Three Incredible Women

The most significant and valuable life lesson that I have had drilled into me that I still carry with me today, that the three most important ladies in my life shared in teaching me (at different points of my life) and two of the three continue to reinforce in reminding me is “never give up”. “three?” you may ask. Yes, my stubborn as a rock granny (my mums’ mother who has this year been gone for ten years now), my amazing mum, and the woman (who not so recently now) I had the pleasure to meet via video conference (due to the pandemic) my incredible step mum. Let us go through them one by one, starting with my stubborn granny.

The woman I knew as Granny, whilst was not perfect, was there in a heartbeat for me if I needed her, and during her short time in my life (thirteen and a half years) imparted many words of wisdom to me. These words of wisdom to my shame many I have forgotten now; except one lesson I will never forget and that is to “never give up”. My Granny may have lost her battle to the big C back in 2011 BUT she did not give up fighting.

She went through both chemo and radiation therapy treatments even though it would only give her a few extra months at most, she knew this and did it for us anyway, for her family! Even though we could have and should have lost her before the end of 2010, she fought to the very end and eventually lost her fight in early January 2011.

And this is the way I remember her living her life, she “never gave up”. Not on who she was, not on her beliefs and never ever gave up on her family. However, at the same time, “never giving up” meant not giving up bad habits either like sugary items when she had type two diabetes, or smoking (the habit which led to her big C and eventually her death). “Never giving up” made my granny stubborn but it also made her strong.

Strong enough to be a nurse in the army in her youth and whilst being a mother, strong enough to be a mother to three children with my grandfather by her side, strong enough to be a granny to the six out of nine grandchildren that she got to meet. AND strong enough to be my rock. Through all of this, she “never gave up” on who she was, on what was right or on her family. And that is the lesson and memory I am left with from my stubborn granny. Now let us move onto the woman I am blessed to call my amazing mum.

My mum has faced challenges in her life, some I understand, some I do not, and others I hope I never will. My mum was also a major influence in teaching me the lesson “never give up” as a young child. But from my mum I learned it from a different angle.

I learned that she will “never give up” on me or my siblings. No matter how many doctors blow her off and say there is nothing wrong with that child, she will push until finally one listens and takes an actual look. If it was not for my mum, my family may have missed a crucial developmental diagnosis for one of my siblings. If it were not for my mum’s lesson of “never give up”, I would not still be fighting for a diagnosis of PCOS, a diagnosis I am one step closer to now I am 23 than when I was 14.

Even though now as an adult I have been diagnosed with three moderately severe mental health diagnosis’s and several physical health diagnoses’ my mum has “never given up” on me. she may have taken steps back at times for my sake to help me grow but she has “never given up” on me, not for one minute.

Even though I am not in contact with my mum now, I know in my heart she has not “given up” on me and this is purely to help me. This separation reminds me, not to “give up”, to work harder on myself and try learning to love myself again. Now onto the woman I am lucky to call my incredible step mum.

Now you may be wondering why I say that my step mum helped teach me to “never give up” when she has only been in my life a short period of time. Well, when I first introduced myself to the woman, I now call my step mum, I already had the foundations and most of the pillars set for “never give up”. However, due to my mental instability at the time, it was hard to remember, but also there was one pillar missing, and that pillar was belief in myself to “never give up”. As I had “given up” so much already, because of lack of faith in myself or health reasons. But my step mum showed me and taught me its important to have faith in yourself to “never give up”. She also taught me to look at things positively, and this relates to “never giving up” because “why give up” on the positive.

All three remarkable women have influenced me and my life so far, and I would not be the strong person I am today without the influence and guidance I have received from them. So, I write this essay as a grateful individual to have received an important lesson from three extra extraordinary women that are and were part of my family. And I love them all.