Hope For An Escape (Ch 2-6)

Chapter 2

I slowly inch my way into the cold living room where Anthony was sleeping on the couch with an empty beer bottle lying on his chest, and ten more surrounding him. His mouth was pried open with drool sneaking its way down his cheeks. The sound of his snoring created a sense of annoyance in me. I clench a fist next to me and slowly raise it above his drool covered cheek.

“One day.”, I said to myself as I quickly retracted my arm back to my side.

I make my way back to Jacob’s room to check on him. When I see him, he is playing with his army men that I bought him last Christmas. I stood by the door and couldn't help but smile.

“You’re growing up so fast.”, I say to myself.

Jacob suddenly turns and sees me at the door.

“Ty!.”, he screams as he runs up to give me a big hug.

“How was school today?” I ask while squeezing him in my arms.

“It was great”, he began “But I missed you a lot.”

I pause for a second to reminisce on what he had just said. My heart began to fill with a sense of warmth which I never wanted to end. Before I could even get a chance to reply, I hear a rumble coming from Jacob’s stomach, and with this, I am immediately angered. I quickly scoop Jacob into my arms and storm back into the living room making as much noise as I possibly could.

“Anthony wake up right now!”, I say angrily while sitting Jacob at the kitchen table.

“W-what?”, Anthony says, startled.

“Why haven't you fed my little brother?” I ask in a voice just loud enough not to scare Jacob.

“What the fuck are you talking about Tyson?” Anthony asks while wiping the drool from his cheek.

“Jacob is starving.” I proclaim aggressively.

My heart begins to thump loudly after hearing a dish break in the living room. I pause in the fear of what would happen next. I can hear Anthony’s footsteps moving closer to the kitchen, and with every hit of his shoe against the hardwood floor I wanted to run because I knew what was going to come next.

“What the hell did you just say to me?” he asked in great hostility.

The way that his eyes glared at me sent chills over every inch of my skin. I reran every word through my head from the last five minutes. I knew exactly where I messed up and I am not sure how far he will go this time. I slowly turn around to him standing directly in front of me. His eyes bloodshot red and his veins almost ready to pop straight through his neck. I could feel his breath clash against my face with every exhale. As I tried as best I could to avoid eye contact, I failed to notice the iron in his hand.

“Answer me bitch!” he yelled.

The smell of his alcoholic breath filled my nostrils. I tried the best I could not to gag at the sickening smell, but it was nearly impossible. When I finally got the courage to respond, it was already too late. The moment that I looked up, the iciness of the iron’s metal struck against my forehead. It took what felt like an eternity for me to readjust to my current situation. I felt the warmth of my own blood slowly making its way down my face. Before I could get the chance to panic I could no longer see anything.

Chapter 3

They say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. If you ask me, I would say I've died several times, and every time was even more traumatic than the last. Death is not how the people describe it on LMN. Sometimes there aren't people to write about it. Sometimes there aren't even people to realize that it has happened. Even though they were there the whole time.

Anthony wasn't always as violent as he is now. He was there for Mama when she was dealing with Pa’s death. He was her prince charming, and made her smile in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long time. When Mama was happy, everyone was happy. Or at least that is what I thought.

Mama met Anthony while she was working. He was one of her clients and he, as he says, couldn't get enough of her. I never thought of my mother’s job as anything that someone enjoyed doing, and it was actually quite disgusting. She stood on her corner doing ungodly things with several ungodly men, and I could tell she didn't want to be stuck doing it anymore. The way her eyes would stare into mine was almost painful. It was as if she was looking for something inside of them. Something I could never provide for her. Mama was never home, and I think she realized how much stress that was putting on me. I guess you can say it was putting a lot of stress on all of us.

The more Mama stopped coming home the more aggressive Anthony became. He was starting to neglect Jacob which was something he never did before. I remember one day he said he doubted Jacob was even his child, then went on to call Mama a slut. I couldn’t help but wonder if he even realized what he was signing up for, but how couldn't he? He did marry a prostitute.

