A Little Mermaid

Introduction

This is from a prompt from Dharrsheena, I would love to see others takes on this too so feel free to write your own. I am sure Dharrsheena would love it and share them in Facebook Groups too.

Write a twisted retelling of The Little Mermaid. Make it as dark as you can. Your story should include the characters Goldilocks from Goldilocks and the Three Bears and Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk

A Little Mermaid

Jack was not a nice lad, but he was lucky and could get away with murder, literally. He swapped his mother's cow for some beans which made his mother so distraught that she gave up and died. Jack buried her out the back and planted the beans on her grave as a sick joke. Well, it wasn't a grave it was just a hole that he dug, no coffin or anything, he wasn't going to waste any money on her, so he just buried her.

Then the beans started growing. Serious, what the feck, Jack thought.

The next day there was a huge beanstalk and Jack decided to climb it. He spent half a day and when he reached the top he was in a castle. There was loads of gold lying about, and in a pool was a little mermaid.

"Please save me," the mermaid said to Jack "The evil giant kidnapped me and keeps me here away from my friends and family and the ocean"

Jack thought "She could bring a good price if I take her home"

"OK" Jack

He wandered and found the giant drunk and snoring. There was a rusty sword so he took it stabbed the giant in both eyes and beheaded him, then filled a sack with gold and jewels and headed for the way out.

"What about me?" shouted the mermaid.

"I'll come back for you," Jack said

"Don't be too long, bring some food, I am really hungry"

Jack went down and started spending his newfound wealth and thought he would invite Goldilocks over. She seemed interesting as there were rumours about her unnatural interest in a family of bears, but he would cook her a meal and get her into bed, girls like a good cook.

He called round to Goldilocks and she said she would love to come for something to eat tomorrow night. His evil plan was coming together just needed to plan the meal.

He ordered the food he needed to make the meal, plus champagne to get Goldilocks a little more conducive to his advances.

He then remembered the mermaid and while he didn't really care, he thought he could put her to some good use.

He climbed the beanstalk and found himself in the castle. He found the mermaid's pool and she was floating in the water, having died of starvation.

Damn, but then he thought "I could bung her in the freezer and then sell her to a museum or collector". He took the body and then climbed down the beanstalk. He let the mermaid's body slip and she fell the last hundred feet to the ground, but she was dead anyway.

He put the body in the fridge to take advantage of later, but he had the meal to prepare.

The Meal

Goldilocks was impressed with the meal and the fact that the champagne was from Gold Methuselah of Armand De Brignac. Jack was a perfect host (she did not know what a lowlife he really was), and she began to eat.

"Oh my God," she said "this is beautiful, the fish almost melts in your mouth and is so rich, what is it?"

Straightfaced Jack told her "Oh, it's just A Little Mermaid"