The Dear Little Fairy

Far, far away in a Venus flytrap there lived a Dear Little Fairy… Actually, come to think of it, she wasn’t very dear at all. No, not one bit. In fact, she was positively dreadful. The kind of fairy who was always grumpy - except when someone else got hurt. Then she couldn’t stop laughing.

Her name was Viper, as she rather acted like one. Oh, and I almost forgot. Viper was a, well. Oh, this is going to be hard to believe… a kindness fairy. Of course, she wasn’t really kind. Let me explain.

When a baby fairy is born, he or she is taken to the Fairy Elders. These old buffoons - I mean, wise if slightly forgetful fairies, give the fairy a talent and the powers to fulfill the talent. So Viper, awful as she may be, only had the power to create happiness and sunshine. Let me tell you that she absolutely hated it.

Now there was another fairy who was stuck in a very similar predicament as Viper. Her name was Pricilla and she was the kindest, most lovely fairy to ever walk (and fly) the earth. Her silky blonde hair was always immaculate and her blue eyes were always shining. A smile that was always ready to bring comfort to those indeed. Yes, everyone adored Prisicilla. (Or maybe it was her muffins they adored. She had a brilliant recipe.)

Anyway, Prisicilla was born a grouchy fairy - which, obviously, she was not, but her powers could only cause gloominess. It would be an understatement to say that this drove her quite batty.

One day, however, an idea came to her. A very good idea, if she said so herself. Which she did.

So early in the morning, when the rest of the world was still asleep, Priscilla climbed out of the rose where she lived and flew to the outskirts of town. A basket of lemon muffins was carried in her hand.

After a while she came to a Venus Flytrap and knocked politely on the leaf.

Viper groggily opened the door and scowled in greeting.

“Hello Dear sister!” Prisicilla exclaimed.

Oh - did I not mention Priscialla and Viper were twins? Well, they were.

“What do you want?” Viper snapped.

“I brought you some muffins,” Priscilla sang, holding them up and ignoring the question.

Viper’s eyes lit up and she snatched the basket out of Priscilla’s hands.

“What do you want?” she asked again, though with the muffin stuffed in her mouth it sounded more like, “Waag dyo wend?”

Priscilla took a deep breath. This was her chance.

“I - er - let’s see, how do I say this? I was thinking last night and, what if erm...if we-could-possibly-switch-our-powers?” the last bit came out in a rush and Viper nearly choked on her muffin. Switching powers was against one of the greatest, strictest fairy laws of all time.

“Priscilla!” cried Viper, after swallowing her muffin, “We can’t! And what’s more, I WON’T!”

And she slammed the leaf on poor Prisicilla’s face.

Feeling very glum Prisicilla flew home where the Fairy Village of Snarklesberry was just waking up.

“Hey Priscilla,” a chirpy voice said, “What’s wrong? You look so sad.”

Prisicilla turned and immediately wrinkled her nose. It was Snitch, the tattle-tale fairy. Known notoriously as being the greatest rat in the entire fairy population.

“Er-” she said, “Nothing, Snitch.” and she flew back to her rose as fast as possible.

But Snitch stared after her as she left, thought and ideas mixing in his brain. He had seen people act like that before. As if they had a secret - something they didn’t want him to know. A slow smile crept across Snitch’s face. He was going to learn Prisicilla’s secret - and he was going to get her in a world of trouble.

***

Priscilla hardly came out of her Rose for the next few days, half moping and half pondering about what to do. On one wing, the right thing to do was to leave her and Viper’s powers alone and continue living by the fairy law. On the other wing, once Priscilla got her mind set on something, she wasn’t quick to let it go. So after three days she went to Viper again. Once more, Viper rejected her offer. Once more Snitch saw Prisicilla coming back into Snarklesberry early in the morning, looking even glummer than last time, and once more Snitch resolved to find out Priscilla’s secret It gave everyone a joint feeling of deja vu.

The day after, however, two of the three fairies woke up with a change of mind. Perhaps it was the weather (a sunny-but-not-too-hot kind of day) or the fact that the water sprites had finally come round after the argument of who-ate-the-last-strawberry and were releasing brilliant fountains of water in arches and swirls across the town. Either way, that day Snitch woke up quite early - early enough to see Prisicilla slip out of her rose with a basket of orange muffins.

He rubbed his hands together, put on a thin coat, and fluttered after.

Viper was ready in the morning, and opened the leaf before Prisicilla could even knock.

“I’ll do it.” she said as Prisicilla was already saying, “Viper, I know you don’t - wait.. What?”

Viper rolled her eyes,

“I’ll do it. Now come in before I change my mind.”

Prisicilla beamed and gave a little hop before following.

“Alright,” she said, taking a muffin out and placing it on the ‘ground’ (Really it wasn’t the ground because they were in a flower.) “It’s simple really. All we have to do is march around the muffin three times singing the words.”

