Lurk

I am always frightened, I am sure that you mean me harm, lurking around the next corner. I don't like going out, but I know that if I stay in, you will come for me.

You are a threat, I know that is true. My instinct and gut feeling tell me to be wary of you.

I don't know your name, I have never seen you, but I know you are there.

Friends tell me I am paranoid, but you know the old saying, "Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you", and I know that ultimately you are out to get me.

In my house, you are the monster under the bed, the harpy scratching at my window, the shadow at the door, the movement in the closet. I know you are there.

I know I have to go out, I need to go to work, to go to the shops, but I make sure that I am always on main roads and populated streets so even if you try and hurt me, there will be others to help me, I won't give myself up for you. I am scared of you, to the point I am sick, but I will avoid you for as long as I can.

If I tell people about you, they ask for evidence. My doctor referred me to a psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist said I was suffering from a paranoid delusion, but it could be treated with drugs and therapy. I told them that you were real, I knew that you were real, so eventually they gave up on me and said they would have to make another referral, whatever that meant.

When I go to bed at night, I know you are there watching, maybe outside the window or my bedroom door. I can't see or hear you, but I know you are there. I wish you weren't because I know you intend me harm, though I don't know how you intend to do it. Will it be a pillow over the face, or something even more nefarious?

And when I drift into the realms of Morpheus, you are still there, turning my dreams into places where I fear to tread, turning them into nightmares, and then when I wake, soaked with sweat because I have really had no sleep, you are still there, but I can't see you.

I cannot protect myself because I do not know what you look like or which corner you are behind, waiting to sate your need for violence on me.

There was a knock at the door, I answered and was taken by two uniformed men who told me they were taking me somewhere for my own protection.

Protection from what? From YOU?

They gave me a uniform, took away my possessions and my belt and watch. I am now in this white room, the walls are padded for my protection, but I know they will not keep me safe from your attentions.

Sometimes theye talk to me, and tell me that I am sagfe, and nothing or no one is waiting in the dark places for me, but I know you and find places to hide anywhere, you are an expert in hiding in plain sight, so I can't see and no one else will notice you.

You now have me locked in this room, so I know it is only a matter of time before you come for me. I can't escape, so I have to wait.

Everyone I know says you were never really here, but I know different ...