Hope For An Escape (Ch. 3-5)

Chapter 3

They say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. If you ask me, I would say I've died several times, and every time was even more traumatic than the last. Death is not how the people describe it on LMN. Sometimes there aren't people to write about it. Sometimes there aren't even people to realize that it has happened. Even though they were there the whole time.

Anthony wasn't always as violent as he is now. He was there for Mama when she was dealing with Pa’s death. He was her prince charming, and made her smile in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long time. When Mama was happy, everyone was happy. Or at least that is what I thought.

Mama met Anthony while she was working. He was one of her clients and he, as he says, couldn't get enough of her. I never thought of my mother’s job as anything that someone enjoyed doing, and it was actually quite disgusting. She stood on her corner doing ungodly things with several ungodly men, and I could tell she didn't want to be stuck doing it anymore. The way her eyes would stare into mine was almost painful. It was as if she was looking for something inside of them. Something I could never provide for her. Mama was never home, and I think she realized how much stress that was putting on me. I guess you can say it was putting a lot of stress on all of us.

The more Mama stopped coming home the more aggressive Anthony became. He was starting to neglect Jacob which was something he never did before. I remember one day he said he doubted Jacob was even his child, then went on to call Mama a slut. I couldn’t help but wonder if he even realized what he was signing up for, but how couldn't he? He did marry a prostitute.

I found it very strange how Anthony was acting towards Jacob, but then his attitude towards me became worse also. It all began when he started bringing home cases of beer. The more days that passed by the more cases he brought with him. I could see it in his eyes that he was trying to bury something deep inside that he was feeling. I wonder if he realized how much it was changing him.

Chapter 5

“Wake up.” I could hear a familiar voice calling as I began to regain consciousness.

It was a voice that I had heard so often. Yet the person in which it was attached to seemed to be no more than a stranger these days. I soon felt the warmth of his hands nudging me. Pushing me to open my eyes and listen to his voice. Part of me wanted to just lie there until I could no longer feel anything. But the other parts screamed “What about Jacob?”. When I opened my eyes I found myself staring into Cameron’s. At that moment I felt like we were children again. Playing in the back yard as we always did. Those were the days when we both used to smile. Now, the only expressions that you can find on our faces are states of motivation. And that is the motivation to escape the best way we knew how.

Once I was finally awake, it seemed as though Cameron was never even there, and there was no trace of him to be found. Only a bloody iron and a careless man who seemed to know nothing of his doings. Anthony never seemed to remember anything that went on in that house. Mostly because he was always drunk and basically unconscious himself.

“ Did Cameron tell you where he was going?” I began to ask Anthony before I was interrupted by a loud noise coming from the TV.

“Breaking news, we have reports of a young man who was shot in Veterans Park earlier today. He was believed to be involved in some sort of gang dispute that did not end pretty. The young man has yet to be identified and is being held in critical care.”

Before the reporter could finish what she was saying I felt every piece of my heart shatter. Every word pierced into my body and I had no doubt that they were talking about Cameron. My brain told me to run to that hospital as fast as I could, but my feet seemed to think otherwise. They sat there like boulders and went nowhere. Every inch of my body was frozen in place and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't even think to call Mama and if I did I am sure no words would even come out.

Once I finally got control of my body I ran back to Jacob. He was fast asleep so I decided not to bother him. I picked up my coat and grabbed the keys and left. I knew Anthony would probably kill me for taking his car, but at this point it didn't even matter. I had to be there for my brother just like he was there for me.

“What room is Cameron Victor in?” I asked the lady at the front.

My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to pass out right then and there. Every sound in that hospital made me flinch.

“I'm sorry ma’am, but we do not have a Cameron Victor checked in here.” she informed me.

I then remembered the reporter saying that the person had not been identified yet.

“The young man who was brought in earlier who was shot in Veterans park. I believe he is my brother and I really need to know what room he is in right now.” I said to the woman angrily without meaning to.

I saw in her eyes that I had frightened her a bit, but I could also see that she saw how frantic I was about the whole situation. She began to type something on her computer then turned to me.

“He is in room 834.” she said as calmly as she possibly could.

I ran as fast as I could to the elevator which seemed to take years to get to me, and once I finally got to the 8th floor I could hardly even wait for the doors to open. My heart was now a drumline that seemed to never keep a steady beat, and I swear it was ready to land on the floor.

Once I finally got to the room, my feet decided to become solid ice again. I stood staring at the number 8 on the door and couldn't do much of anything else. I tried to keep count of every pound my heart made, but its speed was too rapid to keep up with. All of the sounds of the hospital soon seemed to be drowned out until the only sound that I could hear was coming through my chest.

