230 Sango Jingo Part 2: the History of Sango Jingo

Sango Jingo is an island in the Atlantic Ocean just below the secret Frisland. There, due to the convergence of the universal Diopteric Aura, the Guttural Utterals landed.

Sango Jingo, with its pristine beaches and wild sex-slave monkeys, is the annual destination for Spring Break for all of those with Social Anxiety Disorder.

The Guttural Utturals have a sudden but interesting history. Having popped into existence from a vacuum flux of zero energy in 1951, they live with the threat that at any time they may literally pop back out of existence.

So it goes with zero fluxes. Virtually.

"Nothing was unstable. SOMETHING had to happen." — Sumus Cocoonus

They are 10-dimensional people cursed with sense organs that can only appreciate 3 spatial dimensions (and one of time--but who's counting?), so they constantly live with the frustration of seeing everything we see, but knowing that what they see are only 3D cross-sections of the 10D existence they actually occupy. No wonder most of them hang up on automated telephone solicitations.

"It's hard to be patient when you know you're wasting six or seven good dimensions." — Sumus Cocoonus

In 1969, they elected Sumus Cocoonus, D. E. as Ambassador to the World-as-we-know-it, albeit cramping his style with the 3 spatial dimensions and the one temporal one.

In 1991, the ruling body of Sango Jingo, "the Guttural Optimals," decreed by law that Porsches would be the only legal vehicles allowed. Many cried, "Impractical!" But since, from the impracticality of one person owning such a machine while being extremely cool, each individual being impractical unto him- or herself and being cool would collectively be no different from the whole land being cool. They promised clearer rationale in subsequent legislation.

They can telepathically communicate with vibrating contour chairs. Unfortunately, owing to the chairs being so stupid that they aren't even self-aware, the only thing the people receive is a dull rhythmic sensation when they do. This proves very irritating, to the point where they actually use the chairs for the purpose for which they were manufactured.

It's always sunny in Sango Jingo and it's always funny in Sango Jingo. What happens in Sango Jingo only stays funny in Sango Jingo.

____________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Saturday, August 17, Day 230 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Accompaniment photos were AI-generated but the Porsches were not.

------

THIS CHALLENGE GRINDS ON, 366 WORDS AT A TIME...

There are currently three surviving prolific, pretentious, promiscuous, and copacetic Vocal scribbling scribes still participating in the insane, inane, pre-election 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, (challenge originator)

• Rachel Deeming (challenge participant)

• Gerard DiLeo (former Porshe owner; present hybrid driver)

Read them. Support them. And remember if you have a clutch. It's important.