Lizards and Usurpers

„Can’t we get a cat or a dog? Why must it be a lizard, Jane?”

“Everyone has cats and dogs Jim. They’re boring. About as interesting as a couple called Jane and Jim. I want something more special.”

“Ok, let’s just get this over with. I know you’re way too stubborn for anything I'll say to change your mind. Where did you say they sell those beasts?”

“At The Hunter’s Cave.”

“Oh lovely. That conjures up all the wrong images.”

“No clue what you mean. Let’s get going.”

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“My wife cannot get it out of her head that we must own a lizard, so I have dutifully submitted to her will, having seen that all resistance is pointless.”

“I see you’ve come to a unanimous decision. What do you envision?”

“I’m thinking of a strong lizard. One that knows what he wants and has character. That will insist on having things done his way. I’d like my energy matched in this household!”

“If my opinion counts for anything here, I think the animal should be easy to take care of. Not too loud, not too messy and I’d also prefer for it not to bite my hand off when I feed it.”

“Well, I have one in mind that’s just right for you! This is Harry. You can rename him of course, but he’s kind of gotten used to the name. As you can see, he is strong, fearless and crushes his enemies! Just kidding, haha. But if he had enemies, I’m pretty sure he would crush them. I promise he won’t bite your hand off though. There, see? Eats peacefully out of my hand. Just like a little dog. He needs to get used to you a bit at first, but then he’s an absolute sweetheart.”

“He seems potent!”

“He doesn’t seem dangerous.”

“We’ll take him!”

“Yeah, I guess we will.”

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“Harry’s grown big, have you noticed Jim?”

“ Oh yes, I have. The guy who sold it to us was an absolute jerk. Shameless liar. At most 50 centimeters he said. Harry’s closing in on a meter. We’ll have to get a bigger cage. Or of course, we could just get rid of him.”

“Oh, don’t act up! I know you care about him as least as much as I do! I’ve seen you play your little games in the evening. When you throw that stress ball into his cage and then play some strange version of miniature football? Don’t think I haven’t seen you. Half of your fun in this place is playing with Harry.”

“And the other half?”

“Argh, just come to bed.”

“What was that noise?”

“Noise… loud… wolf running… no, not here!... Sleep now, sleep…”

“JANE, GET UP! YOU NEED TO SEE THIS. HARRY, NO!”

“What… what’s happening? It’s late…”

“COME!”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD! HARRY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

“I guess the cage got too small after all. Though that hole he made? Seems pretty small too. Hard to imagine how he could've fit through it – but I guess he did.”

“Goodbye, humans. It is time for me to leave.”

“Did he just say 'Goodbye', opened the window and flew out? Jim, I think I’m dreaming. I’ll wake up soon enough. This is all way too unreal. But didn’t we just get up?”

“I don’t think we’re dreaming Jane. I’ve rarely been so certain of being awake. I guess Harry was a different type of lizard than we imagined… Well, Goodbye Harry!”

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“Sir Aragorn, you’ve made it! I can hardly believe my eyes! Seeing you again, after so many years… when our paths last crossed you were still a small infant, barely able to get any smoky puffs out. You’ve grown to be strong and majestic. It is evident that you are destined for greatness. You take after your father.”

“Your words are music in my ears, Boyd. You need not call me ‘Sir’, we are old friends. I haven’t forgotten your kindness.”

“You are generous Aragorn. Not that it comes as a surprise. But where have you been? Where did they take you upon capture? You don’t look heavily scarred, yet you were gone for so long. When I received your message, I was surprised, even exuberated! Most of us believed you dead. And how much I would’ve liked to spread this message of hope! The kingdom needs it. Things weren’t looking good when you left, but they’ve only become worse… it saddens me that these are among the first words I must speak to you: your father has died. He has been dead for two years already.

Circumstances of his death are disputed. He was in outstanding physical health, but from one day to the next, he became extremely sick, barely able to move. Soon, he ceased speaking. Three days later he died. It is your uncle Muriel who is in power now. There has been much whispering of betrayal, of a silent, planned takeover. No conclusive evidence has been surfaced. But any inspections into the matter were made practically impossible, obscured and swept under the rug with impressive determination. Those who believe in a natural cause of death are few and far in between. I am truly sorry.”