I found it very strange how Anthony was acting towards Jacob, but then his attitude towards me became worse also. It all began when he started bringing home cases of beer. The more days that passed by the more cases he brought with him. I could see it in his eyes that he was trying to bury something deep inside that he was feeling. I wonder if he realized how much it was changing him.

Chapter 4

“Tyson.” I heard Anthony call from his bedroom.

I was a bit afraid to see what he wanted because I have never been in his room before. Especially not when he was drunk. I slowly got out of my bed and walked to his door.

“Yes?” I answered hesitantly.

“Come here and lay with me.” He said in a real sweet and soft voice.

My heart began to pound faster with every vibration of his tone. I was afraid to turn the corner because I didn't know what to expect. I wanted to believe that he wasn’t going to do what I thought he was going to do, but for some reason it was all I could think of. When I turned into the doorway Anthony was lying on his side. He was glaring at me with a stare that I have never seen from him before, and it gave me chills that overpowered every inch of my body. With every step I took I wanted to turn back around and run, but it was almost like his eyes took over me. I saw the motion of his hand moving under the covers and that was the moment that I knew things would never be the same.

“Sit right here baby girl.” he said while patting his hand at an empty space next to him.

I sat down not knowing exactly to expect.

“Please be gentle.” I thought to myself.

That was the only thing that was running through my head, and it replayed like a broken record. I could feel my heart now pumping through my chest as if it were going to burst straight through. I felt his finger run slowly down my arm, and I couldn't help but let out a breath so big that I thought I would never be able to inhale another.

“I have been waiting for this day for so long.”, Anthony said in a voice that was almost a whisper.

He was so close I could feel his breath make its way down my neck. The smell of the alcohol terrified me even more than it probably should. I knew he wasn’t himself and there was no way I would be able to stop him, and a part of me was even afraid to.

“Wait, I need to go check on Jacob.” I said in a complete whisper.

I thought maybe this would be the only way I could get him to let me go, but I was wrong. The words seemed to trigger him, and he became angered. His sweet eyes turned bright red and now my heart was pounding harder than I ever imagined it would.

“It’s always about Jacob. Jacob this and Jacob that. Now it’s time for you to take care of me.”, He barked in a voice that sounded a lot like the cartoons made demons sound.

I wanted to scream in horror, but I was afraid that I would wake Jacob.

“No! Stop!” I finally managed to get out.

“Shut the fuck up bitch! You’re always parading around here. You know your ass wants me. Besides, you’re a slut just like your mother and that is all you will ever be.”

The way that he spoke frightened me even more. He quickly grabbed me and threw me on my back. I closed my eyes afraid of what would happen next. His hand wrapped around my neck and I was sure this would be my last day. All I could think about was Jacob. I didn't want him to have to deal with the torture of his father like I had to, and I did something that I never did before, i prayed.

“Lord if you let me live tonight I promise I’ll do everything in my life to keep Jacob alive.”

Shortly after, I felt his hand rub over my breast. It then made its way down to my panties, and I began to shake with fear of what would happen next. His finger rubbed up and down my panties and I couldn’t move. Suddenly, I could feel the weight of Anthony’s body move from off of mine. I thought maybe that was all he was going to do, but once again I was wrong.

I could hear the sound of Anthony’s belt buckle, and I knew what was coming next. Anthony forcefully pulled my panties off of me and climbed back on top. At this point, I was almost paralyzed. My eyes closed as hard as they possibly could and I was hardly even breathing. All of a sudden, I felt a rush of pain fill my whole body. I couldn’t escape it and I didn’t know what to do. I could feel him moving in and out of my body and with every time, the more pressure I felt.

I wanted to burst into tears, but I didn't want him to see how much I was hurting. I had to be strong. The grunts that escaped his mouth gave me even more fear. They reminded me of the sounds of the bears at the zoo screaming to be let out. I felt him roll off from on top of me causing all of his weight to be poured into the empty space of mattress next to me. I wasn't sure if I was safe to get up, so I decided to lie there until I was sure he was asleep. It felt like an eternity for him to drift off, and every time I thought he was asleep, he would shift a bit.

