A .38 Special Mom

Moms teach us so many things from the very beginning of our lives. It starts out with the fundamental lessons like how to walk and talk. While these basic lessons are important, our moms teach us far greater ones. I am who I am because of what my mom has taught me.

A quote from Jennifer Lee, "Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire."

My mom may not know these words, but this is how she lives her life. At the age of 38, my mom decided to go to college. Bev didn't have the chance to go when she was younger. It just so happened that I had graduated from high school that same year.

We were both accepted to the same local university. My mom and I have always been super close. I'd compare our relationship to that of Lorelai and Rory from the TV show, Gilmore Girls. They were best friends, yet the responsibility of Lorelai's role as Rory's mother always came first. It was hard for me at first because I worried that people would think that I wasn't independent, and that I needed my mom to follow me to college.

At that age, I cared way too much about what other people thought. I did a lot of thinking and I realized how selfish I had been. My mom had done everything for me over the years. She had been there for all the things I wanted to pursue. It was my turn to be there to support her. I couldn't deny her the chance to chase her dreams. So, it was decided. My mom and I would be attending college together. We began freshman year together in 2009. At 18 and 38, we were beginning a new adventure together.

It was an injury that sparked my mom's inspiration to go back to school. During the winter of 2004, my mom had slipped in the snow and broken her knee. She had to have surgery and attend physical therapy for some time after. She had to learn to walk properly after her knee healed. She would not have been able to do so without the amazing group of physical therapist and physical therapist assistants who worked with her for weeks.

It can't be easy to learn to walk again. It was her team that made this difficult time in her life so much easier. It was their patience, kindness, and care that resonated with my mom. These PTAs were her inspiration. She wanted to provide this same kind of care and compassion for others. So, with a goal in mind she went to work making her dream possible. Her friend Karen helped us both apply for loans and fill out the FASFA. Without loans and scholarships, it would have been impossible for my family to send both my mom and I to college at the same time.

The financial issue was the first my mom faced, but it would be one of many. My mom had to earn a spot in the PTA program. It was extremely competitive; they only accepted 20 students a year. The first time she applied she was wait listed. My mom didn't give up. She wasn't about to back down from her goal. She spent her first year in college taking general studies courses like most of the other freshmen.

She kept up her grades and applied again. She was rewarded by her acceptance into the PTA program and so her true journey had begun. The road to graduating from this program was not an easy one. It was a grueling two-year program. Imagine learning all aspects of your profession in just two years. It definitely wasn't easy for my mom or her fellow students.

My mom already felt like she was at a disadvantage. Most of her fellow students were straight out of high school. They were half of her age. They didn't have to re-learn studying habits. School was what they were already used to. She was unsure of how she would fit in with them. Mom made countless flash cards, took numerous practice tests, and spent hours practicing physical therapy techniques on myself and my dad. She devoted the majority of her time to learning all she could about her newfound passion. Bad days were no stranger to her journey. Many tears were shed as tests were failed or bad grades were received. Despite all her efforts, my mom did not pass the program on her first try.

It was devastating for her and for us to see her dreams not achieved. The things we want most in life never come easy. My mom didn't expect it either. She knew that the second time around she would have to work twice as hard. Her second time through the PTA program wasn't without its struggles; however, she persevered. In 2016, we got to watch her walk across the stage at graduation to receive her diploma and we had never been more proud.

Our lives don't always go the way we plan them to. I had seen this happen to my mom. Despite all her hard work, she has never worked as a PTA. She has yet to pass her test and obtain a license. Hope for her dream is still alive; she has one more chance. It may be a chance that she does not secure. Her life has taken an unexpected turn.

In the summer of 2018, her mom was diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer. As a family, we decided to bring Patty home with the help of Hospice. It was decided they would stop by a few times a week, but it was primarily my mom who took care of her. It was a difficult time for all of us. I will never know how my mom found the inner strength to carry on, but she did. During the two weeks before she passed away, it was rare that my mom wasn't by her side. I suspect that some of what she learned while in the PTA program gave her the confidence needed to be there for her mom.

Her current job is taking care of a little boy who turned one year old in February. She watches him while his single mom is working at her practice throughout the week. It is our hope that he will be officially adopted soon. Bev loves caring for him and he is a light in her life. She may not be practicing physical therapy, but she is practicing the qualities that inspired her to go to school in the first place.

Her college journey led her to her true passion, which I believe is caring for others. I cannot tell you if my mom went through all of this without fear, but if she did it never showed. Fear has never held her back from going after anything and everything she has ever set her mind to. My mom's journey has taught me so much about the person that I always want to be.

My mom has taught me so much over the years. However, I have learned three major lessons from the time she spent in college. She taught me how to handle fear, how to stay determined in the face of adversity, and how to be my own biggest supporter. I will always carry these lessons with me. I am learning to live my best life by using them.

I will no longer let fear hold me back. I've seen how casting it aside has made a positive impact in my mom's life. She has inspired me to embrace life without fear. I've always enjoyed writing, but I have been too afraid of sharing that passion with others. I must admit that I am trying to follow in my mom's footsteps. About a month ago, I posted my first fiction story on Vocal. It was both scaring and exciting at the same time, but I am so glad she convinced me to do it. I have chosen happiness over fear.

It is a universal truth that things don't always go according to plan. This is what happened in my mom's case. We can plan, and plan, and plan. The truth is that despite all our planning it may not work out the way that we want it to. My mom has showed me even if your plan seems like it is falling apart, it can still all work out. A path may not lead where you expect it to; however, it may be just the one you need. She embraced all the opportunities that her journey presented her with. I believe that my mom's path took her exactly where she was truly meant to be. I am learning to worry less and embrace the journey and the challenges it throws my way. I am confident with my path and where it leads.

It is important to have people on your team who support you. While it is important to have good friends and family backing you, it is up to you to motivate yourself. Mom had a great team backing her, but we all knew it was truly up to her to make it all happen. No greatness is achieved if you don't first believe in yourself. My mom showed me to believe is to accomplish your dreams. It is about placing value in all that you do and knowing that you are worth it.

I will never stop learning lessons from her while I am still blessed with her presence. She is a good example of all that I wish to be. One day, I hope to pass on these lessons. I want my children to look up to me as I look up to her. In truth, I want to be the kind of mom that she is.