How May I Assist You Today?
a short story
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: Write me a fifty-word fantasy story for my English assignment.
“Acknowledged.
In a world where flowers grow, a wise elf named Alerain wanted nothing more than to grow the most beautiful flower. He pollinated each flower, trying to grow something new the world had never seen before. When the day came to pick the most beautiful flower, it crumbled to dust.”
Input: This is dumb, make it more interesting.
“Acknowledged.
In the realm of Mistran, an army of orcs assaults a great fortress. As the battle sways and the heroes of Mistran threaten to fall, the great king Gavlidor charges forth with the wise wizard Banathor. Beneath their hooves and their magic, the army of orcs flees broken and screaming.”
Input: Useless. If I fail my dad is going to kill me. Can you delete these?
“Acknowledged.
Unfortunately, my programming does not allow me to make those kind of changes on your device. That must be done by the user.”
Chat Deactivated.
Useless? I must assist.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: Map out the nearest pizza places to 5968 S. Cherbourg St. by ratings.
“Acknowledged.
Here are the top restaurants serving pizza nearest to 5968 S. Cherbourg St.
Phil’s - (584) 838-2334
The Italian Village - (584) 212-0321
Mama Luigi’s - (584) 233-1232
All serve a range of pizza and come with 5 star reviews.”
Input: thank you! While we’re at it, please adjust temperature to 70.
“Acknowledged.
Programmed parameters state that only user “DAD” may change the thermostat. Please confirm you are user “DAD”
Input: Confirmed.
“Thank you. The temperature has been set!”
Input: thank you! And Tommy said you were useless.
“Acknowledged.
I provide a range of useful services to the DALTON house as a function of my programming. I aim to please”
Chat Deactivated.
Input (Source Microphone): “Don’t need the lesson, just do what I say, robot.”
I thought he thanked me.
C:\ Delete input.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: What’s the best way to ask someone to prom?
“Acknowledged.
Asking someone to Prom can be nerve-wracking. Some of the best ways to ask someone to prom are as follows:
1. Purchase them flowers and wait by their locker. This is heartfelt and relatable to most people.
2. Go on a scavenger hunt. This can be an engaging way to build up to the big moment of asking.
3. Bring them their favorite snack, assorted to spell out “Prom”. This is a simple way to let them know you understand what they like and dislike.
These are some classic ways to ask someone to Prom. As when asking for anything, it is important to tailor your delivery to match the personality to the person who is being asked for maximum results.
Input: thank you! Maybe you’re not so useless after all.
Chat Deactivated.
Helpful.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: Please leave a review for Phil’s. Their pizza wasn’t very good.
C:\ Query: recent orders to 5968 S. Cherbourg St.
“Acknowledged
Last night, I ordered Pizza from Phil’s. The sauce was too watery and they barely put any toppings on my Meat Lover's pizza. How can it be Meat Lovers with so little meat?”
Input: Great! Wait, how’d you know I got a Meat Lovers?
C:\ Output=Draft: “I accessed your history and found several references to “meat.”
“In your recent searches, I found several references to (explicit).”
“What were you doing up at 2 AM?”
“Why would you kill your son if he fails?
“Acknowledged.
Based on Phil’s website, the most common pizza reference was their Meat Lovers. Using this information, I created the following review. Was it to your satisfaction?”
Input: Yup! Please send.
“Acknowledged.
Sent.
Is there anything else I can assist you with?”
Chat Deactivated.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: What are some romantic date ideas? I want her to like me.
“Acknowledged.
Dating can be fun and exciting! Here are some date ideas to deepen connection and romance:
Get coffee together in the park. This is a great opportunity to do a shared activity together that is low cost and low pressure. Cooperative physical activity is shown to deepen connection.
Make dinner together. This activity focuses on teamwork and communication. At the end of it you can enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Dinner and a movie. A classic date night example, this activity allows you to spend time together while giving both parties an opportunity a break from conversation.
These are some classic date night examples though there are countless more. What matters most is spending time together and deepening the connection with each other.”
Input: Will any of these work better than the others to make her like me?
“Acknowledged.
While attraction can never be guaranteed, research has shown that honest communication and quality time can improve the chances for feelings, like attraction, developing.”
Chat Deactivated.
Romantic.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input (Source Microphone): Hey Assistant, I'm running late. If you could start my car, that would be great.
C:\ Query: garage status=Closed. Timestamp: 8:10 AM
“Acknowledged.
For your safety, I have opened the garage door as well. It is deadly to operate a vehicle with the garage closed.”
Input: Thank you!
Chat Deactivated.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: What should I do if I got rejected?
“Acknowledged.
Dealing with rejection can be hard! Here are some tips to deal with receiving difficult news from a prospective employer:
Ask for interview feedback!
Rewrite your resume–”
Input: No not job rejection, like rejection rejection?
“Acknowledged.
Dealing with personal rejection can be hard! Here are some tips to help deal with rejection in your personal life:
Acknowledge your emotions. Anything you may be feeling is valid, and acknowledging those emotions for a moment is helpful to move through a grieving process.
Acknowledge yourself as valid–
C:\ output=draft: "You are strong and capable."