When I finally decided it was safe, I got up and snuck out into the hall. Jacob was still fast asleep and I didn't want to wake him. I went into the bathroom and started a bath. As I stripped out of the blood stained clothes that still remained on my body, I could still feel myself throbbing from Anthony forcing himself inside of me. I knew that when he woke up, he wouldn't even remember what he had just done to me. I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw nothing but disgust. I couldn't even recognize myself. I could feel the tears forming in the corners of my eyes, and I could not conceal them any longer.

“You are just like your slutty mother.” I said staring into the eyes of my own reflection.

Chapter 5

“Wake up.” I could hear a familiar voice calling as I began to regain consciousness.

It was a voice that I had heard so often. Yet the person in which it was attached to seemed to be no more than a stranger these days. I soon felt the warmth of his hands nudging me. Pushing me to open my eyes and listen to his voice. Part of me wanted to just lie there until I could no longer feel anything. But the other parts screamed “What about Jacob?”. When I opened my eyes I found myself staring into Cameron’s. At that moment I felt like we were children again. Playing in the back yard as we always did. Those were the days when we both used to smile. Now, the only expressions that you can find on our faces are states of motivation. And that is the motivation to escape the best way we knew how.

Once I was finally awake, it seemed as though Cameron was never even there, and there was no trace of him to be found. Only a bloody iron and a careless man who seemed to know nothing of his doings. Anthony never seemed to remember anything that went on in that house. Mostly because he was always drunk and basically unconscious himself.

“ Did Cameron tell you where he was going?” I began to ask Anthony before I was interrupted by a loud noise coming from the TV.

“Breaking news, we have reports of a young man who was shot in Veterans Park earlier today. He was believed to be involved in some sort of gang dispute that did not end pretty. The young man has yet to be identified and is being held in critical care.”

Before the reporter could finish what she was saying I felt every piece of my heart shatter. Every word pierced into my body and I had no doubt that they were talking about Cameron. My brain told me to run to that hospital as fast as I could, but my feet seemed to think otherwise. They sat there like boulders and went nowhere. Every inch of my body was frozen in place and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't even think to call Mama and if I did I am sure no words would even come out.

Once I finally got control of my body I ran back to Jacob. He was fast asleep so I decided not to bother him. I picked up my coat and grabbed the keys and left. I knew Anthony would probably kill me for taking his car, but at this point it didn't even matter. I had to be there for my brother just like he was there for me.

“What room is Cameron Victor in?” I asked the lady at the front.

My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to pass out right then and there. Every sound in that hospital made me flinch.

“I'm sorry ma’am, but we do not have a Cameron Victor checked in here.” she informed me.

I then remembered the reporter saying that the person had not been identified yet.

“The young man who was brought in earlier who was shot in Veterans park. I believe he is my brother and I really need to know what room he is in right now.” I said to the woman angrily without meaning to.

I saw in her eyes that I had frightened her a bit, but I could also see that she saw how frantic I was about the whole situation. She began to type something on her computer then turned to me.

“He is in room 834.” she said as calmly as she possibly could.

I ran as fast as I could to the elevator which seemed to take years to get to me, and once I finally got to the 8th floor I could hardly even wait for the doors to open. My heart was now a drumline that seemed to never keep a steady beat, and I swear it was ready to land on the floor.

Once I finally got to the room, my feet decided to become solid ice again. I stood staring at the number 8 on the door and couldn't do much of anything else. I tried to keep count of every pound my heart made, but its speed was too rapid to keep up with. All of the sounds of the hospital soon seemed to be drowned out until the only sound that I could hear was coming through my chest.

