Comic Sans vs. Times New Roman

Comic Sans vs. Times New Roman

By David Lastinger

Comic was new to the neighborhood. His dad had gotten a promotion that came with a required move. Comic didn't know much about what his dad did except that he was influential in his company. He worked with computers, and many people counted on him to do his job well.

Even worse, Comic didn't know anyone at the new school. That's always been scary for him to go to a new school and make friends. It seems that every time he made a good friend, they had to move again. Comic visited the new school's website just to get a feel for things. He saw many pictures of formally dressed students complete with ties and jackets. They had clubs like Debate Club, Chess Club, and even a Young Lawyers Club. He was freaking out a little bit. The schools that he came from in California were a lot more casual. Shorts, T-shirts, and backward baseball hats were more his style. His schools had clubs like Ski Club, Swim Club, Cycling Club, and even a Comedy Club.

The night before the first day of school, Comic complained of a weird tummy and didn't want to eat. His mom saw that he was fidgety and made him some mushroom tea. As she was tucking him in, she kissed him on the forehead and said, "You are important, and someday you will make your mark."

The following day, he nervously ate some breakfast and got dressed in the required school uniform. The long pants, button-down shirt, and tie were making him itch. Of course, the collar was tight. His new loafers were still stiff and shiny. He would have to scratch them up a bit. He did make sure that there was not a price tag on the soles.

His mom dropped him off, and he paused for a moment before walking in. Then, he remembered what his mom had told him the night before. He stood up tall, head held high, and marched into the classroom like a boss. Most of the students were already there, so he chose a seat near the back.

His teacher's name was Ms. Halle Vetica. She had been at the school for a while and was everyone's favorite teacher. She started the class by introducing Comic as the new kid. Most of the class clapped for him, save a few that just shot glares at him. He didn't know why, so he just ignored it.

He couldn't wait for recess, and when it came, he piled out of the room with all the other fonts. Feeling still out of place, he just walked around the field to get a feel for things. The whistle to return to class came much too quickly for him. As they were coming in, Timmy, who seemed to be the class leader, tripped him. He got up slowly and, while dusting himself off, thought about fighting him right there. But, he decided to hold off, as his time would come eventually. Still sad about it, Comic shuffled back to his seat and was quiet for the rest of the day. He wasn't so sure that he would like this new school.

The next day, he noticed a girl sitting next to him who seemed a little shy. He found out her name was Desdemona. They called her Dezi for short. He also found out that she was Timmy's little sister and was not sure if that was good or bad yet. For some reason that he didn't understand, he was drawn to her. At lunch, he saw her eating alone. He hated eating alone, too, so he asked if he could eat with her.

"Sure, if you want to, nobody seems to like me much."

"Well, that's not nice. You seem nice to me. I saw what you drew in Art class, and it was great. I try to draw stuff, but I'm not nearly as good as you are."

She lit up a little bit because he liked her artwork. She shared her book with him so he could see her other drawings.

"Thanks, that's about all I seem to be good at. All the other stuff, I am not doing too well. My big brother is super smart and gets good grades. But, he and his friends make fun of me. 'cause I don't seem to be as smart as he is. I, try hard and nothing works. It makes me sad and angry. A few months ago, I got sent home because I beat up one of his friends. He was making fun of me and getting in my face about being stupid. He got a bloody nose for it, and he never did it again. Neither did anyone else." A smile crept across her face for just a moment. She had enjoyed her moment of victory, and rightfully so. She continued, "Last year, they held me back a year because they think I have a learning disability. It doesn't feel like it to me, and the teachers don't seem to be much help either."

When Comic got home that day, his mom put some cookies and milk out and asked him how his day went. He told her about Dezi. "She thinks she is stupid and dumb. I saw her drawings, Mom. They were great. She seems to have an eye for that."

Mom asked if he liked the teacher. "She seems okay, and everyone likes her."

"Okay, son, make sure you finish your homework before you go out and play. Dinner will be on soon enough."

The next morning, Comic was looking forward to school. He had made it through the first day relatively unscathed and made a new friend. Off to a great start by previous school starts.

