parents
The boundless love a parent has for their child is matched only by their capacity to embarrass them.
The Lies That Keep Us Warm
I think I can nail it down to that last Christmas. It was 2010. I had graduated from high school a few months before and my dad had been the accompanist at a new church, Unity, for a while by then. My sisters and I had all grown up Catholic: baptisms, first communions, confirmations, the whole thing. My oldest sister, Elizabeth, had long since moved out and started her own family, raising her two boys with a distinct absence of religion (read: absence of my parents’ influence); and my middle sister, Victoria, had moved in with her boyfriend the year before but still came around to sing for my dad, much to my displeasure. I had never been the biggest fan of my sister’s voice; that would be my dad.
By Caitlyn Curry5 years ago in Families
Full Circle
When I was seventeen I was living on the streets, working at a deli in Mesa, Az. Some how I met a drug dealer from Utah, yeah fucking Utah, go figure. Through this drug dealer I met a man, a father and a husband, says him. I am not sure yet, since we just met, but what he says sounds great. This could be it, possibly a way out. What should I do, lie and say I know Spanish? Then without warning I heard myself say, "I can help you, I can be your nanny." So with that and just like that my life changed.
By Vonia Martin5 years ago in Families
Ma/Mom/Mum
Many people would look past yet another story about a mother’s love,thinking the “act of kindness” is one of many attributes that comes hand in hand with motherhood,but how far could one actually go? My mum showed she would do absolutely anything and did go truly above and beyond at a time when i needed her like I’ve never needed anyone before.
By Laura gannon5 years ago in Families
Tired Mom
Walking down the stairs to her room, her heart feels like lead seeing the ever growing pile of laundry, the kids never seem to change their clothes, how is there so much laundry?? She makes a mental note that sometime between getting the kids in bed, lunches made and a few more hours of studying, she can probably squeeze some time in to fold the laundry mountain and maybe get to the dishes.
By Jessica Marusyk5 years ago in Families
Parents During Lockdown
During the pandemic, learning has changed and children are experiencing a hybrid mix of in-school and remote learning. How does this affect the parents who are trying so hard to keep their homes and families thriving in these uncertain times?
By Elaine M. Gallagher5 years ago in Families
The Black Mama Experience
While her left eyebrow was elevated, her right eye was slightly closed, there was no blinking or movement of any kind. She looked, absolutely fearless! She looked him dead in his eyes and said with clinched teeth, "I will kill you, let go of my muthafucken radio!"
By Marie Edward5 years ago in Families
Eleven
Eleven. When most people hear the word eleven, they think of the number or Eleven from the show “Stranger Things” on Netflix. When I hear the word eleven, I think of the loss of my mother. At the age of eleven death was something that I begrudgingly became well acquainted with.
By A.E. Valdez5 years ago in Families
A Daddy For Hannah
She regains her balance after pulling herself onto the roof. Although, she has scraped herself many-a-time on the rough shingle tiles getting to her favorite place, she is now an expert at achieving this feat and now does it scrap-free. This sanctuary of solitude provides a place where she can let out all her frustrations, dream that she is a princess held hostage in a tower about to be rescued by her knight in shining armor, or just be left alone to gaze at the vast universe above. The summer months make it comfortable to sit out under the stars and imagine how different things could be. As she settles in, she waits for the next shooting star to appear so she can make her wish. Most times she is left disappointed, but tonight, she sees it, the unmistakable streak of light shooting across the sky. “There it is! There it is!” She exclaims out loud, almost losing her balance jumping up and down in excitement. “I knew I would see you again!” Careful not to take her eyes off of the shooting star, she says, “Daddy, I miss you. Oh, Daddy I miss you so much! Come back to me, please?"
