The first anniversary of the loss of my mom

December 2nd, 2025, marks the official first anniversary of my mother's passing. It has been A bit of a rough journey. Still, I was able to get by with my husband's and my daughter's help. Still, mostly I was helped by the grace of God. I'm happy to say my mom is there with him, as well as with my dad, my father passed away in 2017 of heart failure.

But that's a different story. Let me ask you something: Can you still consider yourself an orphan if you are no longer 18? I mean, I know by law, under 18 can still be considered an orphan because I guess you're still a minor. Still, in my heart, I feel like an orphan, even though at the moment I'm 43 years old. Every day when I wake up, it feels weird not having to hear my mom calling me.

You see, I was her caretaker. She suffered from pulmonary fibrosis. So there were things she couldn't do anymore, such as cooking her own food and taking showers. There were times I had to help her go to the bathroom. I'm not gonna lie, there were times we would argue and complain, but just like friends, we put our differences aside, we would laugh, and we'd be OK.

Even though it has only been one year, it still feels like it happened yesterday. I helped her get ready to go to sleep. She was very weak, and the last thing she said to me was, "Thank you so much, honey, many blessings to you." But she said it in Spanish, something she always said, so I didn't think anything of it. I just assumed that the next morning she would wake up and I would make her the breakfast she wanted, which was cinnamon Raisin French toast. Needless to say, she never got a chance to eat it because she passed away in the middle of the night. I found her when I went to check on her to see if she still wanted to get up to go use the bathroom. It still haunts me to this day, especially when I wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom.

I look at the clock, sometimes I would see the time would be 3:01 in the morning, sometimes 225 or 1:45 in the morning, it varies. But it still shocks me when I look at the clock, and the first thing that pops into my head is going to check on her, and she is no longer alive. I'm not going to lie, I do miss my parents. But I'm also happy they are no longer suffering because they were in pain.

It feels great to have some freedom, because I didn't have much when I was taking care of my mom and my daughter. Thankfully,. Thankfully, my daughter is mostly in preschool, and she has a lot of energy, so she's able to do things on her own. I do cry, especially during the holidays, when I remember being with my parents. However, I do want to say this! If your parents are still alive, or just one of them, please spend time with them. Please call them every day or go visit them, even if it's something simple like just go for a walk with them, go have coffee, or if you don't like coffee, go have tea with them. Because you don't know when you'll see them again. I still cry when I see videos of my parents on my phone or files that I have on my computer.