Dear Diary

“Dear Diary,

The end was sudden, and bleak. Survivors of the end were left scrambling for resources as governments, leaderships, corporations’ etcetera had crumbled. People had to fend for themselves, and it turned ugly. With neighbour against neighbour, no sense of unity survived or occurred. Those first few days tempers flamed, fights occurred, fires blazed. But no one worked together, to solve the biggest crisis at hand: what to do?

The rich seemed to laugh it off at first, chuckling away in their mansions full of valuable possessions. Thinking money would buy their way out of it, as it always had in the past. But this time, eventually even they turned thieves, stealing at every opportunity. For currency, money currency, no longer existed after the end. Only bartering. A can of this for a packet of that. An hour of service for a few small bags of whatever was spare. The valuable possessions the rich once possessed, no longer held a value. Unless it was made of wood in which case it could be turned into firewood for heat during the long cold days, and eternally freezing nights.

The lower class were more prepared, less valuable, and more practical possessions. Used to hunger but knew when to feed the body. They didn’t have to resort to such desperate measures as the rich did, and yet….. they did. Whether it was from the thought of being free of capitalist restraints aka jail for theft, or just sick of being hungry, they had sunk to the same low measures as the rich did even though if they had played it smart, they would have come out on top.”

I stop writing for a moment to look at the only picture of my mum I have left and know for her generation’s story to be told I carry on.

“My mum and dad were married long before the end came about. He didn’t make it, but she was already four months pregnant with me when it happened. Luckily she had her family to rely on, to help her through the pregnancy and early years of my life. That is, till they got it. And then she just had me. A toddler. So whilst she offered her services at various shops to earn food for us both, I was kept an eye on by her neighbour who fortunately had not turned their back on her. They had an older son, who enjoyed having a toddler to teach and play with. Children were no longer allowed out to play with one another and school was a thing of the past. But he had been to enough school before the end that he was the one who taught me how to write my abc’s with a bit of chalk on the sidewalk. From there he taught me small words.

My mum was so grateful to our neighbour that she worked extra hard, to bring food back not just for us but for our neighbour too. My mum and our neighbour found an empty apartment not far from where we lived, one big enough for all of us to live together. So, bit by bit they moved all of our meagre possessions and food over there. The rooms were huge!!! But then I was only seven at this point and anything bigger than a room fitting a single bed plus furniture felt like a palace to me.

Then….. it took our neighbour too. I was too young to understand at the time why they weren’t there anymore, but the boy, the son… he understood. He unfortunately was wiser than his ten years should have been. He began to pack, and my mum asked him where he was going. He replied that since his parent was gone, he had no right to stay with us anymore. Well, my mum set him straight. She told him he was NOT going anywhere, that it was as much his home as it was ours and that she would provide for him still. He instantly burst into tears, the loss of his parent finally had taken its toll and my mums kind words were like the straw that broke the dam. My mum held him till his tears stopped, and according to him, I then gave him the biggest cuddle a seven-year-old could and gave him a kiss on the cheek.”

I stop writing once more looking up, and then get back to writing.

“We settled into a routine over the next several years, till I was able to be left on my own and Jake was able to go out with my mum working to earn food. With both of them working once I was twelve, we ate like kings as between the two of them they brought back enough for food for that night and to store away in case of emergencies. Jake and I in our spare time continued to learn, with my mum being our teacher. I was three years younger but I was treated equally, but no punishments were given; just praise. And Jake and I both thrived educationally.

When I turned eighteen, Jake asked me out on a date. I was so surprised, I thought he thought of me differently than I thought of him, but obviously not. We chose to go to the beach to watch the sunset, and it was wonderful. When we got back, he walked me to my room. That night everything would change for us though. When I woke, Jake was already awake sitting in the living room, but no sign of mum. She usually was in the kitchen at this time, so where was she was the first thought that ran through my head. I knocked on the bathroom door, shouting for her but no response so I tentatively opened the door. No one was there. So I headed to her bedroom next, and what I found, well will haunt me forever. It had taken her too.

I burst into tears and ran straight into Jake’s arms. He knew, from my reaction, what it was that had occurred. He just held me, and held me. And then he told me to stay where I was whilst he arranged mum’s body so I could say one last goodbye before we had to bury her. I stared into space as he stood up, but before he could take a step I asked if he could be gentle with her. He told me of course, he had nothing but respect for her. So, I let go of his hand, and he disappeared into her room. I anxiously awaited his call, and when it came I ran to the room. He had lifted her onto the bed, and made it look like it had taken her in her sleep.

I cried when I saw this, for the care he’d taken to show respect, not only to her but to me as well. I lied beside her, cuddling into her now cold body. I kept repeating how I was sorry and that I loved her, until strong hands, Jakes hands, curled around me lifting me off the bed. He took me through to the living room, telling me it wasn’t my fault, and that she loved me too. And he just held me. He held me until I was calm.

My mother’s body was buried that day, but her spirit lived on through me, at least that’s what I reminded myself every time it got hard. So the years passed by, governments rebuilt, leaderships were restored, and corporations were re-established. And with all this came back the class system, Jake and I were lucky enough to be deemed middle class due to our ability to learn a job quickly, efficiently, and both of us climbed our respective career ladders fast. But we were generous, if we saw a beggar, we would take them out for a meal and pay for a few nights at a hostel. Then Jake proposed, on the five-year anniversary of our first date with a diamond encrusted gold ring. Two years after that we were married. A year later, scientists announced what caused the end, an animal carried plague from China, spread by water droplets and animals.

Dated First of May of the year twenty-eighty-two”.

I put down my pen and look one last time at the only picture I have left of my mum, before I shut it away in the heart shaped locket that I wear that carries it and kiss my husband Jake who gave it to me.