Viper nodded, bravely pushing her shoulders back. She knew what the words were, of course. In case you don’t, they are basically the most powerful chant on this planet, used in every magic spell that actually works.

The mood turned solemn as the two fairies began walking around the muffin. Almost imperceptibly they began to whisper, “Oogie, boogy, boogy boo. Oogy, boogy, boogy, boo.”

The began to shimmer with incandescent light, Viper’s green and Prisicilla’s blue. Slowly the green light crept over to Prisicilla, sinking into her arms and legs and wings. She gave a smile as the feeling of all that good power flowed into her. Now it was Viper’s turn.

“Ooogie, boogy, boogy, boo.”

The green light was all gone. The blue light crept towards Viper, slowly, slowly, and then -...

It never went in.

The leaf of the Venus Flytrap was thrown down and several bulky, muscular fairies with bushy mustaches strode in. They were led by a very smug looking Snitch.

“I told you I’d find out your secret.” He sang to Prisicilla who looked confused,

“No you didn’t.”

“Oh… Well I did anyway.”

The chief muscular fairy interrupted, “Enough! Snitch has told the Fairy council all about your offence against the fairy law. You shall be taken to the Carcerem where you will live for the rest of your lives!”

Viper and Prisicilla’s eyes widened in horror. The carcerem was a prison - the only prison - in Snarklesberry. Nobody knew the horrors inside - for the prisoners never came out, and the guards never told. Still, there were rumours. Rumours of sharks and monsters. Mazes full of poisonous thorns and rattlesnakes that could swallow you down and not even notice. And that was if you escaped the cells. Oh, the cells! Those terrible rooms had food so awful the rats refused to eat it. So dark and melancholy were they, so cold and bleak. There was only enough space for a fairy to lie down, curled up in a cramped ball. It was a terrible place indeed, the carcerem. A terrible place reserved for the most terrible fairies.

Viper tried to protest in defence (‘Wait just a minute, shouldn’t we get a trial, you odorous block of cheese!” and, “Unhand me ugly toenail clipper of the piggish swamp!”) but the big fairies just threw the twins over their shoulders and flew them to the Carcerem. An expressionless fairy took them once they reached, and blindfolded both Viper and Priscilla so they wouldn’t know the route to and out of their cells. This is how, only fifteen minutes after they began the trading of the powers, the sisters found themselves in the securest prison in the eastern hemisphere.

Needless to say, Viper threw quite a fit. I shall spare you the details of her tantrum, but, in the end, both fairies decided they’d been wrongly imprisoned and were determined to escape.

Now let me give you a quick layout of the cell. It, heretical to the rumours, was actually quite a spacious circle, with two rocks in the corner, sloppily painted to look like beds. The walls were two metres thick and made of solid iron. Nothing else was inside the cell. Outside, however, was a baker’s dozen of elite, highly trained guards ready to render someone unconscious if they so much as stepped a toe out of line.

A door that opened from the outside was installed for guards to bring the prisoners food.

“It’s Impossible!” whined Viper, collapsing on the bed then giving a sharp Ouch! As her head bumped against the stone.

“Nothing is impossible.” Priscilla told her, hands on hips and staring at the door, “Now come here. Do you, by any chance, have a muffin?”

“Yes,” Viper said, pulling the mushed thing out of her pocket. It was raspberry, made by Priscilla the day before.

“Good. Bring it over and put it right next to the door.”

Viper did so, and stared a Priscilla in bemusement.

“What’s that gonna do?” she asked.

“Explosion spell,” she said, staring at the muffin in concentration, “I’m going to blow the door open while you cast a sleeping spell. We have to do this right because there is only one muffin left… right?”

She cast a hopeful glance at Viper, who overcame her shock enough to nod. Since when had Priscilla - goody-two shoes, well behaved Priscilla - become such a.. Such a… Rebel!

“Ready?” Priscilla asked, and, without waiting for an answer, began her spell. I shall not tell you, because the rational feeling that you may want to try it out yourself. All I will say is the muffin began to shake and tremble like a kernel of popcorn, then released a foggy purple mist as Viper began her spell. Sounds of the guards dropping to the ground, deep in slumber could be heard as the muffin shook harder and harder.

“IT’S GONNA BLOW!” Viper shrieked, before remembering that blowing up was exactly what the muffin was supposed to do.

BOOM!

Pieces of raspberry and dough flew everywhere blinding the two fairies. Flour coated them from toe to wings and, if a nearby pedestrian had walked by, he would’ve most certainly imagined them to be a type of fairy ghosts.

The iron door was black with hardened ashes, but still very much whole.

“It didn’t work,” Viper said, stating the obvious. Priscilla rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

But it must have weakened the door, right?” she asked, “Help me push.”

They gave the door a sharp heave and, with a heavy thud, it fell onto the floor outside of the cell.

