After me !

"Hey "

I was stunned , I knew it in my bones I would never hear that voice again , I would never hear the stomping feet of a person coming towards me , I knew for sure that I deserved to hear sounds of feet moving away from me , not towards me.

"Stop!"

It was real . That voice was calling me , begging me to stop .

" I knew you are angry. Just give me a chance to explain. "

He thinks I am angry . Hell no , I am just finding it a hard time believing he came after me , after me , he wants to explain something. I have to turn around, I cant let him down , I cant let the person down who showed me that I can be trusted , I can be loved .

" Thank God you stopped . You know , you run awfully fast for a person like you "

Who would have known that Ryan would came after me once I told him that I was a murderer , but he did , he came after me .

I am Steve Brown , a 5 feet 8 feet skinny boy , with brown curls and blue eyes . When someone looks at me , the first word that comes to their mind would be depression , because that's who I am , all I am fill up with are negative emotions and actions . I have no real friends and if having parents who just give you allowance are called having a family , then I have one , a show family , nothing more .

I was once young and active , blooming with life and happiness, but the day my little brother died because the weak arms of a 7 year old could not grab my baby brother out of a pond , I lost it all . I , wanted to be comforted by my parents , wanted to grieve with them , but they but the blame of my brother's death on me . Tell me , how was I supposed to take my brother out of that pond ?

" I saw my brother gasping for air in that God forsaken pond , I wanted in to grab him up , but I couldn't, I was afraid of the water too , I shouted on top of my lungs , for my mother , for my father , for anyone who would come and save my brother , but no one came , No one , I watched him reaching his tiny arms towards me , I watched him writhing with misery in that pond and then I watched him dying lifeless in that pond . My baby brother had died . He had died right in front of my eyes and I couldn't do a thing , I couldn't help him . "

" What did your parents do when they came back ?" asked Ryan , the person I dreaded to call a friend , the only person who ever tried to break through the thick walls I had made around me . He was my lab partner, but he became more that that , when he started inviting me to parties and hangouts . I wanted to go out , have fun with him like all other normal teenagers but I could not because I was not normal , I was a killer , I was a murderer of my only brother . I was cursed and if Ryan stayed close , I would kill him too .

" They , what would they say , they blamed me , for my little brother , Ryan's death "

" You are cursed , you killed my baby boy , you monster , I hate you." said my mother sobbing , my father tried to comfort her by putting his arms around her , but no one comforted me , no one .

"Ryan , you remind me of my brother , he had same ocean blue eyes like you , had he been here , he would have turned 18 today, I would have bought him , his first beer , we would have gone out , we would have celebrated, he was my twin just 3 minutes younger than me , but he was developmentally weak , I got more blood in my mother's womb and I got punished for that in my life . I loved him Ryan , I loved him more than anything in this world , and now when he is not here , I also dont feel like living , I want to die because only then would I get to see him , but dont you think I'll forgive him easily , he'll first have to pay for all the sadness he has caused me ." I was sobbing , tears running down my eyes , I should weep alone because I deserve that , but then i felt comforting arms of Ryan around me and I felt as my brother was back .