That was soon to be short-lived. At lunch, Comic was sitting next to his new friend when her big brother. Timmy came up with his other fancy friends, Academy, Garamond, Britannic, and Script. "Oh look, it's the new kid trying to make friends. Too bad it's with my dumb sister. She can't read, and all she wants to do is draw. As for you, Comic, your uniform doesn't. fit, and you will never look as cool as we do."

Comic looked at him for a moment with his head cocked to one side. Then, when he stood up, he was as tall as Timmy and looked him right in the eye. "You may be the most popular font on campus, but you are also the most arrogant, common, stuck-up font I know. Of course, you think you are all that and an eraser too. But, at the end of the day, you are just a fancy commoner!" Even Comic was surprised at what was coming out of his mouth. It had struck a nerve with him, and he wasn't going to stand by and take it anymore.

Timmy was not expecting someone to talk back to him, let alone call him names in front of his friends. He turned red while his fancy friends chortled and giggled at Comics' response. "Fine, but this is not the end of this." Before he left, he took their Jello cups and slurped them down right in front of them. He casually dumped them on the tray and walked away as cool as he thought he could. All the while, Dezi is speechless as she watched the drama unfold in front of her. She was a little shaken and tried to hide it. Her big wide eyes gave her away, though. Comic said, "I know he's popular, and he's a jerk too. My mom keeps telling me that I am important and someday I will find what I am supposed to do. You will too, I know it. Do you wanna come over after school? I have an art room with plenty of cool stuff for both of us. Dezi finally got a smile on her face.

"That would be great. I must check with my mom first, and I will let you know. I am glad you are my friend. All the popular kids don't like me. I don't know why, I didn't do anything to them. Just because I hate reading, that doesn't make me a bad person."

School finally got out, and Dezi's mom said it was okay for her to visit. They met at the bike racks and were getting ready to leave when Tommy and his Roman friends came walking up. Timmy walked up to Comic and poked a finger in his chest. "I told you at lunch this wasn't over yet." He looked over at Dezi and said, "You are not going anywhere with this weirdo. He's not one of us, and you shouldn't be hanging out with him." Dezi shot back, "I can be friends with whoever I want to, and your friends don't like me anyway." Comic looked Timmy right in the eye and in his calmest voice possible," Back off, or you will not like how this turns out for you."

"Oh, yea? What are you gonna do, beat me up?" Timmy wisecracked back.

"If that is what it takes for you to stop being a bully to your sister and everyone else who is not a TNR, then yes, I will be happy to do that for you!"

"You can't take all of us." Timmy shot back, starting to figure out this was real.

"I don't have to. I just have to take you out, and your friends will run off like scaredy cats." Dezi was standing behind Comic with her best mean look on and hands balled into fists. Comic continued, "Look, Tim, what's your deal anyway? Why are you such a jerk to everyone who is not like you? Do you like being an asshole?"

Timmy retorted, "I don't like you because you are weird and sloppy. Yet, many readers seem to like you for some reason, and that doesn't make any sense. You have no history or tradition, you just popped out of a computer one day, and suddenly you were popular."

Comic put down the kickstand on his bike and leaned against the bike rack. "That doesn't even make sense. There are hundreds of different fonts that are not like you, yet you are singling me out. Doesn't seem fair. That's okay, well, it's not, if you want to continue to feel that way. We all have a purpose in life, and your purpose is not my purpose. However, we are still both important."

By now, some of the starch and anger had dissipated from Timmy as he started listening to Comic. He also figured out he was not able to push him around like he had the other fonts.

Timmy continued," I am not sure really why I am not supposed to like you. I think I heard some of the older Romans squawking about when you came along for the first time.

'Ahhhhh, the comic font is going to put us out of business because every commoner that's not a graphic designer can use him.'"

Comic looked Timmy right in the eye. "Look, Tim, your font is not going anywhere. You are widely used in many professional settings, including textbooks. That is not going to change. So, for my crazy font friends and me, we will end up on fund-raiser posters and birthday cards.Furthermore, we get to help kids with Dyslexia learn to read again. One more thing, you need to back off your sister too. Believe it or not, she is smarter than you. People don't like bullies and will eventually stick up for themselves. That's why your sister beat up your friend. He got in her face one too many times and she kicked his ass."