From the corner of my eye, I could see my hand reach for the doorknob without my control. Even though my body seemed to be ready to find out if what I felt in my heart was true, my eyes tried the best they could to keep from looking. When I finally forced my eyes to open, I found myself in the hospital room. The coldness of the room caused chills to spread to every inch of my body, and I could feel my bones shiver.

I realized I had forgotten my glasses at home, so the face that belonged to the young man laying there in the hospital bed looked like nothing more than a blur. I knew that I had to move closer to be able to see if it was Cameron, but I was timid to do so. I don't think the fear was finding out who it was, but finding out how I would react if it was him.

I moved as close to the bed as I was comfortable to be. He was lying there with his mouth wide open. I could see the end of the tube poking out from his throat, and that was the moment I knew that he wasn't going to make it. My heart began to slow down just enough for me to be able to examine his body. The way that they had his eyes taped down it was hard for me to tell if it was Cameron or not, but I knew that all I had to do was look for the scar on his right thumb. As my eyes began to search for his hand, I could feel the water works making their appearance in my eyes. The only thing that seemed to stop them from exploding was the uncertainty of who it really was lying there. I slowly moved the cover from off of the boy’s hand and instantly felt my heart stop.

Every machine in the room started to spaz. There were sounds coming from every direction and I wasn't sure if I had done something wrong. Nurses began to stream in like water in a flood and everything that happened after became nothing more than noise and confusion. The tears shot out of my eyes and hit everything in its way. My heart was now in my stomach, and my brain understood only one thing.

“NOOOOOO!” I could hear myself scream through all of the noise happening in the background.

If what I had just discovered was what I thought it was, then I had just lost my best friend. I walked into the house and Anthony was sitting directly in front of the door waiting for my return. I was so distraught that I didn't even notice that he was screaming at me. I went straight past Jacob's room and didn't even bother to check on him.

The only thing that I could think about was how Cameron could have possibly been in that park when he was here waking me up moments before. The thought gave me nothing but confusion and with that I just wanted to sleep. Not just a normal sleep where I would wake up the next morning, but a sleep where I never had to return.

I found myself sitting at my desk in front of a pen, a paper, and a bottle of pills. I stared blankly at the label on the pill bottle which read “Take one tablet every morning”. I poured them all into the table and imagined life without Cameron. I didn't even know if I would be able to handle Anthony and his abuse without knowing that Cameron wouldn't be there to save me. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

I picked up the ten pills that were scattered on the table and slowly moved them towards my mouth. With every second that went by, I tried to find a reason why I should even bother to stay alive. My mother was the first thing that crossed my mind, but I realized that she probably wouldn't even notice that I wasn't there. I didn't even bother to think of Anthony as an option. He would probably praise my death if he even remembered that I existed. Before I could find the next name to never mind in my brain, I heard a knock at my door. At first, I thought to just ignore it and pretend I was asleep, but then I heard something that took me out of my daze.

“Ty are you in there?”Jacob asked concerned

The sound of his voice brought me back to reality, and I instantly felt hate in myself for even thinking he’d be alright without me. If I was going to be going anywhere, he would be going with me.

I quickly made my way to the door and ushered Jacob in. When I sat him down on the bed, he had tears trickling down his cheeks. I couldn't help but stare at him, but this time when I did it wasn't the way I usually did. I was so used to seeing his smiling face that these tears confused me. I wondered if he knew anything about what had happened today, but how could he? The news still didn't know who the victim was and I hadn't told anyone.

“What’s the matter Jacob?" I asked, not sure if I actually wanted to know the answer.

Jacob looked at me and his eyes screamed for help. His mouth opened a little as if he wanted to pile every thought of his into my ear, but then it closed in a matter of seconds. That bit of a gesture sent my heart back into my stomach. I knew what he wanted to tell me, and I knew what I had to do.

“Did someone hurt you? Jacob, you know that you can trust me.” I said, trying to match Jacob’s eyes to mine.

His eyes seemed to avoid contact with mine, and all of these signs seemed all too familiar. They sent flashbacks through my mind like fireworks. Suddenly it was like I was reading his mind, and every thought he had matched every one of mine.

I began to fill up with rage and everything around me appeared to go blank. I lost all control of what my body was doing, but I saw everything. The darker the room got the more screams I could hear. I wanted to drown it all out and escape everything that was happening, but I couldn't. I heard and felt every moment, but the worst part of all is the memories will never disappear.