A beautiful morning

Sheeba removed the blanket from her, she felt she got a cold from yesterday night, after all whenever she cried the whole night, she would always get cold. Her head was feeling heavy, she was feeling really thirsty.

The cool breeze was whispering through the cream-colored curtains in her kitchen. As she walked towards the water bottle, she felt the breeze on her skin. Somehow she felt lighter, a feeling she hadn't experienced in years. This weird sense of calmness and relief puzzled her because after last night, she should have felt pain or sadness. She looked around the kitchen; the cool breeze and the light from the window made everything around the kitchen counter beautiful. The sound was similar to when you are on a silent train ride across the countryside, and all you can hear is the wind.

She stared at herself carefully in the full-length Ikea mirror she got, from top to bottom. Crying does something to a woman; it's like the silence of peace after war. She looked beautiful, like a poem. She had never considered herself a pretty woman - funny yes, kind yes, intelligent yes, but never drop-dead gorgeous. It was a weird feeling, like she could see through her soul because what she saw in the mirror was a drop-dead gorgeous diva. It was like she always saw herself through society's eyes or her nana's eyes or his eyes. None of them considered her beautiful. Society has a weird way of treating people who are not conventionally beautiful. It makes you feel like an ugly outcast, but beauty is subjective, only those who have beauty can truly admire beauty.

"You are not pretty, but you are cute, you are fun, and you are an amazing girl, and for me looks never mattered." That's what he always said. How could she not hear it? It was like she had a blindfold that only made her listen to what was not real, it was never real. She always thought that when he gets to know her, he will see how amazing she is. Funny enough, she never saw it herself until today.

Sheeba picked up her red full-length dress; she never wore it even once. "It will not suit you; you should not wear these types of clothes," that's what he always used to say, and like a blindfolded fan, she agreed. Red suited her so much, she realized today. It was a morning of epiphanies, she felt.

Sheeba had met Adrian when she came to this city, a charming and fun guy who would always help her. She did not have any friends, so Adrian quickly came close to her, and they started spending the evenings talking. Adrian talked a lot about their future. She had no idea what to expect from a guy because she had never been with one before. Adrian always listened to her, always decided what was best for her, her dresses, and even her friends. Sheeba felt supported and loved, but deep down, she felt like she could not choose anything for herself, let alone a movie or a career. She felt that is how love is; you should not say no to people you love. What a horrific mistake.

Adrian started making a few mistakes, but Sheeba knew he only loved her, no matter who he cheated on her with. After all, she was the perfect girlfriend.

She always knew that something was wrong; love is not supposed to cage you and consume you so much that you cannot do or be something except a girlfriend. She always knew that love is not supposed to hurt you more than making you happy; it is not supposed to rule your life. She felt weird as they had their whole life planned, as in when to get married, send kids to college until yesterday night.

Yesterday night, which changed everything.

Now she had no idea what to do with the day, what to do this morning itself, it was supposed to feel sad but it just felt lighter. Sheeba felt free; she felt like she could finally breathe. The cool breeze passed through her hair while she lit her cigarette.