Finally Lucid

Finally Lucid

Three million people in this world, and loneliness sets in as if I were destined to join her for an eternity. Uncertainty is my life’s theme with no real purpose in sight. How could God have slighted me so? What could I have done in a past life to deserve such cruel treatment from the universe? A woman who walks through life alone is vulnerable, an outcast, unprotected. Yet here I am.

The truth is I do not care. My world is filled with lovers, partners, and soulmates, so it seems only fitting that I find a partner of my own.

We live here on this planet where we are the only beings able to procreate, the only living things for eons.

When I was little my mom used to tell me stories about humankind, and how there were beautiful trees and animals everywhere. Where the sun was not something to be feared but embraced and charged the planet with energy. It sounds magnificently beautiful.

Nothing like life here on Echelon, where everything is perfectly structured and even the ground we walk on is a projection or metals, and our surroundings are filled with graphics of what once was.

Even still the majority of the population pretends that it was never real, like life on Earth never existed, but I know the truth.

The end of the world came for our ancestors and our founders created this place so that we could live on. While our technology is far more advanced, we still have to start from scratch, which means for the past few generations the only thing we have known is to reproduce.

So, for a woman like me to spend her time dreaming of what once was, instead of finding the love of my life and breeding, I am looked at as sort of an outcast.

Although I want companionship, just as much as the next person, I do not care to actively search for something that is not real. This thought process is unheard of and considered wrong in every way.

So, I try to stay to myself. Completing my daily duties, reading, and then sleeping, every single day it is the same routine, with the occasional forced mandatory mating functions that our founders call necessary.

“Hey Alison!” Georgie calls from across the courtyard. Seeing that she is with her boyfriend, I continue to walk pretending not to hear her.

“Alison!” She persists, picking up her pace as they both jog over and fall into stride with me.

“Evening Georgie. Landon.” I walk with my head down and with a purpose. Trying not to make eye contact as not to give the wrong man the right impression that I desire him in any way. It has happened one too many times.

“Where are you headed?” Georgie asks.

“Oh, out by the border. And you two?”

“No not again.” Georgie stops me in my tracks with a tug on my arm.

“Alison, you have to stop going there. Get your head out of the stars and come with us to the dance tonight. It’ll be good for you.”

“No thank you. I really just want to sit and finish this book.” I politely tell her.

“Alison, you have to put forth some effort to find a mate, people will think you are a wildflower.” I can hear the pity in her voice and see the disdain in her eyes as she calls me the name they call women who are unable to reproduce or those who are not attracted to men.

“People will talk.”

“People? This is not how we were meant to live Georgie. We are not people anymore! We are robots with one mission. And the choice is mine, whether I choose to blindly follow the oppressing teachings that are really just lies.” She is my only “friend” here, but I know it because she feels bad for the outsider.

“I am sorry to upset you. It is just…you are a woman of a certain age without one single prospect. How are we all supposed to continue to grow and evolve as a people if women like you will not play your part?”

“Women like me huh? Wildflowers, right?” I now stand looking at her face to face into her dazzling hazel eyes, furious that we have to have this conversation once again.

“No. I didn’t mean-”

“Oh yes you did! You meant it. And that is okay. Call me a wildflower I wear that title proud. You know why? Because I will not conform to the bullshit role that everyone expects me to play. I have my own mind and I will use it at whatever cost. So let “people” talk. Let them throw around their dirty perverted words because you know what I am everything they say. “I am a wildflower. I am a nasty woman! And I’d wear that title boldly to my grave. But do not call this evolution.” I raise my hands gesturing to our counterfeit surroundings.

“This is anything but evolving, in fact if you knew anything about our history you would know that being forced into such subjective stereotypes is in fact going backwards, and I will not apologize for being the only one who sees and stands in the truth. Even if the rest of the world cannot understand that!”

Without allowing her to get another word in I run out of the courtyard to the border. The edge of our world, where I find the only solitude in the garden, I have ever known in my entire life.

The garden, as I call it, was created by those who did not want our history to be forgotten. They left it here so that we would not forget who we actually are and where we come from. It is mostly just a projection of the sun, flowers and at night it has a moon, but it is beautiful anytime of day. My favorite spot however is under the realest thing I have ever seen or felt in my life, the tree.

It does grow or anything, it just sits as a monument, a reminder of what life is supposed to be.

I crouch under the treat and settle into the fake soil that it rests on, with tears rolling down my face. This is what I mean by loneliness, being so misunderstood in this world is a burden I wish on no one.

Instead of reading my book I find myself digging through the magnetic dirt, enjoying the feel of it, wondering if this is what dirt really felt like, if this is what it felt like to be around living things.

In my playful exploration my hand stumbles on something hard. I pull the small metal item out to view it.

A heart shaped necklace. This is peculiar, because no one else comes out here, who could have planted it?

Dusting it off I see the word Dream on the front of it.

As I open it a neon blue light shines bright and then fades. Continuing to inspect the piece of jewelry, I can only think how strange it is and feels, but also feeling like I was meant to find it.

“A heart shaped locket” I whisper aloud. I am usually not one to wear jewelry, but I place the locket around my neck and leave the garden before whoever placed it comes back to retrieve it. I am no thief, but It just feels like it belongs to me.

As I walk back, I notice things small things begin to change right in front of my eyes. Instead of the perfect and lifeless civilization of Echelon, I see colors other than black, white, and grey. I can smell a sweet richness in the air.

Spinning in circles my wildest dreams are happening right in front me there are flowers and animals.

What I believe to be a dog, or what I imagine a dog to look like runs up and kneels in front of me. Unafraid I bend over and run my hands through its soft brown fur.

“What is happening?”

“You are dreaming aloud.” The dog speaks. Surprised that the canine can talk I pull away.

Then it begins to shift into a woman. A beautiful goddess of a woman, who’s tall and elegant figure tower mine. Her voice is both strong and graceful at the same time, with a soothing velvet undertone. I have never heard a sound so beautiful. Her hair flows with the wind, and her eyes are piercing, and oddly filled with intention.

“What are you?” I ask.

“Not what, but who?”

“Fine. Who are you?”

“I am a great many things, but today…. Today I am called Alison.” She smiles.

“I’m Alison.” As the words leave my mouth a sense of familiarity resonated over my body.

“Are you me?”

“I am your spirit yes.”

“Wait what is happening?”

“You are awakening dear.”

“Awakening? But how? I am already woke.”

“Woke indeed.” She chuckles.

“Your mind has been imprisoned, but your spirit was never broken. So yes, love you were already woke, but now you have gained the desire and power to do something about it.”

“Wait you’re telling me that I am in a prison right now? Why? And how? I don’t feel imprisoned.”

“But don’t you?” The madness she speaks is starting to make sense.

“You are a proud and fearless woman, and your enemies knew the only way to break you was to poison your mind, prey on your fears, and for many years they have done that. Until now.”

“What is so different about now?”

“Something has sparked a fire in you, and energy that used to come oh so naturally to you. Because of that, you have found your heart.”

I touch the heart shaped locket around my neck. I knew it belonged to me.

I smile at the thought that I was right.

“Now, let us not waste any more time.” She reaches for my hand, and instinctually reach back to hers.

Instead of touching we merge. A warm energy fills my body, and I can feel the life come back into me, as I become all that I am. My once dull hair flows, my pale and lifeless skin is now bronzed and glows as if it were kissed by the sun.

Power and energy surge through my body with a force unmatched.

I have found more than my heart. I have found myself!