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Laney

A Story Every Day in 2024 Sept 20th 264/366

By Rachel DeemingPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 2 min read
Laney
Photo by Leanne Fisher on Unsplash

"I don't really like the quarry," Luke said and immediately regretted it. Laney had suggested it and now she'd think badly of him. Plus Mark and Matt would give him grief for weeks.

Laney turned. "You don't have to come if you don't want to." She said it kindly as Laney always did and she meant it. But Luke knew that he would have to go: for pride, reputation and because he didn't want to miss out on spending time with Laney. He was too unaware to identify these feelings. They were swarming in his mind and his belly but they propelled him into going.

"Aw, is Luke scared?" Mark said, mockingly and rubbed his eyes like a bawling baby.

Matt laughed but at a frown from Laney put his arm around Luke's shoulders and said, "We'll keep away from the edge. No worries," and was rewarded with a bright smile from Laney and his arm being shrugged off by Luke.

"Come on, Luke," Laney said and Luke looked at her encouraging face. "It'll be fine."

*

They were running, playing tag. The boys were all trying to target Laney but she was too quick. Her laughter as she managed to evade their pursuit filled the quarry. She was never tagged, the boys targeting each other on rotation.

"Come on, boys! You're going to have to do better than that!" Laney shouted. "I've not been "It" once yet!"

Mark was panting. "She's too good!" He lurched for Luke who managed to just swerve to avoid his touch.

"Luke, you're on. I got your t-shirt!" Mark lied.

"Did not, Mark! You're lying!" Luke said, keeping his distance.

In defeat, Mark leaned over, hands on his thighs. "I'm knackered. Beaten by a girl. I'll never live this down!"

Matt, sitting on a rock, said, "You're not giving in, are you?"

Mark frowned and said "No!" Then added, "How about we see if we can all get her?"

Luke and Matt looked at each other and grinned.

Laney pretended to look afraid. "Well, that's not fair, is it?" She laughed, "But you still won't catch me," turning to run.

She was right. She was never caught by them that day.

***

366 words

This links to two previous stories I wrote, links below:

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.

264/366

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About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (16)

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  • Caitlin Charltonabout a year ago

    I like that this part gave us a good idea of how the conversation went between them. I love the questions that this is pulling and how it’s bonding us to laney even though she is no more. In other words, this was brutal lol 👌🏽👏🏽♥️

  • A. J. Schoenfeldabout a year ago

    You've definitely got me hooked on this tale. I want to shout to them to be careful, knowing how dark this playful day will end. Well done creating characters so easy to identify with.

  • Grz Colmabout a year ago

    Eeek!! I love this Rachel! Such good use of dialogue to take us back there!! Expertly done. I used to love playing chasie as a kid, as we used to call it here in Oz. I also would sometimes enforces a game in adult life with uh.. mixed results! 😅

  • Such vivid portrayal of the day & their friendship.

  • Paul Stewartabout a year ago

    Ach. I love the bittersweet feeling you project from this - all that joy and laughter and just unbridled fun - life has a horrible way of smiting out fun every now and again. Well done Rachel! OFf to see the next part I goes!

  • D.K. Shepardabout a year ago

    Such childhood vibrancy but with a looming dark cloud since we know what comes next …

  • Testabout a year ago

    Oh... that sinister cliff hanger ending. Even though we know how it ends, we still don't quite know how it happened, but it seems like the boys don't either...

  • That was just so heartbreaking. Loved this!

  • John Coxabout a year ago

    Wonderful, believable. I can see them. And then she's gone.

  • Jay Kantorabout a year ago

    Dear Rd - Well you certainly don't throw-um-at-us like a 'Girl.' I figger you've been ghosting me from my 'Hanging' comment I wrote on one of your stories the other day. I will won't be silly ever again, "Probably..!" JiBud

  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    I really like the whimsical aspect to this story, although sadness prevails knowing what lies ahead.

  • Caroline Cravenabout a year ago

    I thought this was so beautiful and it became so tragic after I read your other story too. Wow.

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    "That day." This is really well done from the perspective if the boys relationship with Laney. But, you know what sucks? Even if I hadn't read the others, with three boys and one girl, I could never help but worry that something is about to go wrong.

  • Gabriel Huizengaabout a year ago

    Clever and tragic to retell this from a different perspective! Both pieces are so well done, but I might like this one even better. Excellent work!

  • Lana V Lynxabout a year ago

    Oh my heart. Poor Laney. Poor boys, to live with this guilt forever. Excellent storytelling from a different perspective, Rachel.

  • L.C. Schäferabout a year ago

    Those last two words are a bit loaded aren't they 😁

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