With that being said, Comic and Dezi got on their bikes and rode off to his house. Dezi wonders out loud if his mom is going to like her.

"Of course, she is going to like you. She is the best mom ever, and she likes everyone."

Once inside the house, "Hi Mom, I'm home. This is my new friend Dezi. We are going to the art room."

"Well, Dezi, it's nice to meet you. You can call me Arial if you like." She gave her a quick hug and a plate full of cookies before they headed off. Dezi tried to say thank you but only managed a bashful smile as she looked up at his mom.

While they were drawing, Dezi told Comic her story. He put his pencil down and sat on the edge of the chair to listen. When she was done, Comic stood up and gave her a big hug. "I don't care what you have. I like you and think we are going to be best friends. I'll help you with your math and reading, and you can help me with my drawings."

Later that day, while at dinner, Comic told his mom about Dezi and all the drama. She paused for a moment and asked if she had ever been tested for Dyslexia.

"What's that?" queried Comic.

She explained to him what it was and that many people wrongly call this a learning disability. Even teachers miss the signs because they are already so overwhelmed. Those that have Dyslexia are smart or even smarter than most people, and some are even at genius level. As a matter of fact, the guy that started your dad's computer company has it. They look at things a little differently than we do, much like seeing the big picture without any barriers to solving the problems in front of them.

"Ah, I get it. Dezi is good at art and struggles with her math homework. She is always mixing up letters and numbers."

Dezi's parents were Times New Roman and Baskerville. They were just as confused as anyone as to why Dezi was so different than her brother.

They weren't sure what to do, so they took her to an educational therapist. Dr. Gary Mond had an extensive chat with Dezi and ran her through some tests. He did confirm that she has Dyslexia.

Dezi's dad was in denial that any one of his kids could have such a thing. He came from a long line of traditional fonts, and this was unheard of. So they went to the school principal. While he understood the problem, he was very limited in what he could do because the school board refused to take it seriously. The traditions had worked well for hundreds of years, and they weren't going to change as long as a TNR was the head of the school board.

With a cross look on his face, "Mom, I did not come all the way from California to see my new friend mocked by the very same people that are supposed to be teaching her!"

"Well, Comic, I can see that you are very passionate about this. Would you like to address the School Board about this? They meet next week, and guests are allowed to speak."

Comics eyes lit up while he thought about it for a moment. Then, with a fist raised in the air, he exclaimed, "Let's do this. I think we have a chance!"

The day of the board meeting was finally upon them. The meeting had to be moved from the regular board room to the gym because everyone heard about Comic going up against the board. They wanted to show their support. Comic looked at his mom and all the people. He got a lump in his throat, and his tummy was gurgling.

Arial knelt down next to her son, "Remember to speak from the heart, and the rest will come. Do it like we practiced and stand your ground. If you need me, I will be right behind you."

Up on the stage was where the board was sitting. The 20 big chairs behind the desks and microphones looked very intimidating. Comic wasn't quite sure what he had gotten himself into. Finally, a big, silver-haired, distinguished-looking Times New Roman stood up and called the meeting to order with a booming voice.

"Thank you all for being here. I would like to call this meeting to order. If there are any guests, please wait to introduce yourself during the guest segment. As usual, we will handle any old business first." The TNR goes through the roll call of the 20 most popular fonts to include Times New Roman, Arial, Century, Courier, Bookman, and Gabriola.

Gabriola stood up. "Mr. Chairman, we have some old business to attend to from the last meeting. It's been reported that Microsoft will be adding to their list of fonts, even more crazy fonts in the near future. Our lobbyists are working to mitigate that, and we need to increase their lobby funds."

"Thank you, Mr. Gabriola. We already have our lawyers from Garamond and Helvetica looking into the matter. Those fonts are threatening our way of life and popularity. If this keeps up, they will put us out of work!"

