The Bell's Toll

It was just 5:00 am but Tina was already arranging the vegetables and dried fish she was selling. The same scenario can be witnessed every day in the small marketplace. She had been used to this kind of life when she decided to follow the path where she is right now. At the very young age, twenty-one, she looked like she had aged faster. Her skin was brown and her body was thin. The expression on her face was vague. She might be smiling but there was something in her eyes. Something hard to be defined. After lining everything to be sold she took an old piece of cloth and covered it to a child beside her bamboo-made basket. The child was three years old. He slept innocently hugging a rugged stuffed toy tightly as it was the only toy he had. Tina looked at him with passion. Her innocence suffered from the life she never dreamed of.

Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting! The bell on the nearby church had rung several times. She couldn’t remember when was the last time she had been there. Probably, she was seventeen then. She couldn’t remember anymore since she left home and chose a life with Robert who promised her a comfortable life. A life she experienced only for months and then she started to wake up in the reality that life was not easy and it would never be. Sweet moments like those in pocketbooks, ebooks, and Wattpad were fleeting. Happy endings were just in fairy tales. In reality, it was far different, very far.

The people were getting many looking for fish, meats, and vegetables to buy. Looking in every bunch of vegetables and scrutinizing them one by one before buying.

“Manang, Is this new and fresh?” asked the short, chubby woman around forty’s while holding the eggplant and bitter gourd. She was already her suki.

“Yes, it is. I had just harvested it this dawn from our backyard.” Tina responded while weighing and putting the vegetables and some of the dried fish on the plastic.

“Thank you, Tina. So, you bring Junjun again here? You must have left him in your house every morning so that he can get better sleep.” Aling Nadya said after paying Tina. She usually saw Junjun there at the back sleeping while Tina was selling. Tina just looked at her and give a short smile with a plain expression in her eyes. She had been used to hearing advice from her suki who was kind to her.

“There would be no one to attend to him at home. I don’t want to leave him alone there.” She responded to her.

“Oh Tina, your irresponsible husband again. When will be the time that he would change his attitude? Mercy, Oh God! Soon he will be a father again.” She uttered while looking at a small bump in Tina’s womb. She was aware that Tina was carrying another child in her womb. In few months she will be giving birth again. Tina just looked at Junjun and bowed down. She was ashamed of her situation and worried about their future.

“Tina I will go now and take care of your child and baby.” She just smiled at Aling Nena. The old always showed her concern to them for she always missed her children who were already in stable life in other places some were outside the country.

After several hours few were left from her vegetables and dried fish. The sun was getting high and she could feel the heat of it in her skin. She usually didn’t leave until she sold everything. She waited for another hour and when she had nothing left she fixed her area and called her son that was playing with some kids in the nearby park.

They walked home about three km from the market so they can save money. Her husband was not home when they arrived. She prepared for their lunch and laundry all their used clothes. After that, she lullabied her child to sleep and went to her garden in the backyard and pulled the weeds and vines there. She planted vegetables on the plain areas and watered them. Then, she chose the ripe and good vegetables to be harvested at dawn and be brought to the market. Her neighbor just brought to her the dried fish to be sold. It was her routine every day. It was not easy for her but it was the thing that she can do for now. She can’t go and work somewhere because no one will attend to her baby. She can’t work in stores since she was not able to graduate her high school. It was hard for her but she had to stick with the life she had.

“Hey!Tina!Tina!Tina!” She heard her husband shouting. He was drunk again. He was working on a construction site but he sent all his money on his vices. Tina tried to ask for money from him several times but she ended being beaten up. She heard rumors that he had concubines and he took drugs. She never minds everything. She acted like no ears and no eyes just not to be beaten up every time she would make him angry. Her husband was just home twice or thrice a week. He chose to stay on his work site so he would be free to do everything he wanted.