“Those are bitter news you bring with you, Boyd… my grief cannot be put into words. I loved my father deeply. My heart is swallowed whole. The calamity of his loss will remain with me. But now is the time for action. The kingdom shall not suffer under the cruel reign of Muriel. Even with conclusive evidence lacking, not for a second do I doubt that he was behind my father’s death. His plotting, sinister nature was obvious to me back when I still lay in the crib.”

“You have spoken, Aragorn. You are the true king and the kingdom awaits you. What next steps shall we take?”

“Hmm, I will ponder this, my friend. Haste leads to ruin. Wait for me here tomorrow, as the first rays of the morning sun fall upon these rocks. Then, I will give you an answer.”

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“What a majestic morning, isn’t it, Boyd?”

“As you say, so it is.”

“I have immersed myself in reflection. But before I make up my mind for good, tell me a bit more about my uncle’s reign.”

“He’s ruthless, Aragorn. He turns a blind eye on the suffering and suffering there is plenty. Many a dragon now licks their own wounds in the streets of the Kingdom, for they have neither home nor another soul to heal them. Getting by is a challenge for the majority. And battle after battle, the best of us are pulverized, logs thrown onto the ever-burning fire of senseless destruction. That, Aragorn, is the state of affairs in your kingdom.”

“So it is decided. Muriel must go. I have been carrying this antidote, ever since my father gave it to me when I could barely crawl. I didn’t understand his preoccupation then, but he has proved to be more far-sighted than any of us. Muriel will have a choice. We don’t kill without giving life a chance. You know what to do, Boyd, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Good. Wait for a few days. Prepare those close to you but be very careful in telling friend from foe. In three days, at noon, I shall enter the Main Hall. Don’t preoccupy yourself with the necessary logistics. I still know a few tricks Muriel and his followers don’t. Make sure to be present upon my arrival.”

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“Open the gates, fellows. I have returned.”

“Sir Aragorn! We can scarcely believe our eyes! Enter and do as you may. The kingdom is waiting for you.”

“ARAGORN! What a terrible… terribly pleasant surprise! We had all believed you dead…”

“Spare me your vain talk, Muriel. You’ve deceived my family and made the kingdom suffer as a result of your obsession with power. On the streets, it is an open secret that you poisoned my father. I have come to set things right.”

“How dare you arrogant, wretched prick! Just like when you were a kid. I should’ve ended your precious life back then already, I suspected you would only cause trouble.”

“You have revealed your true character all too readily, uncle.”

“Oh, what do you care? You’re a powerless intruder, I rule! I do and talk as I please. You shall be punished for your blasphemous words. Guards, take him out and throw him into a cell. The smallest and darkest you can find.”

“Your power has blinded you, Muriel. You were never wise, but you were sharp. Now, you fail to see the obvious, that which happens right before your eyes. No guards will take me anywhere, for you are not who they follow. Jason, Delfina, has this pseudo-king had his supper already?”

“He has, Sir Arthur. King.”

“How dare you, Delfina?! Remember your place and who you serve!”

“It is done Muriel. Don’t you understand? It is so simple and so ironic. Those with a heart of stone fail to see that the tricks they play on others can be played on themselves just as easily. I have here the only antidote left in the Seven Kingdoms to the poison you swallowed with your supper. The choice is yours: you can leave this kingdom once and for all or you can leave this life once and for all. If you choose to live, the rest of your days shall be spent on the island of Gwarth. You will be provided with life’s bare necessities but you won’t harm another soul during the rest of your life.”

“Ooh, it is hopeless! What a poor king I am! How did I deserve this? I cannot see, have I turned blind? I thought I’d understood this rigged system, but thus it all falls apart. Give me the antidote and I shall be gone.”

“Two guards will take you and feed you the antidote in doses on the way to Gwarth. You only see systems to game, dragons to trick and deceive. Your soul is lost. Gwarth will leave you enough time to reflect. Now go. And fellows, the moment has arrived. The moment to start rebuilding this Kingdom as a place of peace and prosperity!”