Just Desserts

The warden tapped his fingers against his desk as he waited. He usually wasn’t an impatient man, but the pressure of the news he had to deliver weighed heavy upon his chest. It was a bleak morning, and the weather suited his mood. It was a fitting day for him to be the Messenger of Death.

All the possible ways to say these words swirled around in his mind. The words still didn’t make any sense. He shook his head to clear his mind. He had received a call last night that one of his prisoners, Earnest Young, had been sentenced to death by electrocution. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Ah, yes. Come in,” the warden answered.

Officer Blake pushed open the door. Both men stepped inside the office. The warden had forgotten how young this inmate was. He could not have been older than thirty-five. The orange jumpsuit hung loose around his small frame.

“Young, take a seat. Blake wait outside and close the door behind you,” Warden Hill instructed.

The door closed with a thud. He had glanced over Mr. Young’s file that morning. The inmate had run over a woman and fled the scene because he had been drinking. It was discovered later that the woman had been two months pregnant. The warden took a moment to compose himself.

“Young, you have a court hearing this week?” he questioned Earnest.

“Yes, sir. Wednesday at 2:00 o’clock,” he answered politely.

“Son, I received a call yesterday evening about your case. They have reached a verdict,” he began. He paused to look at the young man before him. He was listening attentively. The announcement was sour on the warden’s tongue.

“You have been found guilty. The punishment for your crime is death,” he rushed out. Although the words were out Warden Hill did not feel any better.

“I understand, sir,” was all Earnest could get out.

He had so many questions. He knew from the beginning of his trial that this outcome was a possibility. Over the three years in prison, he thought about his past mistakes daily. They were on a continuous loop in his mind. Earnest had not been able to forgive himself for the terrible things he had done.

“Of course, this will all be explained to you formally in court,” the warden continued.

“When will I die?” Earnest asked.

“Your execution is scheduled for 6:00 p.m. on Friday,” he sighed.

The warden shared a few more details with Earnest. He excused him from his work-study program for the rest of the day. Officer Blake escorted him back to his cell. It was where he was left alone with his thoughts once again. Earnest knew the warden was trying to be kind to him during his last days, but to be alone with his thoughts made it all worse.

He was stuck replaying that moment he lost control of his car and hit the red-headed woman. He did not get out to help her, but speed away. He had been drinking. His head wasn’t clear. He shook his head to escape those awful and unwelcome thoughts. At that moment, Sal stepped in. Sal was his cellmate and the closest thing he had to a friend.

“Ernie, you’re back! What happened up in the big man’s office?” Sal asked.

“My verdict came in,” he reported.

“And?” Sal replied.

“The death penalty,” he stated.

The words hung heavy in the air between the two friends. It was the first time Sal had been speechless for more than a moment since Earnest had met him. Earnest watched as his friend rubbed his temples and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, brother,” Sal said.

The days leading up to court passed by slowly. It was a long drive to the courthouse. Earnest was once again left alone with his thoughts. The guard driving him did not talk much. He would have to hear all the dreaded and torturous details read aloud again. Those words have haunted him since the day they were revealed at his first hearing.

The day went by in a blur. The words of what he had done played over and over again in his mind. The only other thing he remembered from that day was telling the judge he understood his sentencing. He was back at West Mountain Penitentiary before he knew it.

“So, what are you going to have for your last meal?” Sal asked.

Earnest shrugged, “I don’t know. I hadn’t really given it much thought yet.”

“You should definitely request steak or lobster,” Sal said smiling.

Sal was a big and burly man with an insatiable appetite. Food was his favorite fantasy and so they spent the rest of their night talking about it. Earnest lie awake at night thinking about his last meal. Did he really deserve some kind of treat? He had done those awful things discussed in court. He had taken two lives. It may have been an accident, but what was done was done. It was nothing he could change.

All of Earnest’s life he never really believed in God, but on the day of his execution he found himself praying. He reached out to the man upstairs to ask him for help. He asked to be able to finally forgive himself for the mistakes he had made and the pain he had caused others. He hoped the end would be quick.

Earnest was escorted by Officer Blake to his final meal. He sat down at the table. A small decadent chocolate cake accompanied by a glass of cold milk was placed before him as he requested. The cake took him back to simpler days.

As a child, chocolate cake had brought Earnest happiness. His family didn’t have much money when he was growing up. They were dirt poor. His family was only able to afford the necessities. Somehow, they always managed to scrap together enough money to purchase ingredients to make a chocolate cake for his birthday. It was the one thing he could look forward to each year.

He slowly picked up his fork. He took a small bite of the cake. He couldn’t remember that last time he had tasted chocolate. It was delicious and as much as he wanted to devour it, he stopped himself. The cake was moist and sweet. It reminded him of the times in his life when he was happy. Happiness had been a stranger to him these last few years. He wanted to relish that feeling one more time.

He took slow and small bites of the cake. It was bittersweet as was this moment. Earnest did not want to die, but he realized that he would no longer be a part of this world. He would no longer be a prisoner of his own pain. It was a bittersweet release from this tortured world and in a twisted way, he would be free. Life had never been easy for Earnest.

He took the last bite of his cake and downed the glass of milk. He would try to hold onto the few happy moments in his life as he faced the electric chair. He was choosing this moment to finally forgive himself and to hopefully be forgiven by the one above.

The lights flickered in the warden’s office as he was finishing up some paperwork on Friday evening. It was like an unofficial sign that the chair had been used. It was 6:00 p.m. and he knew that was the end for Earnest Young. The warden shook his head. There was no hope for Mr. Young or who he could have chosen to be. The warden was wrong. There was hope. It wasn’t hope in the man that Earnest could be one day, but in the man who found God and redemption in forgiving himself.