Tina silently sneaked inside the house and prepared the food on the table for her husband as she always did before he would shout her to do it. It was the life that she would like to escape but can’t. It was the life she would like to run away but her feet nailed in the same place.

“Wash all my dirty clothes because tomorrow morning I am going back to the site again. I have no money to give because I already spend it. Besides you are selling so that is enough for you and Junjun.” He said after eating and throwing his dirty clothes on the wooden chair from his backpack.

Tina would be thankful if the scenario would always be like this. No arguments, no plates flying and no shouts can be heard. Her child woke up and when he saw his father sleeping he ran to Tina and hide at the back of her legs. She put her baby on the chair and gave a sign to keep silent not to wake up the lion in the den.

It had been a week for Tina to do the same routine, nothing unusual. One thing she noticed, Robert hadn’t been home for a week. She unmind it because she’d been used to him not going home regularly. It was an advantage on her part.

Ting!Ting!Ting!Ting!Ting!

She had heard the bell again. Her son is following every “Ting”! She looked at her son. She couldn’t remember a time that she brought her son to a church. She didn’t know what to feel at that time. He is innocent, so innocent.

“Tina! Tina! Have you heard of the news? Her neighbor asked her right away when she got down from a tricycle.

“What news Aling Sonia? She queried, confused.

“There are ten men who have been arrested because of drugs including your husband. They were brought to jail and detained. The police recovered drugs from their pockets.” Aling Sonia informed her. “It happened just this morning!.” She added.

Tina didn’t know what to react. With a plain expression, she just nodded her head. She didn’t know what to feel. Will she be happy or sad? It was mixed emotions. She couldn’t tell what she was feeling. When nothing was left from her vegetables she hurriedly fixed her things and carry her son home.

At night she put all her and her son’s clothes in a bag. For three years, it was the first time that she knew what to do. She was sure about it. It was the first time she had this kind of courage alone. They were to leave. She lullabied her baby to get enough sleep for tomorrow’s long day. She smiled at the thought of it. She pulled a square wooden box from the bottom of her cabinet. She unwrapped it from the old cloth and opened the box. It was her savings for a year. She knew it would be enough for both of them to their destination.

She woke up early and carry her son going to the market to take a ride to the bus station. She may be young when she left but she knew the way to go back to where she was from.

Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting!

She paused a moment. It had been a long time since she got there. She walked slowly to where she heard the sound. Her feet were trembling as she dragged them inside the church. For three years she forgot God in her life. She was hopeless every day suffering from pains and regrets. She questioned God about it and when felt unanswered she chose to forget Him believing he didn’t exist.

She put her child on the chair and kneel to pray. She cried begging for forgiveness.

“Ma, why are you crying? Who is He?” She looked at her child and he was pointing at the cross in the middle. Her tears fell. He pitied her son for being a victim of her misery. It was her first time to bring him there. “He is God, our Savior.” She answered and hugged him. Soon he will understand who He is.

It would be a long ride for them to reach Tina’s town. On the bus, she reminisced everything. Her childhood, her family, and the life they wanted her to have. It was the wrong decision that brought her to the place where she shouldn’t be. She was born poor and she thought eloping with a man would be an escape. She was wrong. She learned a lesson and she needed to stand up again and continue her life. She decided not to visit Robert in jail and completely disappear from his life. He must suffer all the consequences of his unrighteousness.

It was twilight when they arrived in her town. They rode a tricycle to her house. From afar she saw that it stood the same. It seemed nothing has changed in three years. She slowly walked to the door with excitement to see her family and fear of rejection. With trembling hands, she knocked on the door. An old man opened it and when he saw her he didn’t move for a minute. She just looked at her directly and tears started to fall from his eyes.

“Lando, who knocked on the door? The woman from the kitchen asked and she saw her approaching.

“Christina?!” her parents uttered while crying. “ It is you, Tina!”

They hugged her and the child beside her. Her parents knew that it was her son. He looked like his mother. Finally, she knew what she felt at that time. It was Home.