Cub

A lion doesn't want to raise cubs that aren't his, so when a new lion joins a pride, he kills all the cubs to bring the lionesses into oestrus.

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The teachers say, You've been through a lot. And, Do you want to talk about it?

I don't want to talk about it.

Dad wants me to go and live with him, he says, I don't want to lose you, too, son. His eyes look red. But I want to stay with Ma. And Isaiah.

Liza tries to boss me around, just because she's a bit older, and Ma stays in bed a lot, but apart from that it's ok at home. Kind of empty, I guess. Okay. Real empty. But sometimes, if I'm thinking about something else for a bit, I can nearly forget. It's like they're in another room. Not really gone. Not completely.

I do like Isaiah. It's not like having Da around still. Although, he does sit in his chair. And sometimes he comes out of Ma's room in the mornings. Probably trying to persuade her to have breakfast.

It's more like having an older brother. One who's alright. Decent.

Mostly I stay because I can't leave Ma. She's been so sad since Loretta got ki- Since she died. And then. No. I said I don't want to talk about it, and I won't.

Only. When I think about her. Ma. Kneeling by the cot and wailing like that. Like an animal or something. It feels like... I don't know. I can't explain it. Like the world is breaking apart inside my chest. I can't leave her, and nor can Liza. We talked about it and we agreed we have to stay.

Please, Ellison, Da says. You'll be safer with me. I promise.

I don't know what he means. We're safe enough. Aren't we? Liza and me. What happened to Loretta was an accident. And cot death can just happen, that's what they said.

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Thank you for reading!

Comment warning for infant loss