Calibri stands up. "I agree with TNR. Professor Hampton told me yesterday that I am being replaced for all her students' essays and term papers. We will have to go on the dole if this keeps up."

Helvetica stepped up to his microphone. "We have checked with all of the scholastic services, and they will be sticking to the classic fonts. So the textbook industry will be safe for now."

Cheers went up from the group of fonts.

TNR turned to address the guests at the meeting. "We have some guests. Would you please step up to the microphone, state your name, and your business with the board today?"

Comic walked up to the mic, palms still a little sweaty. "Good afternoon, U.S. Font Association, and thank you for having me here today. I am tasked with representing some of the newer fonts in the industry and would like to be a part of your association."

TNR looked down his glasses at the young font behind the microphone. "Mr. Sans, you have not been around long enough to be considered a classic. What makes you think we will even consider admitting you to this group of classic fonts?"

Comic takes a breath and replies," Is that the only reason that you are banning us from membership?"

TNR continued with his views on the new alternative fonts. "Not entirely, you also look funny, and some people find you annoying to read. It seems that your font is better suited for garage sale banners and birthdays. You can never be the serious classic font like us. The professional graphic design industry also finds you rather annoying."

The crowd of fonts could be heard reacting to the TNR's statement. A mix of cheers and boos rang out from the crowd. Comic takes a breath and doesn't really believe what he is hearing; at least they are saying it out loud.

"That seems hardly fair as you have the experience of being centuries old as the only font in the world at that time. We all have a place in this world. I am not trying to take away from your utility. I am only looking to be recognized as an equal."

"You'll never be recognized as an equal," TNR exclaimed, his face getting redder as he was getting more heated. "You were only created as a font for a cartoon dog, and even then, you didn't get used in the final project. So, it might be safe to say that you were a whimsy that got out of control. But, at least you aren't as bad as wingdings. WTF??"

Comic was still retaining his composure, and inside he really wanted to explode.

"Oh, I am painfully aware of that. We get reminded every day by some snooty graphic designer. We didn't do anything to them. I don't know what their problem is with me. It's probably just a few of them, and the rest jumped on the bandwagon. What I can tell you is that we are a popular font outside of the professional community. We don't want any part of that. We are much more fun than they are. One more thing before you decide to throw me out. It has been discovered that readers with Dyslexia find it easier to read my font than yours. This leads to that group being more successful in their education. It is also well known that some of the world's most genius people have Dyslexia. The guy that created the computer that you live in has Dyslexia. Just ponder on that for a while."

Garamond pounds his gavel on the desk. "Okay, Mr. Sans, we have heard just about enough from you. We are going to take a 15-minute break. Please be back here on time."

During the break, Garamond, TNR, and Gabriola were having a smoke out in the breezeway. Garamond, in his old, experienced ways, was trying to talk some sense into TNR. "Dude, you have been around for so long that you can't remember what it was like to be new. Back when humans had to write with quills and ink. You need to lighten up, or you will be left behind. Now, finish that smoke, get back in there, and be reasonable."

The time bell rings, and all of the fonts file back into the gymnasium. Garamond pounds his gavel once again. "This meeting will come back to order. Chairman TNR, you have the floor."

TNR clears his throat with a humph. "Mr. Sans, although you are funny-looking and most of the graphic designers have rejected you purely out of principle, we cannot overlook the fact that you help young readers become more successful. For that reason, we will extend to you a temporary one-year membership to the USFA and see how it goes. After one year, we will review your progress in the written world and make a more permanent decision then." Both cheers and groans went up from the crowd.

Comic had a look of relief on his face and a slight smile, still trying to keep his composure. "Thank you so much, Mr. Chairman. We will do our best to make you proud. If you don't mind, can you have the rest of your naysayers leave us alone while we do what we do best?"

A few weeks later, Comics Mom asked about Dezi. "Mom, she is doing so much better. Just last week, she got her first B in both math and reading!"

"Son, I am proud of you. That was a great thing that you did for your friend. You may have just discovered that thing that you are supposed to do. Helping others succeed is a very noble thing."

The End