Viper raised an approving eyebrow then walked out. Priscilla followed. The sound of the snoring guards followed them as they walked through the dank labyrinth. For a while they wandered randomly, turning right and left until Viper stopped.

“What’s wrong?” Priscilla asked, turning her head to look at Viper.

“Do you hear that?”

Priscilla strained her ears. Very, very faintly, she heard a sploshing sound. A splashing sound. A…

“RIVER!” Both fairies cried at the same time.

“Come on!” Viper called, flying as fast as she could towards it.

It took them a little while and quite a lot of backtracking but eventually they reached the river. On the other side was…

An opening! Freedom was just on the other side of the river.

However, the current was rushing past them at quite a speed and (Viper figured this out by throwing a rock in, then hearing it thud on the bottom three minutes later) the river was really quite deep. But that wasn’t the worst part. The river was also swarming with…

Crocodiles!

The vicious beasts lurked in the river, snapping at Viper and Priscilla’s toes whenever they came to close. Their very teeth were the size of the two fairies.

“How will we get across?” Priscilla asked. Viper frowned and looked up at the ceiling, high above them. She smiled and looked down at the crocodiles making futile attempts to jump at them. Just then one particularly clever one realized that it could walk on land. It lifted up it’s cumbersome body out of the water and squelched one claw onto the shore, only feet away from the fairies.

Priscilla gave a little shriek, “Viper!” she cried, “THINK OF SOMETHING!”

Viper answered, slightly hysterical herself, “You’re a fairy, Priscilla, FLY!

Priscilla decided to take this advice and the two zipped up into the air.

“Now what?” Priscilla asked, already knowing the answer.

“Fly across,” Viper answered, “The crocodiles can’t jump that high… I hope.”

Hearts thumping, they did. As they were half way through, one crocodile leapt up and snatched Viper’s shoe.

“HELP!” she screamed trying desperately to kick it off. Priscilla hesitated for a second, unsure how, exactly, she could help.

Then she remembered something. Kicking out one foot, she whooshed towards the crocodile with a fearsome battle cry. Her foot struck the crocodile in between his eyes and he immediately released Viper’s foot and fell into the water. They continued the rest of the way without incident and were soon on the other side.

“Well, that was easy,” Viper remarked, walking with Priscilla to the egress. Suddenly they heard voices and gasped.

“Hide!” Viper hissed, trying to find a rock to hide under.

“Where?” Priscilla cried as quietly as she could. Just as she said it, the voices turned the corner and - horror upon horror! - they were none other than the fairy elders. The old forgetful fairies who had originally decreed Priscilla and Viper’s prison sentence.

The fairy elders turned and their eyes met Viper’s and Priscillas. The newly escaped prisoners froze in fear. How could this happen! After all they’d been through, to be stopped now. It was terrible.

The eldest Fairy elder (who held the title ‘the Elder-est’) opened his mouth with a frown.

Viper and Priscilla braced themselves…

“Who are you?”

They’re mouths dropped open and they stared at the fairy elders dumbfounded-ly. Did the elders really not know who they were? Priscilla, always the honest one, spoke out before Viper could stop her:

“My name is Priscilla,” she said bravely, knowing that this act was going to get her sent straight back to prison. Viper wanted to punch her in the face, but the deed was done. The fairy elders remained silent for an unbearable amount of time. They just stood there with expressionless faces.

“Well?” Priscilla asked finally, “Aren’t you going to lock us up?”

The fairy elders looked surprised, “Lock you up! Whatever for? Wait - you don’t mean to say that the both of you are criminals, do you? Oh dear, oh dear.”

Yes, Reader, the fairy elders had forgotten!

This time Viper interceded before Priscilla could open her mouth.

“Not at all, sir.” she said smoothly, yanking Priscilla away as she waved goodbye, “My sister just gets confused sometimes. Goodbye!”

And the two flew back home, Priscilla only feeling the slightest bit guilty.

***

I suppose that’s the end of the story, though there are still some things I need to tie up. For one, Priscilla got Viper’s kindness powers (From the switch they did, if you’ll remember, Reader.) and used them to her heart’s content. When the other fairies questioned this, for they didn’t know about the switch, Priscilla simply shoved a muffin in their mouths. She also opened up a karate school, finding that she was rather good at it.

Viper was, unfortunately, left with no powers. Priscilla’s gloomy powers hadn’t completely transferred to her before the guards broke in. However, this took a better twist as Viper decided that powers weren’t important and, instead, became an explorer. She was the first fairy to ever climb the summits of what humans call ‘a playground’.

Snitch met an unsightly defeat when a pirate mouse kidnapped him and forced him to swab his decks. After months of effort, the fairy escaped to the wild wilderness of a fearsome jungle where he now lives as a bandit, leaping off vines and singing songs about mushrooms.

As for you, Reader, you thoroughly enjoyed this story and I became your favouritest nonfiction author ever.

THE END..