Boys
A Story Every Day in 2024 Sept 19th 263/366
Three boys, running through a field.
I take the photo from the envelope and remember when it was taken. I know who they are.
Me, Mark and Matthew. I'm Luke. No Bible jokes please. I've heard them before. We were neither saints nor sinners. Or not then. We've all made up for it since.
We were tight. All the same age, even though I'm shorter. I always was the runt. They were like my brothers. We went everywhere together, lived on the same road, went to the same school. We weren't interested in cubs or cadets or anything poncy like that. We used to run through the streets, kicking a can, kicking a stone, kicking people's gates and listening to them shout as we ran off. We were the low level disruption collective with grubby knees, noise and inexhaustible energy.
We were a pain. But we were one. Do you know what it takes to break a brotherhood? Nothing as dramatic as marauders. It's simple.
A girl.
The problem started when Laney moved into our road. Oh, Laney. Bit older than us. We were only ten, Matt might have been eleven when she arrived. And after that we were never the same. Even now, I think of her and she sends me somewhere...
We all loved her and she knew it. Could play us all so well. Matt was the protective one, Mark was the funny one and I was the sensitive one. We all thought that we were the one, for her. She never told us otherwise.
We never meant for her to die that day. Never meant for her to fall, never meant for her to hit her head, never meant for her to sink beneath the surface of the quarry.
We were just kids messing about.
In her absence, almost instantly, our brotherhood reformed, joining up the wound she'd made, sealed with the secrecy of her going. We were questioned but we never told.
Her mum still lives here, Bethan. I see her. Hounded. That's how she looks.
And now this? Taken that day, of us, running down towards the woods by the quarry.
The one Laney took.
Someone remembers still. I wonder who?
***
366 words
A stand alone tale but I've sort of linked it to one that I wrote the other day, quite unintentionally, the idea only emerging when I started writing it. I found this picture the other day when I was looking for one for a different story and decided to save it as a prompt as something about it appealed.
There's an insight into my writing process for you. I basically wing it every day, writing on the hoof (although not bareback).
The story that this links to was published yesterday:
Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.
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Comments (18)
Okay… umm, yeah. The fact that this is written in first person and they are in a way… confessing. Well… Just kids huh? Okay… What? There’s another who remembers? I think I’m going to trip on my way to read the next part. I love how you described how the brotherhood reformed, that really added that extra touch. Added to the atmosphere and bring gravity to what is going on. It was very effective. 🤗👏🏽👌🏽
I love your writing and the vividness it portrays!
I get a real sense in the matter-of-fact way that Luke describes her death that the boys could not grasp the gravity of what happened. Their cover up seems naive rather than cruel.
If you should get a chance I’d love these all in one place? I’ve read this one too. It seems there is a lot more than I thought. Maybe you want us to pay as you are saving the compilation for your blockbuster novel! C’mon! Fair’s fair!😄
Poor Bethan… always wondering 🥺
Finally have a chance to catch up on this. Oooh. I see what you did there with Bethann from that previous piece. Well done. This is not going to be a happy story, it feels. Love how you got the characterisation down in such a short space, such is your talent. I feel like we have an idea who Luke, Mark, and Matt are as well as Laney. Well done. Off to read next part, expect more comments, chum!
I saw Bethan and I recognised your previous story! I love the way you linked them!
Oh! I see why you linked these two!! They do pair well together and apart! Another great tragic piece by you, I must say!! Well done, Rachel!!
This is just outstanding! You’ve done a number on me with this one!
Oh gosh. Yes they'll never recover from that. This was so well written.
Brilliant and tragic, Rachel. This felt real enough to get under my skin. The kind of story that I will remember.
That was excellent. It all seemed so innocent until...
Wow, gave me goosebumps. It started out charming, gave me a big smile at "low level disruption collective" and then suddenly turned so dark. All in just 366 words. You are a master, Rachel!
Incredible work, Rachel! The bond of the boys strengthening even further due to the secrecy of Laney’s death was jarring, but it paints a powerful picture. Loved the darkness of this atmosphere!
Excellent tale, especially for winging it on the hoof....so wistful and so full of emotion.
Wow, this is heavy but you cover it elegantly. Lovely writing as always!
I loved this!! It speaks of those childhood bonds that were so strong in us. I know when I was growing up, we never told on one another for the big things, but we nagged about the small ones. The choice of the names and their personalities are very like their Biblical counterparts so I thought that was brilliant! It had me thinking about a song I heard a long time ago called "Me and John and Paul". (linked below) It's a happy visit to childhood with such a horrible turn. You definitely penned something here that lingers with you long after you're done reading! https://youtu.be/C3nIAY_8L9I?si=fI_H0kBTrP5eQUgh
Laney's sad fate makes the gospel of this Luke rather grim!