That Is Why Smoking Parents Have a Greater Responsibility in Their Relationship With Their Children

Unfortunately, when it comes to parents and smoking, their responsibility does not stop at the fact that the mother must make sure that she does not smoke even a cigarette during pregnancy and the father must make sure that he does not smoke around her. They have the responsibility from now on, including when the child is born, when he is small, and especially when he is a teenager. Why?

It has been argued that in the subject of parenting and smoking, the most important thing is that this bad habit is genetically transmitted, so if one or both parents smoke, the child will inherit this habit. That's why it's a good idea to quit smoking before you decide to have a baby.

Indeed, the mother should quit smoking even before she becomes pregnant, but this is not related to genetic transmission, but her general health. Smoking is not a disease that has its causes in the DNA to be transmitted! Which won't give you any cigarettes, though!

Continuing, parents and smoking must be two opposite realities: both new parents must give up the habit and if it is too difficult for them, to abstain at home, especially in the child's room: this is because it hurts them physically, but also because, as the little one grows up, he will perceive the images around him and assimilate them.

It is possible that one of the first images of his father, for example, was that of a man with a cigarette standing in his hand! And later, those images will activate in his subconscious!

After the little one has grown up and reached the age of schooling, it is all the more important what kind of models his older relatives show him. For him, his parents and smoking must not have anything to do with his mind. Why? The human mind constantly makes connections, connections between one reality and another.

As parents are a close reality for the child, which inspires warmth, affection, and security, any reality related in his mind to this will inspire the same warm feelings! Therefore, smoking will appear as a quiet, warm, normal activity! What behaviors, activities, values ​​do the child find in the parental home, he will take over them, and only later will he process them through the prism of his individuality.

And when the little one reaches the age of adolescence, the model offered by his parents is added to that of his colleagues, of the friends of his age. If for him his parents and smoking were linked together, don't be surprised if you catch him with a cigarette in his mouth!

A significant difference can be made here: more than half of teenagers between the ages of 14 and 17 will try to smoke, but the key is why some quit after a summer or even a shorter period, while others become addicted. !

The answer lies in the subject of parenting and smoking: he observed this pattern of behavior in the closest individuals and assimilated it. This habit for him means that he has grown up and becomes exactly like his father/mother! Even with bad habits! It is a transmission as safe as the genetic one: the child observes, assimilates, processes, acts by imitation!

Worse, if one or both parents smoke, what can they do when the unfortunate time comes when they catch their teen with a cigarette? They will behave like any other parent, they will scream, they will punish, they will constantly check and maybe they will confiscate any matches, lighters, or other objects that attract smoking!

But what they do not realize is that they do not have any authority and justification for their behavior towards the child. He will shout, "What a great cheese, and you smoke!"

Don't get upset, the child is right: you have shown him your behavior over time, you have seen that when you were stressed or upset, you immediately relax with a cigarette, he thought that, indeed, no big deal! And you have no right to deny him a pleasure that you do not deny!

He will not understand why you are screaming and all your behavior will cause a cognitive dissonance: on the one hand, he saw that you like this habit, on the other hand, now you blame him and explain to him how bad he is! What is the logic of the two opposing behaviors of the same person?

Therefore, when it comes to parents and smoking, you better choose the simple way - although it may not seem easy at first - and initially give up the habit, to remove any negative model for the child! If not, make sure you don't smoke in front of him, even when he's big! Otherwise, in vain you will be agitated and shout at him that he smokes!

Even rational arguments such as smoking cause cancer, lung disease, heart attack, and other frightening conditions will not impress him. He will probably answer, "You've been smoking since I've known you and you have nothing!" And on the one hand, he is right: there has never been a direct link between a heart attack, for example, and smoking! In addition, fewer people die each year from lung cancer than from road accidents or home accidents!

It's best to try to be honest with your teen: No, they may not die from smoking, they may not even get sick, but smoking certainly causes some unpleasant things - yellowing and tooth loss. lack of energy, death of nerve cells and therefore advanced senility in old age, an aged complexion, hair loss…

Show him the immediate, visible effects of smoking and use yourself as an example! He can't believe it, he sees reality in front of his eyes!

And then tell him that you tried, but it was too late to stop, because it's like a treacherous disease, but he has a chance to be smarter than you! And maybe it will be!