Why the water brand (rhymes with Fasani) is absolute trash.

I cannot tell you how much I hate Fasani. I loathe it. I can't bear it. And you better believe I am so stubborn that I will refuse to drink it.

To start, the taste is the worst. I mean, if drinking sewage water that tastes like it's been run through a 12 year old filter is your thing, then who am I to judge? But I can't stand for it. I'm not going to get into the fact that Fasani is owned and distributed by Foca-Fola. (You know, the totally up to snuff and righteous team that used to put actual cocaine in their products (look it up)). Just know that's who we're dealing with here. Fasani wants the world to think they are providing the world with a natural and safe product to enjoy. But do you know what they really put in their bile: tap water, magnesium sulfate, potassium chloride, and salt.

Let's get the two hard ones out of the way. I know that magnesium sulfate and potassium chloride sound totally organic, but I think there might be more than meets the eye. Magnesium sulfate is more commonly known as the main component of bath salts. You know, that thing that was making people in Florida eat other peoples faces off. Not that bad if you ask me but some might have a problem with it, particularly the people with half a face. It's also a drying agent. As in - makes your mouth dry. Now why would they want to add that into water... And potassium chloride is merely used as a fertilizer and maybe/maybe not, but totally is a component used to make the heart stop beating when doing lethal injections. So far so good.

TAP WATER. You are drinking tap water. I mean I really have to hand it to these Foca- Fola guys. They are bottling up the stuff that people in Idaho use to cook their meth, putting some non-naturally occurring chemicals into it, running it through a filter, and selling it for $11.99 at a Yankees game. God bless America.

Lastly, they like to add a dash of salt to every bottle. Yes, you are reading that correctly. They claim it's for taste, but anyone with a brain can understand that they do it for the same reason that free pretzels are on every top of every bar in America. This just irks me. How dumb do they think we are? Buying water with salt in it is like enrolling in a college class where the required $340 textbook was written by the professor of that course #truestory. How is this legal? Did you know that the "8 glasses of water a day" is a mere guess and has never been substantiated by actual scientists? And that's coming from a Joe Rogan podcast I listened to four years ago so it has to be true.

But what I know as a fact is that in the 1950's and 60's lobbyists for Sugar hired a whole lot of marketers to run a smear campaign on Salt. Sugar was worried about losing addicts dollars because consumers were learning that sugar was linked to weight gain. So, the righteous folks that they are, they came out with diet beverages and pushed the focus onto salt. Since that time salt has been demonized. As you're reading this I'm sure you're about ready to dismiss this all, but what if I told you that in 2011 a study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), found that low-salt diets actually increase the risk of death from heart attack and stroke — and in fact don’t prevent high blood pressure. So no, salt isn't as bad as it may seem, but that doesn't mean I want it in my water. P.S. Who do we think profited the most from sugar having a good name..

Who's the conspiracy theorist now!

Let's recap: Fasani has chemicals, it's derived from sewage, they add salt, and the people who push this "water" made an entire nation believe that sugar was a miracle mineral that would give you super powers.

I know I might be overreacting here but I can honestly say that if you drink Fasani I think less of you as a person.

For any of you wondering about the validity of my 100% correct claims:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/cd49a818-5645-4a94-832e-d22860804779

https://www.rxlist.com/consumer_magnesium_sulfate_mgso4/drugs-condition.htm

https://time.com/4088772/sugar-information-history/

https://grist.org/food/2011-05-26-change-in-season-why-salt-doesnt-deserve-its-bad-rap/