From the corner of my eye, I could see my hand reach for the doorknob without my control. Even though my body seemed to be ready to find out if what I felt in my heart was true, my eyes tried the best they could to keep from looking. When I finally forced my eyes to open, I found myself in the hospital room. The coldness of the room caused chills to spread to every inch of my body, and I could feel my bones shiver.

I realized I had forgotten my glasses at home, so the face that belonged to the young man laying there in the hospital bed looked like nothing more than a blur. I knew that I had to move closer to be able to see if it was Cameron, but I was timid to do so. I don't think the fear was finding out who it was, but finding out how I would react if it was him.

I moved as close to the bed as I was comfortable to be. He was lying there with his mouth wide open. I could see the end of the tube poking out from his throat, and that was the moment I knew that he wasn't going to make it. My heart began to slow down just enough for me to be able to examine his body. The way that they had his eyes taped down it was hard for me to tell if it was Cameron or not, but I knew that all I had to do was look for the scar on his right thumb. As my eyes began to search for his hand, I could feel the water works making their appearance in my eyes. The only thing that seemed to stop them from exploding was the uncertainty of who it really was lying there. I slowly moved the cover from off of the boy’s hand and instantly felt my heart stop.

Every machine in the room started to spaz. There were sounds coming from every direction and I wasn't sure if I had done something wrong. Nurses began to stream in like water in a flood and everything that happened after became nothing more than noise and confusion. The tears shot out of my eyes and hit everything in its way. My heart was now in my stomach, and my brain understood only one thing.

“NOOOOOO!” I could hear myself scream through all of the noise happening in the background.

If what I had just discovered was what I thought it was, then I had just lost my best friend. I walked into the house and Anthony was sitting directly in front of the door waiting for my return. I was so distraught that I didn't even notice that he was screaming at me. I went straight past Jacob's room and didn't even bother to check on him.

The only thing that I could think about was how Cameron could have possibly been in that park when he was here waking me up moments before. The thought gave me nothing but confusion and with that I just wanted to sleep. Not just a normal sleep where I would wake up the next morning, but a sleep where I never had to return.

I found myself sitting at my desk in front of a pen, a paper, and a bottle of pills. I stared blankly at the label on the pill bottle which read “Take one tablet every morning”. I poured them all into the table and imagined life without Cameron. I didn't even know if I would be able to handle Anthony and his abuse without knowing that Cameron wouldn't be there to save me. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

I picked up the ten pills that were scattered on the table and slowly moved them towards my mouth. With every second that went by, I tried to find a reason why I should even bother to stay alive. My mother was the first thing that crossed my mind, but I realized that she probably wouldn't even notice that I wasn't there. I didn't even bother to think of Anthony as an option. He would probably praise my death if he even remembered that I existed. Before I could find the next name to never mind in my brain, I heard a knock at my door. At first, I thought to just ignore it and pretend I was asleep, but then I heard something that took me out of my daze.

“Ty are you in there?” Jacob asked concerned

The sound of his voice brought me back to reality, and I instantly felt hate in myself for even thinking he’d be alright without me. If I was going to be going anywhere, he would be going with me.

I quickly made my way to the door and ushered Jacob in. When I sat him down on the bed, he had tears trickling down his cheeks. I couldn't help but stare at him, but this time when I did it wasn't the way I usually did. I was so used to seeing his smiling face that these tears confused me. I wondered if he knew anything about what had happened today, but how could he? The news still didn't know who the victim was and I hadn't told anyone.

“What’s the matter Jacob?” I asked, not sure if I actually wanted to know the answer.

Jacob looked at me and his eyes screamed for help. His mouth opened a little as if he wanted to pile every thought of his into my ear, but then it closed in a matter of seconds. That bit of a gesture sent my heart back into my stomach. I knew what he wanted to tell me, and I knew what I had to do.

“Did someone hurt you? Jacob, you know that you can trust me.” I said, trying to match Jacob’s eyes to mine.

His eyes seemed to avoid contact with mine, and all of these signs seemed all too familiar. They sent flashbacks through my mind like fireworks. Suddenly it was like I was reading his mind, and every thought he had matched every one of mine.

