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White Hole
(Content warning in the comments.) AKA "Thallium", AKA "Nice Guy's Lament", AKA "The Problem With Romcoms". An Unreliable entry. You may have already read this one. I republished it for the Unreliable challenge. Thank you for reading!
By L.C. SchäferPublished 7 months ago • 11 min read
Photo by Mickael Gresset on Unsplash
Why doesn't she get it? I love her. Those words are small, and what I feel is... not. She is not. I love her. Always have. Always will. More than anyone else possibly could. I get her better than anyone else could. I want what's best for her.
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L.C. Schäfer
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Comments (24)
Terrifying 😵💫😵🫣
Oh he’s the scariest type of psycho the one who doesn’t know
Seems I missed this the first time, and I wish I hadn't. Incredibly well written and quite believable. What a psycho.
Oh, boy! I could have been someone from my past. I think it was. Or, perhaps it was me, except for the ending. I don't have one of those!
Wow! What a dipshit he is. But wow anyway!
I remember this. Awed for the second time.
So friggin amazing, L.C.! Fantastic storytelling—the perfect psychopath! Great entry! 👏🏽
Very well written, LC. There is a huge difference between love and obsession, and even from the opening lines I could see where this was going to go. All the red flags were there. So well done!
That's what nightmares are made of. Great writing.
Holy Hell in a handcart, this made my eyes WIDE within the first little bit and they didn't shrink once the entire read! Very well done, capturing the descent into madness parading as love.
You wrote this so well, a complete lesson on how to do it. We go from sympathy to disgust in the most natural way.
That was a textbook turn! At first I felt sorry for him, but then....... What a psycho. Nicely done!
A/N: Content warning for stalking, assault. This is an old one I worked over for the challenge. It was about 500+ words too long, and now it's bang on 2500. The narrator is unreliable because he's obsessed, and that skews his perspective. Are any of her qualities as good (or bad) as he says they are? Is she as beautiful, or as manipulative, as he paints her to be? He is also unreliable, because, unlike Forrest Gump, he doesn't know what Love is, but he thinks he does. He's unreliable because he thinks he's a Nice Guy, but is he actually a nice guy? He's also unreliable because he's been drinking, and he's not making the best choices right at this moment. I put an absolute buttload of layers in this one, plus various bits of foreshadowing. I hope you enjoy it 😁
This was such a riveting read great work on this first person perspective
How resentment can make a mind turn on itself, after starting g from such an innocent encounter. Good imagination, great story!
Very well written
Oh I love how dark that got, contrasted with the almost playful language of the main character. This was really well crafted from beginning to end.
Wow! What a journey you took us on. Brilliant writing x
I read this whole story in Joe Goldberg's voice from YOU because they always reveal his monologues to us in the show. Some guys are so obsessive and relentless!
Inside the mind of a stalker. Nicely done.
Nice story. Too bad flirting is dead with social media taking over.
Very well written
Very sad but very well written. You’re great! Great story!
This was amazing! My favourite line is this one "All the sit-ups I hadn't done did a dance of regret across my brain." Can't count how many times I've felt this exact thing, even though I never flirt in bars xD