My New Friend

I've figured out a disguise. Most people (stupid people) think it's stuff you put on to look different. So other folks don't recognise you. But there's a better way, see?

Wear something all the time, so it becomes part of you, and then, when you take it off, they don't recognise you. Well. They might. But they probably won't notice you. Can't recognise you if they haven't even noticed you. See?

I didn't know if it would work on my flatmate. He's not as stupid as a lot of people. But I stood there in the airport, metres away from him, and he never knew I was there.

Bet if I'd worn my anorak and glasses he'd have clocked me right off. But I didn't. So he didn't. They were rolled up in the bottom of my backpack.

I had a plain black hoodie pulled up, and I stayed just out of his sight. I didn't look too long neither. That is one sure-fire way to draw attention. We waited and waited for his bag to come. I knew I wouldn't have long. He looked a bit sleepy and disoriented from his flight, which might give me a couple of seconds.

In the end, it was easier than I thought it would be. I made a bit of a quick show of checking both bags. Did a little confused frown and everything. You know. In case any staff were watching. They weren't. They don't care. Right as he spotted his (actually my) bag rolling along, I walked away. Big strides. He never suspected a thing.

I think of the little camera in his room. I'll be able to watch his reaction when he opens it. It'll be funny.

The taxi makes a stop at my storage unit. Now that I have a roommate I have a bit more cash spare each month. I've been spending some of it on this unit. It's so handy. I get my coat and glasses on, and chuck the bags in there. I want to take my time, rifle through his stuff. Get to know him better. But not as much as I want to be sitting where he expects me to be.

The crossness comes off him, like a real thing you can feel or smell. The way he stomps about. He's so mad. He has no idea.

I like it. I was an insect under a rock, and he was a chiselled giant. Now he's the bug, or the worm, or whatever. And I'm the giant. Neat-oh.

It doesn't mean I have to do anything else. It can stop here. Maybe I'll take a few more things. If I think I can get away with it. But then I'll stop. Really I will. I can. Any time I like. I don't have to keep going. Apart from anything else, if I kept on, I'd have to find a new flatmate. I don't want that. Don't want to fall behind on rent neither.

So I'll definitely stop. It'll be innocent. Just a fun prank. Or two. Nothing else. Nothing bad. I need his money.

But if he stops paying his rent... Well, then I'll think about things.

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