I began to fill up with rage and everything around me appeared to go blank. I lost all control of what my body was doing, but I saw everything. The darker the room got the more screams I could hear. I wanted to drown it all out and escape everything that was happening, but I couldn't. I heard and felt every moment, but the worst part of all is the memories will never disappear.

Chapter 6

“Tyson!” I heard a voice scream from what seemed to be miles away.

The familiarity of it sent chills down my spine and the room began to grow bright again. For a moment I couldn't seem to remember who the voice belonged to but for some reason I knew I loved it.

When my eyes opened all I could see was broken fragments everywhere. The note that I had written which was sitting on my desk was now lying on the floor next to the ‘The Lord Of the Flies’ book that I was supposed to be reading for school. Every piece of clothing I owned seemed to be scattered in every direction of my bedroom, and Jacob exactly where I had left him. His eyes were filled with fear and I wasn't sure exactly how I should react to that.

When I turned to face the door I saw Mama standing there with an expression that read nothing more than shock. The way she looked at me turned my chills into mosquito bites, and the feeling that I had from love to never ending disappointment.

I haven't seen Mama in so long. She looked older and so tired. Her face was covered in makeup and the smell coming from her caused my nostrils to flare. Part of me wanted to run up to her and give her the biggest hug I possibly could, but the other part of me saw only a stranger. The only thing that either of us seemed to be able to do was stare at each other then the floor, and finally back at each other again.

Mama suddenly shook her head and walked away. It was as if she were expecting something different. Maybe a rush of admiration, or even a bunch of smiles. Although to me those things seemed far-fetched, I couldn't blame her for thinking about it. There is no way she could have known what has been going on around here. She doesn't see the abuse or the neglect, and she doesn't even know that Cameron is... gone.

I looked back over to Jacob who was still crying. He had an expression of fear still stapled onto his face. Every time I walked nearer to him I could see him flinch a bit. I don't want him to be scared of me, but he's only five so all he knows is what he sees.

I kneel down in front of Jacob and hold his hands. I stare at him trying the best I could to match eye contact with him again. I wanted to explain to him what had happened but nothing seemed to want to come out. All I could do was look at him. The look in his eyes reminded me of those of a frightened puppy. I wanted so badly to hug him, but every time I leaned in, all I could think about was the hurt I saw in his eyes.

“I love you Jacob.” I said while standing up.

I leaned over and gave Jacob a big kiss on his forehead and slowly let go of his hand. I turned and walked out towards the bathroom where I saw Mama staring blankly at her own reflection. I could tell that she didn't know who she was anymore. Her face showed only lifeless expression. This was the moment I realized that I wasn't the only one hoping.

I walked towards Mama slowly and when she sees me she goes back to putting on her mascara. The first thing that I could think to do was wrap my arms around her and give her the biggest hug possible. I could feel her ribs pressing against my arms and I could almost reach my own shoulders. If I squeezed anymore I might break her.

When I look up into momma’s eyes in the mirror, I could see the tears begin to fill them. I didn't want to let go but I knew she had to get back to work soon. I also knew I had to tell her about Cameron but I wasn't sure if it was the right time. I also wasn't quite sure if I should tell her about Jacob.

“Mama.” I said , trying to put all of the words together in my head.

“Yes sweetie?” Mama said in a voice that sounded almost sickly.

When Mama looked up to match eye contact I could see the bags under her eyes. It was as if she had cried every tear she had inside of her. I swallowed nervously, relieving the lump from my throat just enough to tell her what I needed to say.

“Cameron is umm…” I began to say.

I was sure that she could feel my heart beating through my chest. I could see the anxiousness grow more and more in her eyes. She was now looking at me with a look of curiosity.

“Cameron is dead.” I finally managed to say almost too fast for even myself to understand.

Mama’s eyes quickly returned lifeless again. I couldn't tell what she was thinking and part of me didn't want to.