention.

Kumi, are you listening? We’re going to vote now.

She’s not. She’s just flashing her hands to Chloe.

Does Chloe even understand?

Obviously she does, she’s nodding along to Kumi, right?

But does Chloe understand?

I don’t know, Johnnie. You wanna ask her?

I wouldn’t even know how.

Kumi, okay. We’re voting now. I know you can hear us, you can see us. If you want to vote with us then vote with us, but I think we know what the outcome is going to be.

Oh Jesus. Okay, yeah. Let’s do it.

She’s signing a lot slower now.

Oh, so Chloe does know sign language too.

I guess so.

What are they saying?

For the last time, nobody knows, okay? Let’s just do this.

Fuck. FUCK. Okay, yeah, I’m ready.

Alright. All in favor of kicking Chloe out–

Wait. Do we really want to word it like that?

Oh god, Johnnie.

I mean, words matter, and how we use them, right?

Okay?

How about: All in favor of letting Chloe stay?

That sounds even worse.

Does it?

Kumi, where are you going?

Kumi?

Chloe, where are you going?

Mask, Dean, remember?

Oh right.

Kumi, where are you taking Chloe?

Kumi, you can’t just–

Let her go.

We’re voting.

All in favor of letting go–

Chloe? Sweetie? Are you okay?

Chloe… We’re going away, okay?

Yes, you and me. Together.

I can buy you new clothes, toys. We’ll get you an ID card. We’ll take care of each other. Is that what you want?

Your cat? You mean, the stray? She can’t come, honey.

What?

Oh! Your cat! Yes, I see her. If she wants to come with us she can, but we can’t force her to, okay sweetie?

I guess we have a cat now.

Name? You want to name her? Of course, everyone in a family has to have a name. What would you like to name her, Chloe?

You don’t know? You want me to pick a name?

Well, if you’re sure you’re okay with that, I think I have a good name in mind for her.