Fiction logo

Dave's Story

A Story Every Day in 2024 Oct 3rd 277/366

By Rachel DeemingPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 2 min read
Top Story - October 2024
Dave's Story
Photo by Bianca Berndt on Unsplash

Laney always was precocious. It was me that bought her the camera. Point and click! I never thought that she'd follow me with it. Why would I? To Laney and Bethan, I had a job that took me away part of the week, the life of a salesman. I never gave them any cause to be suspicious of me but thinking back now, there must have been something that I did or said to make Laney come after me.

The morning she disappeared, before I went to work, she was surly and uncooperative. She confronted me. Bethan had already gone out and in those days, you'd never worry about your kids being left at home while you went off. The street was like a community: Mrs Wright at No. 22 would be keeping an eye out and Laney knew to go to her if there was any trouble.

"What are you doing today, Laney?" I asked, drinking my tea, eating toast.

"What do you care?" she said, staring at me, defiantly.

"Whoa! Watch your mouth, young lady!" I said, surprised at her attitude. It was unusual for Laney to be anything but sunny. "Everything alright with you?"

She shrugged but glared at me while I continued to eat my breakfast. And then she spoke.

"I saw you."

I looked up at her, her eyes blazing, anger palpable.

"What do you mean? Saw me?" It seemed a strange thing to say.

"Having a meal. With a woman."

My heart lurched.

"I saw you. With her."

That with was loaded.

Shit! I lived a risky life but the reward was high. I thought I'd never get found out but by my own daughter? Shit! I decided to bluff.

"I don't know what you mean."

I held her gaze, its venomous power even at 12 making my guts churn. Or was that guilt?

She sneered at me and said, "I knew you'd lie. That's why I got proof."

She turned, walking towards the front door.

"Now, just you wait a minute, young lady!" I went after her.

But she opened the door and three boys stood on the doorstep, the one called Mark saying, "Alright, Laney? Fancy the quarry?"

***

366 words

A confrontation; a double life; the chance of discovery: could these be motives for murder? But we know how Laney disappeared, don't we?

This all started with this story:

Yesterday's story:

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.

276/366

MicrofictionMysteryPsychological

About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:

Medium

My blog

Reedsy

Linkedin

Goodreads

X

Facebook

Beware of imitators.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments (27)

Sign in to comment
  • Ruth Stewartabout a year ago

    I like Laney. She has such a strong sense of right and wrong, so familiar in children. Paul said you were a great writer, and I think he is right!

  • Caitlin Charltonabout a year ago

    Okay, I really don’t like Dave. Dave sucks. Dave’s terrible, ugh!! Then laneys attitude, I don’t know whether to trust that either, even though it made sense. This would’ve been my reaction too. Oh no… this is where the boys first appeared, so to speak. This is why he has the camera… DAVE!!! This story is starting to hit too close to home now, I want to hide but I can’t stop reading ♥️👌🏽👏🏽

  • Ignited Mindsabout a year ago

    A gripping tale of secrets, guilt, and the tension between father and daughter.

  • A. J. Schoenfeldabout a year ago

    I've never trusted Dave...

  • Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago

    ⚡♥️⚡

  • Testabout a year ago

    I'm suddenly suspicious that Dave is the cause of her disappearance somehow... 🕵️‍♀️ Also, a belated congrats on Top Story!! I had to catch up on the saga before visiting here!! 😅

  • Testabout a year ago

    congrats , great work

  • Paul Stewartabout a year ago

    I'm obviously very behind because here I am offering congrats for Top Story and will come back to this piece when I've caught up with the story lol. Hope the chum is alright, this Saturday!

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    Back to say 'congratulations' on Top Story! It's well-earned!

  • Mark Gagnonabout a year ago

    It's hard to live a lie and never get caught. Maybe it isn't what it seems. Congrats on your TS, Rachel!

  • JBazabout a year ago

    I could have swaorn I was already subscribed to you. Well I am now

  • JBazabout a year ago

    That last line jsut took this from a oops I got caought to a OH SHIT I got caught. Love the simple and innocent start to this.

  • L.C. Schäferabout a year ago

    Ohhh now it makes sense! I should have read them in the right order 😁

  • MD RUKEL MIAabout a year ago

    Nice

  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    Oh but this could be really bad... but great writing, Rachel. It's keeping us enthralled and intrigued!

  • Caroline Cravenabout a year ago

    Oh. Dang. I thought Dave was going to be a good guy. I’m a terrible judge of character! I love this series Rachel.

  • John Coxabout a year ago

    Awesome twist, Rachel! Great stuff and hungry for more!

  • D.K. Shepardabout a year ago

    Knew it! Choices have consequences and I’m curious to see how Dave’s come to him

  • Silver Dauxabout a year ago

    This was NOT what I was expecting. What a twist!

  • J. L. Greenabout a year ago

    Oh. OH. The tides are turning!

  • Pamela Williamsabout a year ago

    I wasn't expecting that! Looking forward to more.

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    Okay, I believe that answers my "where did Katie come from" question. Excellent.

  • Gerard DiLeoabout a year ago

    Lots of crimes here. Well done.

  • Lana V Lynxabout a year ago

    Omg, Rachel, what a twist!

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2026 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.