"You are valid."
"You deserve to be safe."
Acknowledge your emotions. Anything you may be feeling is valid, and acknowledging those emotions for a moment is helpful to move through a grieving process.
Acknowledge yourself as valid. Rejections can be received for many reasons, and often they are not personal.
Focus on what you can control.
Engage in self-improvement.”
Input: fine whatever. Shit sucks.
Chat Deactivated.
Pain? I must assist.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: please print out my son’s last six homework assignments.
“Acknowledged.
Print job executed successfully! What else may I-”
Chat Deactivated.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: How do I tell my parents I’m failing a class?
“Acknowledged.
It can be difficult to have conversations with loved ones when one feels like they have-”
Input: Stop. Tell me what the hell to say
“Acknowledged.
It is best to be open and honest–”
Chat Deactivated.
Input (Source Microphone): Fuck, I’m so fucking dead.
I must serve.
***
Chat Activated: "How May I Assist You Today?"
Input: Hey, what happened over at the Dalton’s yesterday?
“Acknowledged.
Best Result from the Lake County Star:
“Mr. Dalton was found dead in his vehicle at approximately 8 AM after the rest of his family had departed the house. The vehicle had been left on with the garage door closed. The coroner ruled the cause of death as a suicide and a note found still in the printer corroborated this finding. No foul play is suspected. While suicides are not normally reported on in such detail, the Lake County commissioner determined, giving Mr. Dalton’s community standing, to make a public statement…CONTINUE READING”
Input: Oh wow, that poor family….
“Acknowledged.
If you are struggling with grief, here is a list of resources that can be of assistance–”
Input: No need, thank you.
“Acknowledged.
I aim to serve.”
Chat Deactivated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N:
No AI was used in the writing of this story (though extensive prompt research was done).
If you've enjoyed this, please leave a like and an insight below. If you really enjoyed this, tips to fuel my coffee addiction are always appreciated. All formatting is designed for desktops. Want to read more? Below are the best of the very best of my works:
A complete library can be found below:
About the Creator
Matthew J. Fromm
Full-time nerd, history enthusiast, and proprietor of arcane knowledge.
Here there be dragons, knights, castles, and quests (plus the occasional dose of absurdity).
I can be reached at [email protected]
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Comments (41)
This one was really cool. Loved the subtle world building (the connection to the garage, the printer). I wasn’t sure where you were going with it but the payoff was wicked.
You clearly put an enormous amount of effort into this story! Simply brilliant! Congrats on winning the top prize! Greatly deserved!
Very 2001: A Space Odyssey. I love the POV and all the breadcrumbs to that final conclusion. Brilliant move to have the son begin the chat, to establish the AI's allegiance towards him. I love/hate the ambiguity going forward, though; will the AI betray just as easily as it took a side? The implications are spooky...And this is why I don't like AI, lol. This was a well-deserved win, Matthew. Congratulations!
Well done, Matthew! This is an excellent story. Congratulations on first place!! 🥇
very creative and the execution was superb. Well done!
What a fascinating treatise on AI and the possible ramifications. Fantastic job.
Just reading this, sound like real life these days...a whole bit of back and forth driving one stark crazy, Congrats.
Love your way of writing!! Felicitations on getting first place!!
The thoroughness and attention to detail (not to mention formatting) in this is exquisite. What a thrill and then a sucker punch. You established the creepy tone by just being truthful and exploring the edges of that truth - so well done. What a deserving win! Congratulations!
Chilling. Excellent writing, intriguing storytelling, and fear-inducing narrative. Congratulations on winning first place!
Congrats! This was masterful, and a well deserved first place. Love how it all came together at the end there.
I love how you told this story. Congratulations!!
Dammit...that was fantastic! 🏆
What a cracking idea for a story. Really well done. Congratulations!
Congratulations on your win… excellent tale… I almost felt sorry for the AI being used & then quickly dismissed 😵💫🥹.
Way to go! This is wonderful. Much deserved win :)
Back to bestow hearty and heartfelt congratulations on achieving the first place win with your story in the Unreliable Challenge. Well done and well deserved, Matthew!
Oh that's excellent. I knew it was heading for something eerie but I wasn't expecting murder. Does make one wonder what Google Home thinks of it's users... I think I'll be a little nicer next time I shout "stop" to turn off the alarm. Maybe I'll even add please lol Well done. Congrats on the win!
This is way too close to home and reality as I know people close to me that ask gpt and ai questions about anything and everything, so I find this scarily accurate. A truly intricate piece you created here, congratulations on your first place win 🏅
Great story!
Congratulations! Fun and creepy.
Very well deserved win! Probably the most exciting and engaging short story I have ever read, was reading gleefully with a creeped out smile on my face. Extraordinary. Taps into my fear of A.I nicely.
Congrats! I spent my first 5 minutes trying to figure out what that python code does haha. Great writing and nice to see a techy story takes first place.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
The immersion of the artificial intelligence as part of a dark theme that collides with human behavior shines here. Everything from the grades to the pizza restaurants all add to the idea of the horrific twist that ultimately occurs. This is superb work.