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The sun warmed my face as I lay under the only Pear tree on our land, my favorite spot on the ranch, and with storm clouds rolling in, my mind was doing its best thinking.

The news of dad hiring a new foreman for the ranch had shaken up my nerves more than it should’ve. Not only because the new cowboy happened to be my childhood crush, first love, and high school sweetheart, but because I didn’t even know he was back in town and retired from the rodeo circuit.

What the hell did dad think he was doing by hiring Levi without telling me? And why in the hell did Levi even apply to the position on my family's ranch?

Hanging R was one of the biggest cattle ranches in Texas and supplied beef and rodeo stock all over the state. It was a no-brainer he'd want to apply here, but there were hundreds of other cattle operations he could go to. Ones without history, love, and heartache.

The thunder rolled, bringing me back to reality and ironically matching the storm brewing in my head and with the horse rustling in the distance, this mental battle would have to figure itself out later.

Riding back to the barn, I caught a glance of Levi...after almost five years. God, how could he possibly be more gorgeous. His muscles peaked through the pearl snap shirt as the wind began to pick up. His tanned, weathered skin gave him that honest cowboy presence and when he finally looked up, his sky blue eyes caused her heart to drop to her stomach and a heat to rise in her cheeks.

Crap. Why did he still affect my body this way? She had a sinking feeling that he always will.

“Matti” he drawled and tipped his hat to her. A smirk was all she could muster up and led Violet, her horse, to the barn.

Once her horse was brushed and her tack was put up, she took her time petting and talking to the other horses until the rain began to fall on the tin roof. Pulling her coat over her head, she made her way out of the barn, drawing in a deep breath knowing that she’d have to face her old flame sooner or later.

On her way to the main house, the rain came down harder “Matilda Reed, take off those shoes as you come into this house young lady” her mama called through the house as she continued with dinner. “Yes ma’am” I groaned, but smiled.

The aroma of the house filled her senses and made her relax a bit, home she thought as she tugged off her boots. The past few years she’d spent away at college had her missing the ranch more than ever and her parents had visited as much as they could, but running a ranch didn’t allot for too many vacation days. It was good to be home and finally put her Ag Comm degree to good use.

The screen door slammed, pulling her out of her thoughts. The rugged cowboy sat next to her, the scent of leather hitting her right in the pit of her stomach. I stood to make my way to the kitchen, but was pulled back when Levi caught me by the wrist. Whirling around to face him dead on, our faces inches apart “you can’t avoid me forever Mats...” he breathed. I closed my eyes as his hands closed around mine, the sound of his voice and the nickname that only he called me had me feeling lightheaded and dizzy.

After a few seconds of staring into his eyes, willing myself to speak, I dropped my shoulders “no, but now’s not the time Levi...” I swallowed the ball in my throat and stepped away from his embrace.

“Need any help mama?” I called as I passed through the kitchen? “No sweetie, just go ahead and get washed up and tell your brothers and father dinner is ready.” Nodding, I left to climb the stairs, needing a few minutes and a splash of cold water on my face to get my head back on straight.

The rain was pounding on the old farmhouse roof, making it through dinner was easier than anticipated, but laying here in my bed knowing Levi was next door in the guest cabin was eating me alive. He was right, I couldn’t ignore him forever.

Sighing, I rolled out of bed and grabbed my raincoat, silently easing downstairs. It was only nine o’clock, but that was late when ranch mornings came so early. A part of me wondered if he would be sleeping and I could wiggle my way out of this awkward situation. No such luck, as I stepped onto the screened in porch I saw his cabin was still illuminated in the dark stormy night. Taking my time to pull on my rain boots, I tried to settle my racing heart, but it was no use.

Levi answered the door in a rush, his face twisting in confusion when he saw me standing in the rain. “Mattie, what the hell. Are you trying to get yourself sick?” He said as he pulled me into the small one bedroom cabin, leading me to the fire place to sit. I shrugged out of my coat and stood there in awe of the old cabin, my favorite building on the ranch with it’s original 1800s charm, it was hard not to feel so at home inside. Of course, Levi’s presence had always given me a sense of home and peace when I was wrapped in his arms.

“I..um..” I tried to talk over the emotions building in my throat. “You’re right in that we can’t work together ignoring each other.” The words came out in a whisper, causing him to step closer. Stepping backward, I caught my foot on the rug and started to fall backward. Levi reached out and pulled me upright, but closer to his strong body. Wrapping me in his arms would be the last straw, causing a break down or a lash out I wasn’t sure, but I needed to create some space between us. “Mats...” he muttered, his hurt evident in me stepping out of his embrace.

“Don’t!” The word coming off my tongue louder than intended. “Don’t you dare call me that.” His demeanor dropped “And don’t you dare act like we can fix this mess between us.” The poisonous words were falling out of my mouth without any intention of stopping. “Because there’s no use. Why’d you even take this job? I know you don’t need the money after your winnings on the circuit and I sure as hell know you weren’t injured causing an early retirement, so why Levi? Why did you come to a ranch you sure as hell aren’t welcomed on?” The last sentence came out before I could stop it and retracting the statement now was useless. His face and body language was of pure shock and hurt, but I stood strong.

He rose after a few minutes of eerie silence and walked towards me. “I never meant things to turn out the way they did Mattie..” He sighed and stopped in front of me. Those gorgeous eyes held so much hurt, it killed me to look at him.

“So then why…” I choked, tears threatening to fall.

“I was young and stupid. I wanted the rodeo dream and you wanted an education. After that first win, I knew I’d never be able to compete with the life and the world you had set in your mind. I didn’t know what else to do, but push you away and make you realize how much better off you were without me.”

That was it, the last words I actually expected to hear. The dam broke and the tears streamed down my face. He stepped closer to me, cupping my face and gently wiping the tears off my face.

“But I loved you. Didn’t you know I would’ve given up my dreams to be with you?” I hung my head in shame in finally admitting the truth to him and to myself.

“Baby” He whispered as he pulled me into his strong arms. “I did know that and I couldn’t let you give up your dream to go to college in hopes of running this place some day.” He tightened his grip around me. “What I didn’t realize was, you were my dream and rodeo was a hobby...that’s why" he paused, "that's why I came back.” He moved his hands to the nape of my neck, pulling my face up to look at his “I came back to beg for another chance in hopes that you hadn’t moved on.” He leaned in closer and gently touched his lips to mine.

At that moment I let myself relax and give into the kiss I'd been craving after all these years.

“I’m still so in love with you Mats” he drawled as he pulled away.

“I’m still in love with you too, Lee. It’s always been you, you crazy cowboy” I said laughing through my tears and swollen lips. Finally, my world was right and I knew spending the rest of our days together was the only thing that made sense.