Capitano Neutrino
Protecting the Entire Spaghetti Horizon
It's true most black holes have masses of hundreds, even thousands, of suns. Cosmologists have theorized, however, that "micro" black holes pepper all of space/time as rogue visitors, striking when least expected.
Colino Semicolini, a mild-mannered Sicilian teenager, was being bullied, pinned on the ground, and pummelled by acneiform, postpubescent reprobates. His mouth was wide open, screaming in complete terror, when such a micro black hole, around a billionth of a billionth of the mass of the sun and about the size of an atomic nucleus, was inadvertently swallowed.
Suddenly, and presenting absolutely no taste sensation in Colino's agape mouth, it lodged into his right tonsil, spewing neutrinos. The ensuing collisions with his teeth scattered muons and protons and quantized Colino right there on the playground.
Creating his own event horizon, he began to undergo sphagettification—vertically stretching into a long thin shape while effervescing into a strong, non-homogeneous gravitational field. He snapped back with the force of an atomic gigaplex, and the boys who were bullying him were found three days later, al dente, in trees on mainland Italy.
Italy had its first superhero, as Capitano Neutrino (née Colino Semicolini), who can seize criminals on a whim, subdue them, and render them inert in wheat semolina bondage.
His fame grew far and wide and he successfully ended the Sicilian reign of criminal terror until a supervillain arose to thwart him—Generale Gluten and his Celiac Crusaders. Most of the exciting legends today involve Capitano Neutrino's entanglements with this sordid bunch.
Besides frequently entangling with this rogue's gallery of genetically modified villains (GMVs), he also goes to church with his little, old mother every morning. His tonsil was unharmed, but Colino snores now.
His uniform has a utility belt with Parmesan FlakPacks and Olive Oil cannisters for fighting the higher-calorie Rogue Ragazzi.
About the Creator
Gerard DiLeo
Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!
Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
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The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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By Rowan Finley 7 days ago in Fiction
Comments (56)
Delightful, humorous, and charged with wit—best superhero origin ever. Splendid work and congratulations three months late.
This is what was lacking in the superhero world, quantum physics and pasta. A true monster, and very deserving first place! Hell yes, you got it. May your wit ring through all dimensions!
Fantabulous!!! I’ve sent to my Italian husband - how creative, unique, hilarious!
This is absolutely banging! Well done on your first first place 👏 👍 Here's to many more! 🥂
This is Eighteen Kinds of Awesome. I write superhero fiction here on Vocal too but I haven't been inspired for a while. This story of yours is Blueprint for Getting It Right. More Power to You!
This was very creative, I love it! Congrats on the well deserved win!
Congrats. Vocal is filled with surprises. Thanks for the genre lesson.
Wow, Gerard! Congratulations on first place! You rock!
What a clever and original way to approach this challenge! Too funny! I smiled through the whole read and I'm still smiling! Great Job
Well, I'm back for the best of reasons! Congrats, Gerard!!! So happy for you, my friend!!!
Congratulations on the win, and on writing one of the most original micros I've read. Delicious!
From Vocal.Media: "Congratulations to first-time winner Gerard DiLeo for Capitano Neutrino — we do like it when a challenge entry makes us laugh. Here the laws of physics, combined with a passion for durum flour, produce Italy’s first superhero, 'Capitano Neutrino (née Colino Semicolini), who can seize criminals on a whim, subdue them, and render them inert in wheat semolina bondage.' Spaghettifiction forever, we say!" So humbling!
This IS funny.
What a great story! I wouldn’t have chosen differently for first place. Incredible, Gerard, and many congratulations! 🤗💜🎉🥳🙌
yayyy congratulations.
Great story! Congratulations on the win!
I knew I'd read this, but I never commented which is weird for me, but happens. Just wanted to add to the comment I thought I made and say "Congratulations!"
Yeah!!! Congratulations on the WIN!!!❤️❤️💕
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win!! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations!
Way to go ,Well done Congratulations - well deserved
Whoop....whoop! Do a little dance! Big congratulations to you on a much well-earned and well-deserved win, Gerard! This is awesome!
Congrats!
CONGRATS! This is funny and a well deserved win. 😁
This is hilarious, Gerard! What a great story, and written with such flair! Congratulations on a very well-deserved victory!