By Robyn Moss 5 years ago in Families
When Someone else Pays the Daycare Bill
I loved watching the Jensen kids. Four very bright children they made my day full and exciting. Although they were on daycare assistance, I was OK with $125 per week per child because they were well behaved and left before 5 PM, which left me with fewer kids to handle while making dinner. It usually takes at least 2 months before getting paid for the first time for a state client, because you can only bill at the end of the month and it can take up to 45 days for the state to issue a check. I was so looking forward to spending the $3800 the State of Iowa owed me. Instead of a check however, I got a notice that their daycare bill would not be paid. As luck would have it, mom had not turned in her pay stubs showing a substantial raise. The result was that her assistance was cancelled back to the day she applied. So all of the money that I counted on to pay my staff and my property taxes which were due was gone. I was going to have to borrow against the hubby’s 401K to even make it work. This was one of those days when I wanted to meet every parent at the door and tell them I was giving my 2-week’s notice. It seemed no matter how hard I worked I ended up struggling more than I would just staying home and living off my husband’s paycheck. The biggest disappointment was when mom announced since there was no way she could pay all the past due bill, she was simply going to move home to mom and send payments. Two years later and I haven’t seen .10c, let alone $3800.00. I could sue her, but she doesn’t have anything so I would simply be throwing good money after bad. Chalk it up to stupidity.
By Terri Mulhern5 years ago in Families
The Haircut Threshold
When my sister was little, my mother was DONE fighting with her long, tangled hair and inability to maintain it like a responsible adult. (Amusingly, as I write this, my hair is in a bun, because I didn’t feel like brushing the insane mess left after having sex yesterday… so….yeah.) My mother had not decided/needed to save money by learning to do some basic haircuts yet. So, she dragged my sister into the salon, screaming at her trusty stylist Jill, to shave her motherfucking head bald. I think my sister was 4-5 years old at the time?
By Elizabeth Hunter5 years ago in Families
My Struggles
I have tried to submit this one time already but it wasn't long enough so here I go again. Let me start by saying this piece should not be viewed or interpreted as I hate being a home health aide to my mother in any way. The part I hate is the struggles that come with doing this. And yes I knew there would be struggles when I signed up to do this. I have been my mothers home health aide for the last 2 years. I had been apart from my mother for 4 years before that due to her living in Washington state. Then she moved back to take care of my last living uncle 2 years ago. I'll get more into that later. Then I moved back home with them due to a bitter and abusive ex husband. Then I found out my mother has stage 4 kidney failure. To those of you who don't know what that means I will explain. It means that 1 of her kidneys is completely shut down and the other is only working some not 100%. That is a struggle to handle yes. Then on top of that she has type 2 diabetes she is completely insulin dependent. Those two things i have pretty well mastered. As far as what she can and shouldn't eat and also how much insulin to give her and when. Also on what foods are best for her kidney function. Well fast forward to last year i also became the home health aide to my last living uncle. He had leukemia . I took care of him all the way up until his last day on earth. He past away February 2020. He pretty much raised me. And he will never get to see the woman i grew up to be. But back to the love and hate relationship i have with being a home health aide to a parent. Yes its been a struggle because in the beginning i was working a 50 + hour a wekk job on top of being her full time caregiver. Yes i still work a full time job on top of taking care of her simply because the state won't to jerk me around and not pay me to do it simply because they can. I have filed every bit of paperwork they need and talked to everybody from a case worker to manager and social worker. I also deal with Medicaid because their the ones that give me the most hassle over my mother. They tell me their going to drop her simply because she is too high risk because she has fallen 19 times in the last 4 months. But then i try to explain to them that she wouldn't be falling if they would do what they need to do for me to be able to be at home with her all day and night to prevent her falls. She falls due to her knees giving out. She doesn't know when they will and when they won't give out. She could be completely fine one minute and then I go to transfer her from the bed to her chair or walker and they give out. Don't get me wrong i love my mother. But I always have the thought in the back of my head would she be safer in a home with around the clock care or is at home with me the best option? I have worked in nursing homes before and I see the type of care that these people receive. And it is down right disgusting. And yes I know that has nothing to do with the nursing home. It comes down to the caregivers they hire. I always wonder if I am giving her the best care. Is there more I could be doing? Yes I worry everyday when I walk out the door to go to my full time job if I am going to get a call saying that she's unresponsive. And that thought tears me up inside. I just wonder sometimes if there are other home health aides out there that are taking care of a parent or a relative that can relate to this? This is only part one of this collection of my love and hate relationship with being a home health aide to a parent. And please if you have thought about being a home health aide to a parent or relative feel free to ask me any questions and I will do my very best to answer any and all questions. Or even if you have questions about her condition I am an open book. Thanks for stopping by and reading this. Thank you and god bless.
By Jennifer Salinas5 years ago in Families
